My Nervous System is Shot During this Taper!

Hi Buddies. I have been doing fairly well in my taper recently. Not too many waves.

Unfortunately, yesterday my sister came over to visit. I was hesitant because I know she likes to rant and rave incessantly about politics. She is obsessed with it.

 

During dinner I sat there listening to here yelling about the current President and I tried to calmly discuss it. Unfortunately, I am now paying the price. I woke up this morning with my nervous system in tatters. I feel like my head is going to explode and my thoughts are spinning. I am even sweating.

 

In the past, before tolerance withdrawal and then this taper I had pretty good nerves. I realize now that during this taper I must protect myself from unnecessary stress. I simply cannot afford it.

 

Has anyone out there had similar experiences while tapering?

I didn't taper, I CT'd, but I can relate. around week 3 or 4, I couldn't find my checkbook one day, and I had to go to town, freaked out, and the resulting stress had me in knots for days. The pains in my joints and the muscle pain and tension was multiplied, and I was in so much pain, I could hardly move. After that, I have made a concerted effort to try not to get stressed out. It was pretty awful.

I had to chuckle at your post John cuz 'I know exactly what you mean.'  Politics whether from 24 hour news or a person is outlawed at my house or anywhere I visit.  My family finally get's it after I threatened to take a baseball bat to the tv.  When I visit in-laws, I get up from the table or leave the area while explaining that the subject makes me ill.  Please refrain if I am present.  So far, people have been pretty good about it.  I hated to have to be so assertive or maybe aggressive about it but I can't afford set backs in my healing.  My husband loves the sickness in politics today so he goes to a room where I can not hear it and we are fine.  The tv is also doing well. 

I totally get it, and there are family members who trigger my anxiety. The main one is my mother and constant talk of health and death. It's not really talk; it's painfully descriptive and detailed stories of the sick, dying, and dead.

 

The last time I met the family was at an elementary school graduation for my niece. That's a happy occasion. One little boy was called up by the fire department for a bravery award. No details. Everyone looked solemn. I thought the story must be sad but was glad the boy was honored.

 

My mom stage whispers something, and I catch only the words "child" and "death." I looked away and said quite loud I think, "I can't hear you." She started over, so I cut here off again with, "I can't hear you." Then I had a panic attack I guess. Bright red face. Hard to breathe. Wanted so bad to get out of the crowed and very hot gym bleachers but was blocked in. Left out the back door right after the ceremony was over.

 

I've told my mother twice now that I can't handle the health/death stories, but she continues. I suppose I do need to know about family, but she includes everyone she knows in town (and all over dating back to her childhood) and then people she's only heard about like the little graduation boy. Also I do not need to know the exact texture, spreadability, and smell of poop when someone is sick. She does get THAT detailed.

 

This happens any time I visit or call my mother, and she blows up my FB PM with health and death updates and no balance of good news or even neutral news. I'm just not having any contact now (two or so weeks). I get very anxious, and my sxs go into overdrive if I try to interact with mom and a couple of other family members.

 

ARGH!

 

I certainly understand what you're talking about.

Thank you all for responding. It’s nice to know I am not alone with this reaction. Stress is bad for us as we taper. So, I am going to avoid my sister throughout this whole taper - all the way to June of next year. My health is too important right now.

Likewise, John.  Any stress revs symptoms.  Thought it a bit far fetched when I first came here, but no longer, as have now experienced it personally.  Exertion has same effect. 

 

Your mother reminds me of mine Lilyann  .  How about all of the starving, dying, children in Africa in brutal detail?  Like not just outrage, but minute detail. 

 

I know these things already.  :'(

 

Dee

We should start a support group Dee.

 

My mom was always telling me about starving kids in China when I was a kid and didn't like a very few foods. I asked her if we could send my mac and cheese to China and got spanked for that. I still hate mac and cheese. I may be the only person in the world who does. 

 

We should start that support group Lilyann. 

 

Also, never ask my mother how she's doing..."well, I got up this morning and put my pink cardigan on, no wait, it was the blue one....at least I think it was the blue, because I wore the pink one yesterday...let me see..."

 

Aaarrrggghhh!

 

Dee

 

* Poor old mum's dead now, but be am still prepared to attend meetings in sympathy and support. 

Thanks for your stories, they made me laugh!  Even if we love our family, sometimes  it can be far too much.

 

My dear sister wanted to give me a directions. "But I won't go there!" She continued to describe, and said I could write. "But I'm not going there. Never ever" But she continued ...

Oh mercy! I thought I had the only nutty relatives. Glad people are sharing.I can picture every story told here.

 

I do myself that it could be worse, and I know that's true.

 

My son and I got food poisoning really bad - couldn't keep anything down. I was too sick to take care of my son (college aged), so mom took him over to her house. During the night she slipped up on him while he was asleep and inserted a suppository.

 

Not joking.

 

She almost completed nursing school way back, and her fixation on medicine knows no boundaries.

You are not alone. A spike in stressful situations always translates to a spike in symptoms for me. I look around at others my age, who are enjoying their golden years and their functionality makes me feel even worse. Try to limit exposure to intensity of any kind. Intense discussions, intense situations, intense opinions. I don't know much but I do know that we must be gentle with ourselves at this juncture. Protect your boundaries. Those who never experienced this do not have a clue as to how their words can mess up several days of our lives.

I keep looking for positive spin on my electrified nervous system.  When it involves an everyday activity like driving or being in a crowd, I know that I have to work on calming my system down before, during and after.  I work on this daily.  But when it comes to dealing with the people in my life,  this condition has shown me what types I need to avoid or set very strong boundaries with.  It has been an eye opening experience to realize just how much stress and crap I was allowing in my life.  Relatives or not, I can't be around toxic people.  Our lives may be better for it.  Tough if it's your mom.  Ear protection.

You must choose you. Without a calm center, it is easy to become a walking haboob, like we have here in AZ.