Pissed Off I Need To Hold Alprazolam And Celexa (AD) * My Decision

Despite feeling desperately ill for the better part of a year, I decided to get off benzos and the AD Celexa.  I’m sure I’m tolerant to both.

 

I was on alprazolam and 30mg of citalopram (Celexa) for at least 10 years when my doc did a bad crossover to Zoloft in late May, 2018.  If this wasn’t bad enough, my Mom died in mid May and doc prescribed alprazolam dose increase from 1.5mg/day, to 3mg/day up to 4mg/day in less than about a month’s time.  I was beside myself with grief and just wanted relief.  I got no relief from grief nor the relentless nausea, anxiety, and feelings of despair.  I was tolerant to both and after a hideous summer of gut wrenching suffering, multiple ER visits and worsening symptoms, I decided the alprazolam had to go! 

 

I started to taper myself off alprazolam at the end of August and shortly thereafter, I started to see a psychiatrist.  He insisted it wasn’t alprazolam tolerance or withdrawal.  It simply was “anxiety” rearing it’s ugly head.  I’m such a moron for sticking with this idiot for 8 months!!  He kept telling me my taper should be faster even though I was terribly symptomatic.  He compared my situation to other cases he had where fast tapers were done. Who cares?  They aren’t me! 

 

Anyway, in the meantime, after being abruptly taken off Zoloft by him in August, things continued to get worse.  I was reinstated back onto citalopram in late November even though I know it pooped out on me and was useless.  It took FOREVER to get to a “therapeutic” dose of 20mg, and as soon as I did?  I felt worse than ever!  I said, screw this shit!  So, in the middle of March, I started tapering off  this too!

 

Today I’m at 6mg/day citalopram (comes in an Rx solution so it’s easy to get an accurate dose) and .84mg/day alprazolam.  I started DLMT on 5/22 for alprazolam and went from .96mg/day to .84mg/day in 20 days (about 12%)...plus I was continuing the citalopram taper.  My CNS finally said ENOUGH!!!

 

As of yesterday, I’m holding on both for a week.  When I resume, I’m going to slow down on both and hope it goes better.

 

In the meantime, I’m happy just beating myself up over this entire debacle.  I’m seeing a psychologist now and she GETS it!!  She listens, believes in me and my suffering and has helped me emotionally.  She can’t prescribe meds so I’m at the mercy of my primary since the psychiatrist left the practice and the state for “family matters”. 

 

My experience is the psychiatrist I saw was good for one thing.  Writing scripts.  He had zero clue about tolerance or empathy.  Good riddance to him!!

 

I’ll get back on track because I really want OFF this poison.  It’s just going to take a little longer to get there.

 

Thanks for reading. 

 

Rant over.

 

💜

 

 

 

 

Sorry you are going through this. 

 

I was in a similar situation last year with my AD changes that didn't work out and going back to the original (at only 1/2 of the dose) did not seem to work and I do believe it to be the clonazepam/other meds (PPI, etc).  Probably from the start, your issues were the benzos and the grief.  I have made many mistakes and admit to them/regret them deeply.  Where to go from here is the question.  Sounds like you are definitely doing the right thing by holding, possibly even for longer than a week. 

Thanks MomOf7.  I’ll see how I feel in a week.  Maybe alternate weeks on taper with the benzo and AD.

 

I’ll have to play it by ear. 

 

Personally, I feel it’s more symptoms from citalopram than alprazolam.  I REALLY want off that!  Doc said I could decrease by 5mg/month. No can do!  Too much of taper.  I’m thinking more like 1/2mg every 2 weeks. Stuff is nasty!! 😖

 

💜

Despite feeling desperately ill for the better part of a year, I decided to get off benzos and the AD Celexa.  I’m sure I’m tolerant to both.

 

I was on alprazolam and 30mg of citalopram (Celexa) for at least 10 years when my doc did a bad crossover to Zoloft in late May, 2018.  If this wasn’t bad enough, my Mom died in mid May and doc prescribed alprazolam dose increase from 1.5mg/day, to 3mg/day up to 4mg/day in less than about a month’s time.  I was beside myself with grief and just wanted relief.  I got no relief from grief nor the relentless nausea, anxiety, and feelings of despair.  I was tolerant to both and after a hideous summer of gut wrenching suffering, multiple ER visits and worsening symptoms, I decided the alprazolam had to go! 

 

I started to taper myself off alprazolam at the end of August and shortly thereafter, I started to see a psychiatrist.  He insisted it wasn’t alprazolam tolerance or withdrawal.  It simply was “anxiety” rearing it’s ugly head.  I’m such a moron for sticking with this idiot for 8 months!!  He kept telling me my taper should be faster even though I was terribly symptomatic.  He compared my situation to other cases he had where fast tapers were done. Who cares?  They aren’t me! 

 

Anyway, in the meantime, after being abruptly taken off Zoloft by him in August, things continued to get worse.  I was reinstated back onto citalopram in late November even though I know it pooped out on me and was useless.  It took FOREVER to get to a “therapeutic” dose of 20mg, and as soon as I did?  I felt worse than ever!  I said, screw this shit!  So, in the middle of March, I started tapering off  this too!

 

Today I’m at 6mg/day citalopram (comes in an Rx solution so it’s easy to get an accurate dose) and .84mg/day alprazolam.  I started DLMT on 5/22 for alprazolam and went from .96mg/day to .84mg/day in 20 days (about 12%)...plus I was continuing the citalopram taper.  My CNS finally said ENOUGH!!!

 

As of yesterday, I’m holding on both for a week.  When I resume, I’m going to slow down on both and hope it goes better.

 

In the meantime, I’m happy just beating myself up over this entire debacle.  I’m seeing a psychologist now and she GETS it!!  She listens, believes in me and my suffering and has helped me emotionally.  She can’t prescribe meds so I’m at the mercy of my primary since the psychiatrist left the practice and the state for “family matters”. 

 

My experience is the psychiatrist I saw was good for one thing.  Writing scripts.  He had zero clue about tolerance or empathy.  Good riddance to him!!

 

I’ll get back on track because I really want OFF this poison.  It’s just going to take a little longer to get there.

 

Thanks for reading. 

 

Rant over.

 

💜

 

Hey Pissed off, I would make a suggestion, don't taper both at same time, that confuses your brain and central nervous system.  One, it can adjust to a slow taper.  IMO.  All benzo 'a are different, so they are hitting different gaba receptors and maybe same gaba receptors.  I know you really want off the drugs, but tapering one at a time usually works best.  If your symptoms are bad, a week isn't going to be near long enough to stabilize.  Good luck, Mary 🍀

Thanks Mary.  I’m not sure which is causing the most trouble.  It could be both.  I don’t know which to choose!  I was thinking of tapering alprazolam .01ml/day one week and the next week reduce Celexa dose and hold alprazolam dose that week.  I know a week isn't a long time but it’s something.  I could reduce Celexa a mg every other week.  My doc said 5mg/month but that’s too fast.  I always had symptoms titrating up (that was 5mg increments) and tapering off isn’t fun either.  I’ve been on Celexa 7 months; alprazolam more than 10 years.  Which is causing more harm and symptoms? Probably both. Conundrum.

Thanks Mary.  I’m not sure which is causing the most trouble.  It could be both.  I don’t know which to choose!  I was thinking of tapering alprazolam .01ml/day one week and the next week reduce Celexa dose and hold alprazolam dose that week.  I know a week isn't a long time but it’s something.  I could reduce Celexa a mg every other week.  My doc said 5mg/month but that’s too fast.  I always had symptoms titrating up (that was 5mg increments) and tapering off isn’t fun either.  I’ve been on Celexa 7 months; alprazolam more than 10 years.  Which is causing more harm and symptoms? Probably both. Conundrum.

 

Honestly, I think , imo , that is a horrible idea.  Your brain and central nervous system will just be unstable all the time.  If you need more information, go on the Withdrawal Support thread and advice what you would like to do, and also who has used Celexa.  On that thread, many more people will read it and you will get lots more advice and opinions.  Good luck, no matter what your decision.  Mary 🍀

I know it’s not a good idea but I’ve felt so poorly for so long I’m trying to get to the bottom of the angst in this taper.  DLMT with alprazolam is slow so that’s the best I can do with that....other than holding which keeps me sick. 

 

I’ll post another thread seeking advice from people on an AD and a benzo.

 

I appreciate your opinion Mary.

 

💜

I know it’s not a good idea but I’ve felt so poorly for so long I’m trying to get to the bottom of the angst in this taper.  DLMT with alprazolam is slow so that’s the best I can do with that....other than holding which keeps me sick. 

 

I’ll post another thread seeking advice from people on an AD and a benzo.

 

I appreciate your opinion Mary.

 

💜

 

Good luck, a lot of people will want to help you