Unbelievable!

Hi everyone! I'm a 68 yo female who took xanax 30+ years ago for panic attacks. I was on .5 mg and was only on it for a couple of months, and not every day. And I had no withdrawal. After serious back surgeries and complications I was on high dose narcotics for 15 years and Lyrica for 10 years. I never needed the Lyrica was being the compliant pain patient and taking it.

 

Two years ago I decided to get off all of it. The narcotic withdrawal was brutal but the Lyrica was worse. About 2 months ago I was started back on pain meds- pain had disabled me for the last year and a half- and also prescribed xanax. My anxiety was off the charts. I again quit the pain med a month ago but continued to take the xanax. I was on 1 mg 2x day as needed and I don't recall taking that full dose more than twice in the 2 months. I might take 1 mg 3x's a week. But 3 weeks ago I had some new medical issues and was very anxious about it. But for some reason I decided that I had to stop the xanax and took 1/2 (.5mg) for a few days and quit 5 days ago. My withdrawal symptoms are horrible!

 

I had avoided even looking up the duration and symptoms because I didn't want to be discouraged but today I am in such a worse place than yesterday that I started looking. I thought my having the horrible anxiety and weakness and shortness of breath and depression were due to the fact that I had sensitized my body and brain with the 2 other withdrawals. If that makes sense. But no, I see this is common.

 

I was reading a few recovery sites and saw where meds are advised rather than cold turkey. I basically did cold turkey. One site suggested a weaning off using Valium. I had some here (it's the dog's) and I took 5 mg a little bit ago. I am also on Ambien and had resorted to taking one in the daytime a few times to lessen the anxiety and although it didn't make me sleepy it did help overall but that isn't the route I want to take.

 

When I was withdrawing from the narcotics I never once had thoughts pulling me back to it but a firm determination to get it out of my system. I am constantly tempted now to swallow a xanax to stop these overwhelming thoughts and anxiety.

 

I am (so far) having such an easy time compared to what others have described that I'm embarrassed to complain. And I have such a supportive partner. He has loved me unconditionally. I am still struggling with debilitating pain and can't help but wonder if this is the time to even try to get off the xanax but with 5 days under my belt I don't want to give up.

 

I am trying to get a diagnosis for what could be a problem with my pancreas. It's very anxiety producing and again, I wonder if I should delay even trying to wean off the xanax at this time. It was not causing me any issues and was helping my anxiety and mood. So now I can see that I'm justifying grabbing one and swallowing it. Any advice??? I feel so defeated!

Hello Success77,

 

Welcome to Benzo Buddies! I'm so sorry about your ongoing pain and other health issues.  To be honest, you have to decide when the time is right to come off xanax. Truthfully, these types of drugs are designed for short term use only, say two to three weeks.  After that a physical dependency can develop and withdrawal for some can be challenging.

 

Yes, you pretty much went cold turkey, which is not the recommended method for stopping benzos. Generally a slow taper is suggested to help minimize withdrawal effects. If you are also taking Ambien, you are taking what is called a Z drug. These Z drugs affect the central nervous system the same as a benzo.

 

Withdrawal can create a whole different kind of anxiety. Frankly, I didn't have severe anxiety or panic until I was put on benzos. Tolerance and withdrawal sure did a great job of creating it.  Once off and healed this was not an issue anymore.

 

Cold turkey is tough, I went through one myself.  I would not advice taking rescue doses of valium, that can confuse an already confused nervous system.

 

I'll give you a link to the Cold Turkey, Rapid Withdrawal and Detox Board. You can communicate with others in the same situation as yourself.  With time, things should ease up but you have a lot of your plate right now with your health issues.

 

I'll also give you a link to the Ashton Manual. Although it discusses tapering in detail, it also gives good information on the withdrawal process in general. The manual was written by Dr. Heather Ashton, an expert in the field.

 

General Taper Plans   

 

The Ashton Manual

 

pianogirl 

Hi pianogirl. Thank you for the fast reply! I did regret taking the valium. But not expecting to hear so quickly and reading posts about the dangers- seizures- I took .5 mg xanax about a 1/2 hour ago and plan to take another .5 mg tonight and 2x day for as long as I have to to hopefully have the symptoms decrease. The thought of having a seizure while at home alone was just too terrifying.

When I detoxed off the narcotics I had much more body pain and where my new pain is located I hurt much worse. That is happening now and I don't want to take morphine. My entire trunk- ribs, back, etc, hurt terribly. I understand the person posting who said her muscles won't let her breathe. I just hope the 1/2 doses of xanax will be enough for my brain to let go of the pain and extreme anxiety.

I failed to mention that I have been on paxil for over 25 years for what was not severe mood swings pre-menopausal. Getting off it was just never talked about with drs. I was feeling good and decided to just quit cold turkey about 9 months ago. For about 3 weeks I was OK. So when severe symptoms started I didn't even connect it to the paxil. It was hell for 2 months. I was in the ER twice and the hospital once. When I finally looked up paxil withdrawal and recognized myself I went back on the paxil. I was just not strong enough to continue. I did get better and felt pretty normal, other than the physical pain, until the xanax. I think I decided to get off so I wouldn't get physically addicted. Too late.

Even being in bed for weeks at a time had not dampened my spirit and positive attitude until now. It is horrible how desperation and feeling hopeless can lead to decisions that are going to lead to so many complications. It's unbelievable to me that I semi-wish for a bad diagnosis about my pancreas. My thoughts are not my own. I have a great deal of faith and when someone prayed with me earlier today I wanted to say "it didn't take" because this anxiety, just like the paxil withdrawal feels separate from me. Like I see the symptoms of anxiety, burning skin, pain. But I don't actually FEEL anxious. It's like it is just happening to me as I watch. I was trying to tell myself that it's just a feeling and I can ride it out but I had no idea it could be physically dangerous and fatal!

Thanks so much for doing this work!!!!!

I just realized that my Rxs for pain and xanax were started over 4 months ago. Not 2. My how time flies when in distress!!!