DEPRESSION OR BRAIN FOG

Hi All,

 

I was doing pretty well for a while and now I can't seem to figure out if I am suffering from depression, or it's just the brain fog is that bad that I feel almost delusional and lethargic.  My mornings are pretty rough and it does get better.  I have these crazy thoughts how my life is never going to be normal again with just a ton of fear.  My anxiety has been pretty good for the most part but I do find myself getting choked up a bit with panic lately and I just can't figure out if at 4 months off this is still W/D (I'm assuming it is).  I guess after 10 years of 1-2 mg of xanax or klonopin a day, 4 months is not a long time.  All of my other symptoms have left me which is nice.  I am still just battling depression or brain fog, whatever this is and a little bit of fear. Any help would be appreciated.  Thanks.

 

 

ALL IN ALL I AM HAPPY I AM OFF, AND I KNOW THIS IS PROBABLY JUST A PART OF HEALING BUT IT IS SO VERY HARD.  HERES TO LIFE BEYOND BENZOS.

Hello Newlife,

 

I’m about four months into taper (still on 1mg) and having the same brain fog/depression. I can’t remember things, especially time-date-related, which is unusual for me. It’s like everything is magnified. Also, I’m not able to enjoy anything. Food tastes weird, smells are offensive. I look forward to the moments when I’m not worrying all day. Theses will increase with time  the healed ones say!

 

Rose x

If I though it was bad, just look at it now . . . OMG. Am sooo depressed and panic stricken. I've really lost it somewhere along the way. I can't think straight nor can I write here. I've been going back over it with several times trying to write something that makes sense and not I'm really scared. Has been several posts on other subjects too and it's like I've become just retarded. No kidding around here - I spent half/hour try to tune my guitar - finally had to give up. I think I OD'd on Tramadol or something. I may have lost too much oxygen when I tried to take myself out, inhaling CO2 - but that was several years ago. What's happening to me? Can't think, can't write, can't read or understand ANYTHING. I feel I need to go to the ER but what could they do? I've really gone down the drain hole. (have tried writing this over and over) I even got lost trying to fill the bird feeder. Depressing has always been an extreme issues with me but more so now than it has ever gotten. Do I need to make an apt. with my psychiatrist? Trouble is, I can't afford that since my i lost my insurance. In SERIOUS TROUBLE. what's going on with me? I'm about 3 years off Klonopin  and just getting way off my wits about me. It's awful when typing the test gets hung up with consuming itself (if anyone knows what I'm talking about.) If anyone could tell me something, anything about this, I'd at least feel a bit more grounded. HELP please!!

Catt, sorry to hear of your distress. Can you try a GP first? Just thinking there might be something else that needs attention that the emergency or psychiatrist might not consider. Where I am (Australia) when I’ve been to ER for mental health they just sent me home again. I’m only new to withdrawals, but have the fog really bad. Time feels slow and a lot of memories pretty much non-existant, which would be good if they were the crappy ones.

 

Wishing you well

Reading that comment cat I would go and see a medical practitioner, I highly doubt your brain/body is broken because of any 'oxygen shortage'. Although, as I don't know your story I would go and get checked over just to be on the safe side of things.

 

Best of luck to you.

rose, cookie,

Thanks for your support - will definitely see the primary care physician first, will no doubt be referred as per insurance guidelines. Will have to see the psychiatrist outside of network. But yes, I'm really worried - have a lot of anxiety over this impairment. The degree to which it is affecting me is far greater than anything I've experience in the last 3 years of w/d. I've heard Benzo w/d can lead to Alzheimer's - not 100% sure but there seems to be some correlation.

Try not to jump to any conclusions when you're in this panicked state, you will only increase the anxiety by obsessing over situations that are simply not true,

 

Secondly, I heavily heavily doubt you have any permanent cognitive impairment. How long have you been feeling like this?

 

Is there something you have been doing recently (or eating) that could have triggered such symptoms? Think very carefully about this.

 

What is your diet like? Are you eating healthy organic food (it's expensive I know but in our situation(s) it is a must because of all the crap in processed foods.

 

I don't live in America (I'm English) so I don't know much about the American healthcare system.. Try to be seen by a doctor who is competent in their field and one that is not simply driven by profit.

 

As I don't know your history, there's not much help I can give you. Try to take it easy and listen to calming music, take a walk or a hot bath. I know the food in America is a lot worse than over here in Europe so please take care eating..

 

I too was experiencing profound distress/cognitive impairment a while ago. I couldn't type a sentence, let a lone write this short post out. Things will get better, so you have to keep telling yourself that. Because they will get better. Trust me.

 

Best of luck to you.

I agree with you there, Cookiemouse, with foods being a trigger. This has only become obvious to me in the last few weeks. If I stick to smoothies and green juices and plenty of water I’m much calmer. But as soon as I touch a carb, it’s like instant depression. I thought I was imagining it at first - nope. A process of elimination says it’s anything processed or carb related. I tried a vegan burger one day and then didn’t sleep at all. Does anyone know what this means long term? Do we become sensitive permanently to food or can we have cheat days?

I would think that its in no way permanent. Our bodies have been taking this disruptive medication(s) for so long that it'll take a while for them to get back to some kind of normality. We can help ourselves along this path by eating correctly, going out for exercise as much as possible (circumstances permitting) and generally trying to abstain from the toxic things in life (coffee, toxic people, toxic foods, etc)

 

As for the duration of time required to 'get back to normal', I honestly don't know. Everyone is different and we've all been taking different doses of different medications. Some studies have put the repair lengths at 6 months to 2 years or more, but some may get better quicker in that time. Its all subjective to the individual in question.