Update on my Klon taper

Hi there an update on my taper I have made it down to 0.138mg left to go.  Have had to slow things down as it is getting harder as I get lower.  I am doing about 2.5% every 10 days.  Using liquid suspension created by my pharmacy. 

 

Anyone else get that weird scared feeling for no reason and what do you do for it.  I try distraction and works at times or deep breathing.  Any suggestions and does it go away once we are done the taper?

 

Purple

That's really amazing, way to go!!! You inspire me. When the fear hits I just try to remember that benzo wd amplifies fear and when you have a hard taper, like most of us here, it's also traumatic in nad of itself. In other words, my fears are also grounded in the past suffering all of this has caused, plus whatever I've read/heard other people are going through.

 

Acceptance is the most helpful. Accepting that I'm afraid, accepting that it's hard, scary, however I feel, seems to disarm the emotion and take the edge off. Just allowing it. Having compassion for myself going through this nightmare is really helpful, talking to myself like a child who is scared. And yah, when all else fails, distraction.

Yes acceptance is the thing and you are so right the benzo amplifies so many things. 

 

In looking at my spreadsheet I have dropped 0.61mg of klon since Jan 2018 but from starting will be 3 years will be this October at 2mg that is 1.86mg wow

 

Also forgot during this time was on and off some other AD's so my body and mind have been thru one heck of a ride but getting closer to that finish line

 

So need to stay strong and one foot in front of the other and the finish line is so close

 

Purple

This process is harrowing and breaks us down. The fact that you've made it this far shows that you are strong. It's so easy to forget, I can tell someone else but I forget I am too. hah

Yes you are are you still on 8.5mg of valium as your signature shows?  Sorry looks like you had to reinstate

 

Purple

Yeah, I'm at 8 today. 

 

I went voluntary for mild SI to a psych ward (not even actively suicidal just trying to get some help) and they put an illegal 2 week hold on me and forced me to stay for a very rapid taper (10 days or so), and it was not in ANY way even a detox facility. I wasn't even having the SI the day I was shipped down to that facility from my county one. Two week holds are for people who are actively psychotic or still actively suicidal and what they did was beyond unethical. I could sue but they'll just say I was crazy. They pumped me so full of gabapentin that I wasn't even able to think. I saw them CT other people who lost it (hallucinations, full mental breakdowns) and a nurse told me they do it all the time and he'd seen people have seizures on the unit multiple times, imagine being imprisoned there with nurses laughing at you saying benzo wd isn't real while you're in acute...never going to admit myself ANYWHERE again. The insurance didn't even pay them because of what they did, they had no grounds. It was a nightmare.

 

I tried to just stay off of the meds anyways, I was on a slow taper and had been on a long hold. I had to reinstate. They basically just threw a huge wrench in my whole process that nearly killed me and it took many months to stabilize and try tapering again. Not to mention exacerbated my existing PTSD...

 

Sorry if that's tmi, it's taken me five months to be able to talk about it it was so traumatic. At least my doc here will let me taper. Some day I'm going to publish about all of this...

Hi there an update on my taper I have made it down to 0.138mg left to go.  Have had to slow things down as it is getting harder as I get lower.  I am doing about 2.5% every 10 days.  Using liquid suspension created by my pharmacy. 

 

Anyone else get that weird scared feeling for no reason and what do you do for it.  I try distraction and works at times or deep breathing.  Any suggestions and does it go away once we are done the taper?

 

Purple

 

Hi Purple,

 

I have been titrating since November 2017. Started at 0.5 mg and I am down to 0.2 mg's. I'm very happy to be down this low even though it hasn't been easy and I've had to hold for surgery and life events.  Although I am doing this slowly I also do not believe that I will slide off with no side effects so I don't expect it to be easy.  Like you... I have had my meltdowns, my moodiness, no sleep on certain days, anxiety and all the side effects that some of us experiences.  Through all this... I  have learned what to do when this happens by working on how I am reacting to it.  I am watching tons of videos and there is Dr. (a neuro brain scientist) that has been very helpful to me.  I have been reading books and been trying to eat right, etc.  Bottom line... I don't think this is easy but it's doable and I have had my times of fear and doubt but I keep telling myself I cannot take this drug for the rest of my life so I need to push forward.  I've spent a lot of time and money (supplies) to get this far so I keep going.  Next year at this time I will hopefully be done!  Yeah!!! By the way... congrats on your progress.  Very encouraging to me.  You can do this... 

Hi there an update on my taper I have made it down to 0.138mg left to go.  Have had to slow things down as it is getting harder as I get lower.  I am doing about 2.5% every 10 days.  Using liquid suspension created by my pharmacy. 

 

Anyone else get that weird scared feeling for no reason and what do you do for it.  I try distraction and works at times or deep breathing.  Any suggestions and does it go away once we are done the taper?

 

Purple

 

 

Hi and thanks for your update glad things are improving for you and yes I agree we cannot come off without sxs as some are just lucky and have no issues.  I like yourself they tried some of those same AD's on me and I am so sensitive could not tolerate right now still on 20mg of amitripline but will deal with that once of the benzo which is the big one.  Also like yo mention we have to learn coping skills to deal with the anxiety as it is part of life and if we want to be off the meds which for me are not helping I went in tolerant pretty quick and its only been about 2 1/2 years I have been on not as long as yourself.  We got this stay strong and again thanks for reaching out and sharing helps knowing there are others like myself tapering and having issues but still moving forward.

 

Purple

 

Hi Purple,

 

I have been titrating since November 2017. Started at 0.5 mg and I am down to 0.2 mg's. I'm very happy to be down this low even though it hasn't been easy and I've had to hold for surgery and life events.  Although I am doing this slowly I also do not believe that I will slide off with no side effects so I don't expect it to be easy.  Like you... I have had my meltdowns, my moodiness, no sleep on certain days, anxiety and all the side effects that some of us experiences.  Through all this... I  have learned what to do when this happens by working on how I am reacting to it.  I am watching tons of videos and there is Dr. (a neuro brain scientist) that has been very helpful to me.  I have been reading books and been trying to eat right, etc.  Bottom line... I don't think this is easy but it's doable and I have had my times of fear and doubt but I keep telling myself I cannot take this drug for the rest of my life so I need to push forward.  I've spent a lot of time and money (supplies) to get this far so I keep going.  Next year at this time I will hopefully be done!  Yeah!!! By the way... congrats on your progress.  Very encouraging to me.  You can do this... 

Yes acceptance is the thing and you are so right the benzo amplifies so many things. 

 

In looking at my spreadsheet I have dropped 0.61mg of klon since Jan 2018 but from starting will be 3 years will be this October at 2mg that is 1.86mg wow

 

Also forgot during this time was on and off some other AD's so my body and mind have been thru one heck of a ride but getting closer to that finish line

 

So need to stay strong and one foot in front of the other and the finish line is so close

 

Purple

hi purple I also was switched from different AD's and was unstable especially paxil  and then I took  klonopin everyday  and messed me up and now im tapering big depressing mess... how long were you on  the different AD's? you tapering bring me hope 

Yes acceptance is the thing and you are so right the benzo amplifies so many things. 

 

In looking at my spreadsheet I have dropped 0.61mg of klon since Jan 2018 but from starting will be 3 years will be this October at 2mg that is 1.86mg wow

 

Also forgot during this time was on and off some other AD's so my body and mind have been thru one heck of a ride but getting closer to that finish line

 

So need to stay strong and one foot in front of the other and the finish line is so close

 

Purple

hi purple I also was switched from different AD's and was unstable especially paxil  and then I took  klonopin everyday  and messed me up and now im tapering big depressing mess... how long were you on  the different AD's? you tapering bring me hope 

 

 

Hi Bonty

 

On and off AD's from about 2016 not very long on any of them as too many side effects and like you Klon has messed me up and I went in tolerant pretty quick so been a long hard journey but I will make it as will you.

 

I am still taking amitripline 20mg and will deal with that once off the benzo.  It is the only one I could tolerate at only small dose.  They say it is probably helping me some with w/d and I don't want to taper 2 meds at once and the benzo is the big one.

 

Are you doing your own liquid?  I get mine prepared by the pharmacy and control my schedule.  They gave me a schedule which is good.  As I have gotten lower like I mentioned I have had to slow things down and tweak things.  I still have 0.132mg left to go.  I have been dropping about 2.5% every 10 days and seems to be working okay for now.

 

Purple

Yes acceptance is the thing and you are so right the benzo amplifies so many things. 

 

In looking at my spreadsheet I have dropped 0.61mg of klon since Jan 2018 but from starting will be 3 years will be this October at 2mg that is 1.86mg wow

 

Also forgot during this time was on and off some other AD's so my body and mind have been thru one heck of a ride but getting closer to that finish line

 

So need to stay strong and one foot in front of the other and the finish line is so close

 

Purple

hi purple I also was switched from different AD's and was unstable especially paxil  and then I took  klonopin everyday  and messed me up and now im tapering big depressing mess... how long were you on  the different AD's? you tapering bring me hope 

 

 

Hi Bonty

 

On and off AD's from about 2016 not very long on any of them as too many side effects and like you Klon has messed me up and I went in tolerant pretty quick so been a long hard journey but I will make it as will you.

 

I am still taking amitripline 20mg and will deal with that once off the benzo.  It is the only one I could tolerate at only small dose.  They say it is probably helping me some with w/d and I don't want to taper 2 meds at once and the benzo is the big one.

 

Are you doing your own liquid?  I get mine prepared by the pharmacy and control my schedule.  They gave me a schedule which is good.  As I have gotten lower like I mentioned I have had to slow things down and tweak things.  I still have 0.132mg left to go.  I have been dropping about 2.5% every 10 days and seems to be working okay for now.

 

Purple

thanks for your reply, i use liquid k and make a solution... how long did you take k for and  how long  have you tapered for? I also reached tolerance very quickly  im only 40% done and having a very hard time I'm holding now... I also take celexa 5mg. what are your sxs? I took 3 different ADs for months and no taper and had ssri wd so this is my 2nd wd , its beyond difficult to accept.. I will have to slow down as well  also not able to work of course    :'(

Klon have taken will be about 2 1/2 years started at 2mg and basically like I said went in tolerant pretty quick so dry cut tapered until I hit 0.75mg that was Jan 2018 and then switched to liquid suspension and so tapering since since starting so all together have dropped 1.87mg.  Sxs tight now are foggy head, anxiety is the big one.  I work part time so a good distraction.

 

Purple

Klon have taken will be about 2 1/2 years started at 2mg and basically like I said went in tolerant pretty quick so dry cut tapered until I hit 0.75mg that was Jan 2018 and then switched to liquid suspension and so tapering since since starting so all together have dropped 1.87mg.  Sxs tight now are foggy head, anxiety is the big one.  I work part time so a good distraction.

 

Purple

so your not all that symptomatic, I'm not even half way and have vertigo, dizziness, off balance feel weak tired don't sleep enough

Yes some get those sxs that you have I get tired but sleep not to bad and I think that is the amitrip that maybe helping me there.  I hate that scary fear that comes from nowhere that causes the thoughts to start and anxiety

 

Purple

Yes some get those sxs that you have I get tired but sleep not to bad and I think that is the amitrip that maybe helping me there.  I hate that scary fear that comes from nowhere that causes the thoughts to start and anxiety

 

Purple

I don't have the scary feeling  but do have anxiety not that severe thou... I am trying to see if I can work  I'm not sure yet, if it's possible. I do get scary about my situation thou negative thoughts

Yes the amitrip  helps ...