Should have expected it...texting a friend who was a nurse

Her first question was, "Why on earth would you want off benzos?"

My response, "Because they cause brain and nerve damage?"

Her, "Oh that's just silly, they don't do anything of the sort. Just like beer doesn't kill off brain cells."

 

I quickly changed the subject. I hate to use the word 'flabbergasted', but that's what I was. Or, pehaps, 'nonplussed'. I suppose I shouldn't have been.

Heartbreaking, I’m so sorry Mayavata. Beyond cruel.

Yes, my resolve wavered just the tiniest bit there. But I'm going to push on. What I'm doing is RIGHT.

There are nurses on BB who never realized that benzos can be double-edged swords. She probably sees people who think they're lifesavers, but she doesn't realize (unfortunately, as she is a nurse!!!) the terrible harm they can cause for a very long time.

 

I'm sorry you went through this. The medical profession is either very ignorant or putting their head in the sand and pretending nothing is wrong. It's a shame that we're more versed than they are on the subject, yet they refuse to hear any negativity about it, which is very sad.

Heh..."they refuse to hear any negativity about it"...you certainly have that right. I asked my GP why I wasn't told these drugs were so addictive and difficult to get off of. His response? That perhaps I should get another doctor, because he wasn't going to give me any more. I had to BEG him to not do that to me. I am still SO PISSED off and ANGRY that I had to humiliate myself and f*****g BEG for drugs!!! That's when I was determined to give him a big fat FU, and get myself off them. By myself. Screw him and the pony he rode in on. Pill pushing D-bag.

 

NOT EVER AGAIN!!! I am not EVER again putting myself in a position where some morbidly obese buttmunch of an MD (or any other kind!) wields that kind of power over me like that. NOT F*****G EVER!!!

 

Sorry, rant over. Still angry, can ya tell? My anger is fueling my determination, so all is well, but this is gonna call for another session with my therapist. LOL

I have an appt with him next week. Hope I can restrain myself from yelling at him. I have a plan, and it requires that I remain outwardly docile. But one day...

Mayavata,

 

It’s alright to feel this, I have been as angry. I understand and so do others here. It doesn’t make you bad to be furious, it’s so painful and it can be funneled and channeled for survival or even into creative energy.

 

You are not defined by anger and you will win, and it is alright to be angry when you have been poisoned and betrayed—who wouldn’t be?

 

We do what we can, I have a propensity toward anger because I am a gut kind of person too. I just feel and know things and it needs to be said sometimes. I feel like I’m working on it for myself too. I hope you aren’t ashamed, but I only had that thought because I don’t want to be ashamed about my emotions around this crime against humanity...

 

Never give up, never surrender!

 

Plus you write well.

There are nurses on BB who never realized that benzos can be double-edged swords. She probably sees people who think they're lifesavers, but she doesn't realize (unfortunately, as she is a nurse!!!) the terrible harm they can cause for a very long time.

 

Benzos are great drugs for medical staff. A drugged patient isn't demanding and doesn't complain.

 

 

 

Florida Guy - Perfect!  :laugh:

The ignorance is truly shocking ...

Restoration - true. I know they can't learn about EVERY drug on the market in medical school, but, just damn. Benzos are a pretty well known and used medication. You'd think they'd learn SOMETHING. And stop handing that crap out like candy. Opiate crisis my butt. Takes about ten days to go through WD. Ask me how I know. But few even consider the ramifications/consequences of benzo WD. Which is much more sinister and longer term.

Buttmunch!

 

Thanks for that!

"Benzos are great drugs for medical staff. A drugged patient isn't demanding and doesn't complain."

 

HAHA yes exactly, this is everything. They accept them just like I did, TBH I didn't want to deal with my emotional breakdown or PTSD either. I was pissed and benzo raging for a long time about this and I still am, sometimes.

 

Medical professionals set me off the most, until I remember how every relevant textbook they ever read was written by a pharmaceutical company and that they are completely brainwashed during their training, indebted, exhausted. I imagine that if they gave up believing in the system their expensive exhaustive, life draining education gave them their whole world would probably implode...very few are humble enough to admit it that benzo wd syndrome is real, or even look into it, and it's that arrogance that really burns.

My daughter is a nurse and thinks my symptoms are all psychological. Thinks I was never on enough medication to be having such a hard time. I love her but she doesn’t understand.

Heh..."they refuse to hear any negativity about it"...you certainly have that right. I asked my GP why I wasn't told these drugs were so addictive and difficult to get off of. His response? That perhaps I should get another doctor, because he wasn't going to give me any more. I had to BEG him to not do that to me. I am still SO PISSED off and ANGRY that I had to humiliate myself and f*****g BEG for drugs!!! That's when I was determined to give him a big fat FU, and get myself off them. By myself. Screw him and the pony he rode in on. Pill pushing D-bag.

 

NOT EVER AGAIN!!! I am not EVER again putting myself in a position where some morbidly obese buttmunch of an MD (or any other kind!) wields that kind of power over me like that. NOT F*****G EVER!!!

 

Sorry, rant over. Still angry, can ya tell? My anger is fueling my determination, so all is well, but this is gonna call for another session with my therapist. LOL

 

Yes, it's okay to rant! Been there, done that in spades. When you have to go through something as bad as this, that steals your life away and your positive thoughts, too, of course it's right to rant!

 

I wouldn't be surprised if some - or a lot of - medical personnel were on these pills, had a difficult time getting off, and remained quiet because of embarrassment or whatever other reason. So the news doesn't get around.

My daughter is a nurse and thinks my symptoms are all psychological. Thinks I was never on enough medication to be having such a hard time. I love her but she doesn’t understand.

 

Wow coachgeorge..Your daughter is a nurse and doesn't get it or hasn't even bothered to research?  That's sad.  Guess I need to let go of my anger concerning my husband and other family members who won't read the facts about benzo w/d.  I don't expect anything from my X- Dr. but continued complete ignorance.  I fired the jerk anyway.  Just wish family had better understanding.

I am so sorry you guys have unsupportive family members. My husband has been nothing but supportive. Read Parker's "What's going on in your brain" the same day I joined BB. Good thing, as my nurse friend almost set me back. I wavered the tiniest bit, but remembered all the posts I've seen on BB about how most in the medical profession seemed to be clueless, so I just ignored her and moved on.

 

Thanks everyone, for responding to this thread. The support here is awesome!

Imagine being on for only 10 days and having severe withdrawal while your PCP and their  attending med student are in denial, saying there’s no way I got addicted in such a short timeframe. Then they’re trying to talk to me about Headspace and meditation as my BP is over 200 and I’m crying hysterically. I’m not doctor bashing but how do I know more than the doctor as she is dismissing the Ashton Manual? These drugs have ruined over a year of my life.