Need support, Really struggling

Hi,  I was on Valium for six months after being put on it because I was having a horrible time withdrawing cold turkey from Cymbalta.  I tried to taper three times with no success  and then my husband talked me into going cold turkey.  I have been off for six months now and have been in misery ever since.  I have had no windows.  I have been polydrugged and thinknthat is part of the problem.  Currently trying to get off Respirdal but having a very hard time.  I am having a hard time having hope since I seem to get worse every day.  The anxiety and depression are debilitating.

Hello, Mojo5419 — welcome to BenzoBuddies, and congratulations on being benzo-free!

 

Don’t worry, I was horribly polydrugged too, and as awful as the whole withdrawal process is (I didn’t think I’d even survive), it’s possible to make a complete recovery.

 

I'm glad that you decided to join the forum. Our members have gone through benzodiazepine use and withdrawal themselves, so you'll find plenty of information and support here.

 

The following links should be a good starting place for you to post your questions:

 

  Post-withdrawal Recovery Support

  Cold Turkey

  Other Medications

 

Please take a moment to Create a Signature — you can enter your pertinent drug and taper history in the box at the bottom. This will allow members to see where you are in the process, so that they can better support you.

 

Looking forward to seeing you on the forum!

Leslie 

 

 

The Ashton Manual provides information that can be useful during any stage of withdrawal and recovery, and includes a list of common symptoms with helpful explanations.

Welcome to the Group!

Welcome to bb Mojo.  I am so sorry you are going through this, it is very hard but we will try to get through it together 

June 2018. Taken cold turkey off Cymbalta Started in Valium 9mgs.  Effexor, Respiradone, and Trazadone.

 

June 2018 they Dec. 2018.  Tried to taper Valium 3 times, was unsuccessful

 

Dec. 2018. Husband talked me into going cold turkey on Valium. Big mistake.

 

Dec. 2018 thru June 2019.  Horrendous suffering. No windows.  Tried to taper Respirdal during this time and was unsuccessful.  Barely hanging on

 

If I am understanding your signature correctly, the only drug you are still taking is Respirdal and you have cold turkey 'd all other meds since 2018. 

 

That had to be extremely hard on you?  Were you cold turkeying more than 1 med at a time? 

 

We are  not Dr's , so all I say will be my opinion .  I also hope others will post also. 

 

Stop trying to get off the Respirdal.  Your brain and central nervous system are so sensitive right now

because of all the meds , going on and off.  It truly is no wonder you feel so badly right now.  You are going through some rough withdrawals. 

The post the moderator left you all the links for, those groups will probably be the best to help you.  They have experience in cold turkey and withdrawal.  Look over those threads and ask all the questions you need.  Everyone here will do all they can to help you.  You can get through this but it may be pretty rough for awhile .  Good luck, Mary 🍀

 

Thanks, Mary,  Actually I am still on Effexor, Trazadone, and respiradone.  The meds I cold turkeyed in the last year are Cymbalta and Valium.  I stopped tapering the respiradone two days ago but I still feel really awful.  I am just not healing at all.  It feels like my brain is damaged permanently.  I don’t know what to do.  I’m feeling like I can’t go on like this.

Thanks, Mary,  Actually I am still on Effexor, Trazadone, and respiradone.  The meds I cold turkeyed in the last year are Cymbalta and Valium.  I stopped tapering the respiradone two days ago but I still feel really awful.  I am just not healing at all.  It feels like my brain is damaged permanently.  I don’t know what to do.  I’m feeling like I can’t go on like this.

 

Hey Mojo, so when exactly did you Ct the Valium, the date or best guess? The Cymbalta was first to go?  Again, until you start feeling better, stop changing anything.  We need to get your brain and central nervous system stablized, that doesn't mean no symptoms, it means those symptoms you are having will become tolerable.  There is no fast way to do this.  Time, patience, and accepting this is a process, will get you there, then we can look at the last 3 drugs and see what to start tapering next.

You can do this!  Mary

 

 

My son has tapered risperdal - it alone is tough to get off, and doing it following C/T off the others makes it even tougher.  It is no wonder that you feel bad.

 

My son had to go off risperdal some years ago due to high prolactin on it.  (before his "benzo" years)  He tried going directly off risperdal, but it was very difficult. 

He crossed over to seroquel, and was able to taper the seroquel with less difficulty - though still had to go slowly to avoid symptoms.  Just FYI, it is estimated that 1mg of risperdal is equal to 75mg of seroguel (quitiapine).  Quitiapine comes in strengths as low as 25mg which can be cut in half.

 

info on switching from risperdal to seroquel can be found here

https://psychopharmacopeia.com/antipsychotic_conversion.php

 

If you direct taper from the risperdal, you can make a solution and make small cuts per week.  Don't go too fast - it takes a while for the dopamine receptors to re-set, just like GABA receptors in benzo withdrawal.  The biggest mistake people make coming off antipsychotics is to go too fast!  The 10% per cut rule is important for antipsychotics. 

 

I have read that antipsychotics can make benzo withdrawal feel worse - so maybe that is why you feel you are not getting any better. (Wikipedia - so not sure if its really accurate) ;  But even though you don't FEEL the healing yet from the benzos yet it is still happening - day by day.

 

I can say with certainty that  Abilfy, latuda, saphris, rexulti all recently made my sons benzo withdrawal worse for sure.  He was put on each of these while in withdrawal from valium, and got WAY worse with each one.    He has not been on risperdal at any time while on benzodiazepines, but I imagine it would be similar.  He was on Seroquel during benzo tapering,  and I can say for sure that it was not as bad as the others, and actually helped anxiety, sleep and agitation, during early benzo withdrawal but left him feeling sedated and blank minded - so he withdrew from that  and trying to stay off that now too.  But maybe it would be easier for you to withdraw from seroquel than risperdal ??  .Just a thought to discuss with your doc.    Or else just take it very SLOWLY off the risperdal if you choose to continue to taper off that at this time.

 

Your brain is NOT permanently damaged.  It's a chemical/receptor imbalance and it WILL rebalance and heal over time.

 

But I do agree with others that you need to stabilize first some before re-starting to taper anything again.  And then taper SLOWLY.

Ditto to what has been said. I would not try to taper anymore of the drugs for now. Wait and see if you can stabilize.