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Tomorow i have an appointment with psychiatrist


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Hi guys my depression is getting worse. After 2 years (26 months) off and i am worse. I am sure it is not all withdrawal, i made many mistakes during this process, but this is hell what i live now. Tomorrow will go to a psychiatrist. Back in 2003 one of them (psychiatrist) saved my life. My mental health is worse than ever. Cant stop crying, want to die just to stop this mental suffering. Obsessed with thinking about what i did to my brain. I am afraid, really afraid. Is this the end of my life?

Before 2 years i was a happy young beautiful woman with dreams for the future. Now i live in hell. Cant fake it anymore. I dont have power. I am exhausted. Tomorrow she will give me meds i will tell you what meds. I hope she will not give me antipsychotics and benzos, but i dont know. Dont know how to escape.

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After two years, it's very unlikely that withdrawal is NOT going on, it is. Benzo withdrawal will often hit at your most vulnerable place. It's brutal, it's cruel, it's healing. It's just what it is. It is painful and can feel unrelenting. I reinstated 4 times cause I couldn't take it (I didn't know it was withdrawal that I was going through). Psychiatrist are not familiar with withdrawal and so you will be told god knows what but what you take and what you do is up to you. Ask yourself this, if you knew that what you were going through was withdrawal and that withdrawal passes, would you take more drugs? It's an important question. If I had known, I definitely would not have. You have information I did not have. I'm not telling you what to do, no one can or should, it's your decision. Just consider that you've been off the "wheel" for some time now and are closer to recovery that anything else. Just consider these things, and then decide. Whatever you decide, you will find support here.
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Thank you Marina

I know BB collectively and individually want a good consultation and outcome for Yulitka

Dickie sending best wishes.

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Hello

I am so sorry you are feeling so low it is so hard I know because I suffer from depression too and have many days thinking I won't make it through the day, I am only 8 weeks post benzo so not as far ahead as you but I have had depression in the past. Also, we know from other peoples experiences that w/d can take a long long time and often hits you hard at any time but you have been benzo free for a long time it would be a shame to go back on them, most people say they regret it but you have to make that decision and BB's would offer you support whatever you decide.

 

You're quality of life is important.

 

Silly question but have you had any CBT ? I find this really helps, it is free on the NHS and you can get upto 20 sessions, it has been proven to help many issues, anxiety, depression, OCD, PTSD, Insomnia and many more, you have to work on it and do all the homework they give you but it really gets you thinking about things and triggers, it shows you a way out and how you can help yourself, if you haven't tried it maybe look into it I'm sure your psychiatrist would explain it better for you than I can!

 

Take care

 

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Yulitka, I'm sorry you're feeling so low. What you are going through is part of the process because learning to deal with our lows without resorting to meds is key to healing. Consider life changes, talk therapy, etc. You know that meds will eventually destroy your brain.

 

:smitten:

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My brain is screaming for help. No human being should endure such suffering. I am at that point where i dont know if it is day or night or what day from the week is.
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Sorry Yulitka, I can't offer you validation. I was started on psych meds to "survive" a very distressing work situation and now, a few years dow the line, I see that what I should have done was to change job instead of trying to cope. Suffering is part of human existence, I now see. What we need is to stop comparing ourselves with others and with what we thought we should be. Then, baby steps can slowly get us out of the hole.

 

This being said, I think psych med can help for VERY short periods in EXTREME situations (for me, these don't include job or marriage, only SERIOUS loss or health problems).

 

 

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Sorry Yulitka, I can't offer you validation. I was started on psych meds to "survive" a very distressing work situation and now, a few years dow the line, I see that what I should have done was to change job instead of trying to cope. Suffering is part of human existence, I now see. What we need is to stop comparing ourselves with others and with what we thought we should be. Then, baby steps can slowly get us out of the hole.

 

This being said, I think psych med can help for VERY short periods in EXTREME situations (for me, these don't include job or marriage, only loss or health problems).

 

Thank you! I appreciate it.

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I hope you feel better and in some cases I think people need meds. With that being said I would def. not go back on benzos or think anyone needs them.  As far as Ad I'm on a low dose of one and it has put a ton of weight on me leaving me much more depressed than before going on it. I would be 90% happier with my life in my old body. Being  that I'm in benzo w/d I have tried to come off and found it unbearable. I could not function at all. Now I'm stuck fat and in benzo w/d. I think with every med there are gonna be bad side effects and you have to outweigh your need for them and what the side effects will be. I think doctors are overprescribing and you have to do the research of how the med will effect you life down the road going on it because the doctors won't mention it.
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I hope you feel better and in some cases I think people need meds. With that being said I would def. not go back on benzos or think anyone needs them.  As far as Ad I'm on a low dose of one and it has put a ton of weight on me leaving me much more depressed than before going on it. I would be 90% happier with my life in my old body. Being  that I'm in benzo w/d I have tried to come off and found it unbearable. I could not function at all. Now I'm stuck fat and in benzo w/d. I think with every med there are gonna be bad side effects and you have to outweigh your need for them and what the side effects will be. I think doctors are overprescribing and you have to do the research of how the med will effect you life down the road going on it because the doctors won't mention it.

 

Thank you!

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