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Back to Normal!!!!!


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Hi,

 

Sorry if this is kind of rambling... but I am just typing what I am thinking...

I didn't post on this board too much...

 

BUT,

I had severe withdrawals from Lorazepam and was switched to Valium to taper... for 1.5 years.

I only took Lorazepam for 2 weeks before tapering off and at at first everything was going OK.

Then at about 3 weeks...all hell broke loose and did not stop for 2 1/2 years.

Every day through my taper was terrible.

 

I had never taken any drugs in my life  and did not know anything about the withdrawals from this.

I was in great health...  could run 10 miles several times a week... lift weights... very fit and active.

But it all came to a crashing halt.

 

Here are some of my symptoms.

Headache, dizzy, couldn't sleep more than 2 hours a night for over  2 years!!!

As soon as I would fall asleep,I would wake up in a panic attack...over and over.... this was absolutely terrible!

Many many days of zero sleep.

terrible depression, severe sensitivity to light and sound.... every tiny noise would send shock waves through my body.

Severe tinnitus, restless legs, I would wake up in a panic as soon as I would fall asleep.

Severe sensitivity to hot or cold,

night blindness...

Terrible debilitating fear!!!!

Couldn't drive in traffic.. couldn't go to the store.

I could barely walk to the end of the driveway.

My heart was beating on the wrong beats....

My teeth would not stop chattering for over 2 years.

I would wake up drenched in sweat.

My head felt lopsided.

Burning eyes and tongue

Could not handle ANY STRESS OF ANY KIND!!!

Lost 25 pounds

 

Then when I finally got done with my taper.... I was at about .001MG of Valium (a tiny tiny amount)… it really got much worse!!!

 

BUT after about 3 months of being totally off the Valium.... I started to get slowly...(VERY SLOWLY) better!

and I have been slowly improving since then..but it was very very tough.

 

I was on this site many many times a day... nothing else mattered to me..

I thought I was going to die many days.... and many days I was hoping I would die so it would end!

 

And I didn't want to come back here now that I am feeling good again!!!

That is why you may not hear too many success stories.

It was so bad that I want nothing to do with this site.... I don't even want to think about the whole experience.

 

Now I am about 99% better with just a few symptoms... some light sensitivity...tinnitus and when I get hungry... I feel very very shakey and bad.

I run...exercise... EVERYTHING!!!!

I am so much better... and thank GOD for every day!

It feels so very very good to be normal!!!!!

 

People that have not gone thru this have ZERO idea how bad it can be.

But I know how bad and debilitating it is.... and I know for a fact that you WILL get through this....it WILL end!

 

I thought it would NEVER end for me... but I was wrong!

THANK YOU GOD!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Yes took Lorazepam for 2 weeks and it said on the bottle to quit slowly … so I cut down slowly...  but after 3 weeks of cutting down from 1MG down to 1/3 MG....

this whole nightmare started.

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The most success stories are from people that use drug for not so long or that tapered off or were on a small dose. I am discouraged. I was on 20 mg equvalent of valium, i took it 6 years and i cold turkeyed also i tried different drugs. I will never recover. And i am happy for you that you are feeling normal i forget that sense i lost myself totally. I am happy for you.
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After you finally quit all the benzos..

DO NOT START AGAIN!!!!... DON"T DRINK ALCOHOL AT ALL!!!!

 

What seemed to help me was large doses of vitamin C and Magnesium... that helped me sleep...  and tart cherry juice.

Also something called Cortisol Health.... I took about 8000MG vitamin C and 600 MG Magnesium a day.... usually before bed.

But I am not telling anyone to do what I did.... that is just what worked for me.... and it only worked a little.... it helped.

 

During the withdrawals...my cortisol level was at the very top of the chart...almost off of the chart....that is why I could not sleep.

 

I probably will not post anymore..... I just want to move on!

 

Thanks for reading..... PRAISE GOD!!!!!!!!

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The first 3 months off were the worst.... then I kept slowly getting better after that.

Now I am 1 year and 8 months after stopping...and almost completely normal.

After about 6 months...i was feeling much better....but not great.

After about 9 Months off...much better ...driving, going out..etc.

Now I feel very good...sleeping very well....basically back to normal.....but I can get emotional and cry about things pretty easy....like in a sad movie or hearing a great song.... I was never like that before...but it's no problem!

 

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I think that you tapered unnecessary long. You downregulated your GABA much more during your taper than during your initial intake for 2 weeks. Anyway the important thing is that you feel good. This is amazing. This experience teaches you not to touch mind altering agents. Also you will teach others. It amazing.
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Terrible terrible FEAR... the likes of which I have never felt before!!!

And there was no way to make it stop.

The phone would ring and I would start crying in fear....

Something in my brain got messed up the drug.

 

I could barely move and sometimes had to have people help me walk.....

The fear was also physical...like waves of electricity going thru my body.

 

No one that has not had this could ever ever ever imagine how bad it can be.

 

But it is all gone now!

 

Thank GOD!!!!!

 

 

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Hey Yulitka83,

 

Yes... I agree with you.

After about 1 week on the drug... things started to change already.... it stopped working and I started to have

to up the dose...that is when I started looking on the Internet about it.

After about 2 weeks on it, I lost all my strength...and suddenly the outside light was too much to bear...like having your eyes permanently dilated….. it lasted for about 2 years...

 

I should of stopped way earlier.... the almost 2 years of tapering almost certainly made it much worse!

But I was already in such a mess after the 2 weeks, I thought is was going to get worse if I speeded it up!

 

Anyway..... I made it thru.... and now I know how terribly debilitating the withdrawals can be...

NO ONE that has not gone thru this had any idea at all how bad it can be!!!!

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I am just going to post one more thing and then that's it....

 

WHY IN THE HELL IS THIS NOT BEING PUBLICIZIED ON TV?  All I ever hear about is opioid addiction.

In my opinion...(not to make light of opioid withdrawal) the withdrawal from opioids is a walk in the park compared to the years of intense suffering that benzo withdrawal can cause.

And it seems to be completely swept under the rug!!!!

WHY DO THE DOCTORS KEEP SAYING THERE IS NO WITHDRAWAL SYMPTOMS FROM THIS?

I JUST DON'T GET IT.

 

Well.. that's it.... good luck everyone!

If I can finally feel good again....you will too.

 

 

 

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