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Need encouragement about physical appearance


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I watched a video of this kind fellow who is assisting protracted withdrawal sufferers and giving much support.

I appreciated this, as he listed dozens of symptoms on his site that many of us or even most of us are dealing with.

However, he did say that whilst in some if the worst waves he would encounter, that he would go to his bathroom mirror, splash water in his face and then look at himself and say "you're okay because you don't look any different"

Well, it was a little difficult for me to see this, because I look soo different now. I look so sickly, I wonder if have seen meth addicts who look better.

I don't remember the name of this guy, my brain has such difficulty with all of the fog n I really do appreciate his contribution. So much information.. and any contribution from a healed benzo sufferer is welcome right? 

I just feel as though I look as terrible as I feel right now and it  seems just about as bad for me as all of the fog and physical pain.

Anyone who is experiencing this level of loss in their physical appearance, at about the same level as well as all of the other symptoms are welcome to respond. Need some encouragement that we can recover.. in all ways.. from this.

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I have aged 20 years in the last year and a half, I look haggered, my eyes are sunken and ringed in red, all my muscles atrophied and my hair has turned to grey wire woll and I am goi g bald on the front and top of my head.
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Madeline,

 

I have aged.  Wrinkles, sunken eyes with deep dark circles, hair loss, muscles gone, I don’t recognize my hands or face.  This was in the first month CT, two months later I’m worse.  I avoid the mirror!

 

It is temporary.  We are healing.

 

Hugs, SaraSue  :smitten:

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I thought I looked much more tired but in reality I think I look the same. No weight gain. etc. I think d/p and d/r probably makes us think we look worse than we do because we don't feel great.

 

I went to a big birthday party and everyone said how good I looked. And not in a BS kind of way. I have found that exercise and running while I taper has helped me a lot. I didn't think I could face the treadmill in the middle of my taper but now that I am at the end of my taper I have forced myself to run and always feel better after. That and stretches and push ups and weights - I taper up my workouts and do a little bit more every day.

 

The broken sleep is the biggest bummer looks-wise because it does make me look tired but not much I can do about that until I am done with my taper and start to truly heal.

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Thanks for the kind responses :)

I guess we all are going through this differently and at our own pace.

My body and mind are so harranged right now at 9 months off of a self prescribed 2 month taper from Clonazepam. (Yikes!) that I have literally wished my soul could just leap out of this, myself today. I am not religious but I do pray.. hoping, believing that there could be a higher power in the universe, and I choose to believe that there are angels

So I prayed to them as I took a long walk..

I wish that I could actually feel this spring day.. but I smell blossoms and I remember what the beginnings of a day like this has felt like. (bittersweet to me now) Ironically, I can still walk, even long distances, through all of these symptoms.  Feet do move forward carrying this now 95 lb wrangled frame, while I'm in the midst of feeling like a bug in a zapper!

All in all.. I truly feel the intrusive thoughts are worse than than all of this other stuff, however in that they flood into my psyche every moment with regrets and fears about seemingly every aspect of my entire life!

 

Prayers and gratitude for you all.  :angel:

 

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One of the neighbors saw me for the first time in six months or so. He asked, "Is your health okay?" English is his second language, and I think he meant, "Boy do you look rough."

 

Yes. This has had an impact on my appearance. I've lost quite a bit of weight. Like others I've lost muscle tone. My hair is very dry now.

 

On the plus side, I've seen some improvement over the last couple of weeks. The sudden wrinkles on my neck and from the corners of my mouth are less deep. My legs have firmed up some with a few modest walks.

 

My guess and hope is that when the tension of the taper and w/d are over that I'll look healthier and more relaxed. That is something that I wish for all of us along with feeling and sleeping better.

 

You are not alone.

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Lilyann - your appearance will improve, trust me. And i do think we believe we look worse than we actually do. Sure, we might not look our best but it will all come back for ALL of us.

 

Walking is great. I read so many people talking about muscle wasting that I started doing push ups every day. I can now do 50. (I used to do 100 a day). Anything you can so will help, trust me. Exercise (don't overdue it of course) will help heal the brain and body.

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Thanks SoberHope - I started walking a couple of weeks ago. There is a loop I make that has a lot of different spring flowers that I watch and even take pictures of as the days bring out new blooms. The walk is twenty minutes. The last three or four days I've taken two walks during the day.

 

I hope you're right that I don't look as bad as I think I do. I appreciate you saying that, and I'll just keep telling myself that as I walk and check out those flowers.

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The walk sound beautiful Lilyann and great that you are doing it twice a day...I find that if I taper up my workouts (I probably overuse the word "taper" now, ugh) it helps. And if I feel blah, I do as much as I can handle. one day I ran like I used to...we can handle more than we think.

 

And I bet you look so much better than you think. I asked my best friend who is always honest and he said I looked "the same" - so much of this is in our heads - benzo lies.

 

And we will look better and better as we taper and then get off these meds!

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Well in withdrawal I looked like a zombie. With every year since I am totally med-free I look better. I remember my dark circles around the eyes - they are hardly seen right now. Its an exhausting road to walk a withdrawal. Of course you will not look like a supermodel while doing that.

After you got rid of the poison your body can get profit of a healthy diet and recovers slowly.

Be kind to yourself - just get your taper done.

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I thought I looked ten years older than my age while still tapering benzos. After I'd been off for a year, people started telling me I looked younger than my age. I do think I look better in more recent pictures compared to ones from several years ago. Plus I've lost twenty pounds (I gained 50lbs while on multiple psych meds, including benzos). So your appearance does get better once you're off.
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Be kind to yourself.  You are going through a difficult period.  I’m sure you don’t look as bad as you think you do.  You will feel and look better soon!

 

Hugs, SaraSue  :smitten:

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There are good excuses which normal people would normally "buy". I always told people I had been on to many parties, doing a netflix binge session the hole night long, writing books at night or just that I am tired of life (most people react with a smile then).

 

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Oh yes, hair loss. I have experienced it as well. It began a few months into withdrawal. I'm convinced it's due to withdrawal.
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Oh yes, hair loss. I have experienced it as well. It began a few months into withdrawal. I'm convinced it's due to withdrawal.

 

Yes, it seems to be common but it changes after!

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Oh my gosh. I'm 3 months off and a few weeks ago I felt like the worst looking person in the world. It looked like I had aged 20 years. I had huge dark circles. I went into a mall and I was so depressed after looking in the mirrors. Now I'm starting to look much better and went into a store like a week ago and I must say I looked great in the mirror. lol. Well for me. I'm starting to come back. Really going thru this has made me appreciate the body and mind I had before this so much more so as I get better I can only be thankful.
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Day 3rd of my withdrawal I looked in the mirror and i could see a Zombie. I looked like a drug addict. Black and horror filled eyes. I went to market and everyone seemed to be staring at me. Hard time I remember. Than I took melatonin and finally some sleep otherwise I was not even close to be a human.

It gradually improved. Get some good sleep. It makes u fresh and looking good.

Prayers for you! :smitten:

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A soldier going through war should not bother with looks. When the soldier is finally home and the war is over, then you can celebrate and shine like never before.
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Can I join this club?

I also look like a zombie, yellow-green on my face. My hair has grown like weed, bigger and bigger. So maybe "mohawk?"

Send pictures without my face? "Yes, it's normal in Sweden".

 

Since I was a dancer, exercises every day. But now, my belly is not beautiful. But it is probably inactivity, and life on the couch, that is the truth.

I am really looking forward, to start exercising again and get good fitness. Now it's down to zero.

 

But I try to laugh at the misery. And it will probably be better in the future. Maybe....

 

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translator 100: I started to exercise again and it's helped me so much. I was so phobic of going back to the gym but I have been able to up my workout every day: running, push ups etc...

 

Even if you can go on long walks, it WILL help - it has totally improved my symptoms and I also look more like I used to.

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