Hyper-awareness thinking/rumination

Hi Everyone,

 

I just wanted to know who here suffers from hyperawareness of thinking OCD.  Where you keep "checking-in" to your mind and what you are thinking about.  All thoughts seemed amplified and "loud".  Along with ruminations, intrusive thoughts/memories, and looping.

 

If you have it now please leave a comment.  If you had it before and it went away or it comes and goes please leave a comment. 

 

I'm just trying to find some hope that this symptom will go away and I haven't unlocked some OCD from the trauma of this experience.

 

Any input would be appreciated.

 

Thanks

Have this all the time. You dont unlock OCD. It will pas soon.

I have in now (not as bad as months 1-3).  End of month 4, post CT.

Yulitka83 and Sarasue

 

What exactly do you have all the time?  The hyperawareness?

Hyper-aware of everything.  OCD like, I call it hypervigilence of thoughts and surroundings.

 

SaraSue 

I have all the time and it's by far the No. 1 most bothering symptom I suffer from.

 

I have started many threads about it here on benzobuddies, lately 2 threads titled

 

- can't let go of thoughts

 

- over processing thoughts in my head

 

If you'd like to take a look at them!

 

 

Had all of it. Its gone now.

In stressful situations intrusive thoughts may come back, but I dont get afraid then and just focus on other stuff or let them co-exist..

 

You are so early in wd - this takes time...

Me, too. Had all of this and do not have it now.

The correct term IS hypervigilance. And I had it very very badly. I was constantly afraid, terrified, in fact, for over a year. This was my worst symptom. I was scared of every single thing around me. My own cats scared me, for God's sake. FOOD scared me.

This stuff passes. Truly it does go away in time. All you have to do is try to figure out ways to deal with your symptoms in a healthy sort of way (not reaching for yet another pill). Just keep on going and hopefully soon you will start to heal from this. I firmly believe that everyone heals from benzos but some of us just take more time to do so.

east

Kornyboyo1917 Yes. I'm off benzos for about the same amount as time as you and this feeling is terrible.

Thanks for the replies, everyone.  I know I am early in this but the fact that I keep getting worse is never a good sign.  Especially since this is my 4th time coming off benzos (first time with withdrawal)

 

East,  this is a lot different from hypervigilance.  I've had hypervigilance for 9 years with my generalized anxiety disorder.  This is a form of sensorimotor OCD where instead of directing your attention to your breathing/blinking etc you direct your attention to your thoughts. You feel trapped in your mind all the time.

 

I really hope I can find the strength in myself to push through the next 4 years or so.  Seems like most people who have kindled and gone cold turkey seem to take a while longer than those who have tapered.

 

 

This is my worst symptom too!  Just finished my taper, I can't stand the over and over thoughts about how I've screwed everything up in my life.  When will it go away?

give it some months. Even a cell needs 3 times to recover

Thanks for the replies, everyone.  I know I am early in this but the fact that I keep getting worse is never a good sign.  Especially since this is my 4th time coming off benzos (first time with withdrawal)

 

East,  this is a lot different from hypervigilance.  I've had hypervigilance for 9 years with my generalized anxiety disorder.  This is a form of sensorimotor OCD where instead of directing your attention to your breathing/blinking etc you direct your attention to your thoughts. You feel trapped in your mind all the time.

 

I really hope I can find the strength in myself to push through the next 4 years or so.  Seems like most people who have kindled and gone cold turkey seem to take a while longer than those who have tapered.

 

No matter what you call this, it WILL fade away. What I personally experienced was hypervigilance but to the "Nth degree." SO bad I actually walked with my butt all tucked in and only taking tiny steps due to my intense fear.

Comparing yourself to others is a huge waste of time and will only add to your concerns. We all heal differently, but the end result if we all do heal. At least, I truly believe this until more research (legit research) is done. If anyone should have had a horribly long protracted WD, it should have been me. My enormous history of using and abusing benzos - truly - is horrifying that I managed to live through it. AND being forced to go CT. Not an ideal situation.

Korny, just focus on you, and how YOU feel. Work on being distracted, work on staying sort of active even if its only walks around your home.

You cannot predict how long you will feel this way. No one can. You are you and I am I and both of us heal in probably different ways and time frames.

ZZI am rooting for you! I want you to succeed.