How can this be?

I’m truly shaken to my core  how was I able to taper from 20 MGS of V to 7 and have my

World flipped upside down?

 

I went from being very functional and out and about to housebound just like that!

 

This wave or whatever had happened has  lasted 16 days straight.

 

Started with night sweats, I started thinking it was hormones

It escalated into full blown panic attacks, inner agitation, depression,  fear - terror...no appetite ( lost 10 lbs)

And hardly any sleep - being jolted awake at night every night...can’t fall back to sleep

 

I’m scared to death to taper anymore, not sure I can handle this

What if it gets worse?

 

Sheer terror/torture

Sorry it’s gone horrid, could you say at what pace you have been tapering please?

Thanks

Dickie

It’s in my signature - I think I was under 10% until the last 2 cuts

Not sure if I cut by .02 .2 I’m bad at math

But it went like this ( weekly) and then every 10 days

20 hold 7 days

19. Hold 7 days

 

19.6 hold 7 days

19.4 hold 7 days

19.2 hold 7 days

19 & so on until I hit 5.8 ( now back to 7 ) I hope that’s makes sense Sorry

Sorry

20 MGS 1 ML hold 7 days

19.8 MGS .99 mls “””””

19.6.        .98 mls

19.4.        .97 mls

19.2.        .96 mls

19.          .95

 

And so on until

5.8 MG    .29 Mls

Thanks, you have been going at a nice steady pace.

Are you on twice a day or more often.? Seems a bit unfair to have so many symptoms.

I guess you are fearful of the next cut.  As you tremble your brain is actually healing so don’t despair.

Others have found below ten quite difficult and have advocated only 5% cut every two weeks, I know that’s what I would do but I can’t advise you of course.

Be proud of what you’ve achieved— being self soothing can be hard.

Dick. My next cut in 4 days and am anxious about it already!, and have ibuprofen to hand as I think it helps me though it may be a placebo @))

 

Thanks, unfair is an understatement... I mean 16 days of torture is making me Re think

Very hard about my next plan.

 

 

Thank you for being so kind and responding, kind of hard to engage/navigate this site

Mom,

 

I was not functional for 5 weeks following my CT.  Horror of my life!!

 

SaraSue 

 

 

Isn’t that pretty normal for a CT? No disrespect

Just confused bc I’m tapering & being so cautious about “everything”

 

It feels like I made a massively cut or something?

 

Idk I’m not sure what went wrong or why or if it’ll get better/worse

 

 

I’m sorry about your CT

Everything you mention is normal when someone goes off benzos by any means. Taper or CT. Many people feel jusdt as you do and it truly is scary.

Tapers were formulated by Dr Ashton on the theory that it might prevent serious wd symptoms such as seizures. I have been on BB for almost 7 years and never once heard of anyone having a seizure. From what I know, they are more likely to happen if the person was drinking a lot or took street drugs along with benzos. Ashton suggested long tapers. I personally think they are WAY to long, Because you will not truly begin to heal until you are totally OFF benzos. Once you are completely off, you will start the true healing phase. And it may not feel great or good but I can tell you it is worth the struggle.

I know this stuff is confusing as heck. There is still so much we do not know about benzos. And the drug companies are suppressing the entire truth, I think.

Just keep on going, my friends. Things do get better.

Hi Mom2

 

So Sorry you’re going through that. Are you using a spreadsheet? Some say not to go more than 10% of the current months dose. Some say not to go faster than 5% halfway through the taper, or at least 80% through the taper, they slow down to 5% per month.

 

Have you considered doing daily micro taper rather than cut and hold every seven days?

Some say that’s easier on the body.  I am planning to start my taper soon in this fashion.

 

  I found this to be an informative resource. it explains about the 80/20 smart taper plan.

https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/1148/7784/files/8020_SMART_TAPER_EXCERPT.pdf

 

I agree with what eastcoast said. Healing really starts once you are off these drugs. It is scary as hell and excruciatingly painful for a lot of us.

 

It escalated into full blown panic attacks, inner agitation, depression,  fear - terror...no appetite ( lost 10 lbs)

And hardly any sleep - being jolted awake at night every night...can’t fall back to sleep

 

same here Mom2.....these bizarre sx's are really distressing. They make you feel like sometimes you are terminally ill.

 

 

 

Thank you everyone who replied, I don’t know know how to reply to each person.

 

Yes I’m sure there is no rhyme or reason for any of this, So while I catch my breath and

Wrap my head around everything.

 

I’ll also slow this down moving forward.

 

Thanks again, and Happy Easter

If it is true and I believe East coast that healing goes better off the meds you can see why I am struggling.

I am cutting at a steady 14% and on Diaz day ten.  Allowing for previous occasional prn snatches for pills I may even be reducing at 20% now.

I know it’s too fast but as a poly user I had hoped the others would avoid this head buzz nausea gut ache an muscle pain.

I need psychologically to be free of these meds to wave two fingers at the now disgraced psych who put me on them 4 years ago in this higher dose. It’s not hatred but dismay I think. You can’t hate it burns you up I think.

Dickie 

If it is true and I believe East coast that healing goes better off the meds you can see why I am struggling.

I am cutting at a steady 14% and on Diaz day ten.  Allowing for previous occasional prn snatches for pills I may even be reducing at 20% now.

I know it’s too fast but as a poly user I had hoped the others would avoid this head buzz nausea gut ache an muscle pain.

I need psychologically to be free of these meds to wave two fingers at the now disgraced psych who put me on them 4 years ago in this higher dose. It’s not hatred but dismay I think. You can’t hate it burns you up I think.

Dickie

I know it’s hard and I hope your struggles get easier, I also used to have that against Drs but I’ve let that go. I just want to be off 

Hi Mom2

 

So Sorry you’re going through that. Are you using a spreadsheet? Some say not to go more than 10% of the current months dose. Some say not to go faster than 5% halfway through the taper, or at least 80% through the taper, they slow down to 5% per month.

 

Have you considered doing daily micro taper rather than cut and hold every seven days?

Some say that’s easier on the body.  I am planning to start my taper soon in this fashion.

 

  I found this to be an informative resource. it explains about the 80/20 smart taper plan.

https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/1148/7784/files/8020_SMART_TAPER_EXCERPT.pdf

Thank you so much for replying & sharing this with me, I’m using a compound from a pharmacy. If my Dr. Changes it to 2 MG/Ml my percentage reductions should be much lower and I’m hoping that’s going to make it better, wishing you all the best in you’re journey ❤️

Everything you mention is normal when someone goes off benzos by any means. Taper or CT. Many people feel jusdt as you do and it truly is scary.

Tapers were formulated by Dr Ashton on the theory that it might prevent serious wd symptoms such as seizures. I have been on BB for almost 7 years and never once heard of anyone having a seizure. From what I know, they are more likely to happen if the person was drinking a lot or took street drugs along with benzos. Ashton suggested long tapers. I personally think they are WAY to long, Because you will not truly begin to heal until you are totally OFF benzos. Once you are completely off, you will start the true healing phase. And it may not feel great or good but I can tell you it is worth the struggle.

I know this stuff is confusing as heck. There is still so much we do not know about benzos. And the drug companies are suppressing the entire truth, I think.

Just keep on going, my friends. Things do get better.

Thank you for your input

How are you doing now?

HI Mom2

 

The same thing happened to me.  I went from 2mg of xanax and slowly tapered down to 1.0 uneventfully. When I made my next cut  below 1.0 my body freaked out.  That was 20 days ago.  Since then I have switched over the valium which isn't going great but I wanted to do it so I could taper more slowly.  I can't advise you in any way but I can tell you that you are not alone and I totally feel your pain.  I am a shaky mess and barely functioning.

 

Be strong!  you can do this!

Hugs

HI Mom2

 

The same thing happened to me.  I went from 2mg of xanax and slowly tapered down to 1.0 uneventfully. When I made my next cut  below 1.0 my body freaked out.  That was 20 days ago.  Since then I have switched over the valium which isn't going great but I wanted to do it so I could taper more slowly.  I can't advise you in any way but I can tell you that you are not alone and I totally feel your pain.  I am a shaky mess and barely functioning.

 

Be strong!  you can do this!

Hugs

much better since I went back to 7, I’ve been tapering non stop for 19 months my body and mind need a “BReak” I’ll resume soon at a lower pace and potency.

 

Thanks for asking ♥️

HI Mom2

 

The same thing happened to me.  I went from 2mg of xanax and slowly tapered down to 1.0 uneventfully. When I made my next cut  below 1.0 my body freaked out.  That was 20 days ago.  Since then I have switched over the valium which isn't going great but I wanted to do it so I could taper more slowly.  I can't advise you in any way but I can tell you that you are not alone and I totally feel your pain.  I am a shaky mess and barely functioning.

 

Be strong!  you can do this!

Hugs

oops seems I replied to you thinking it was *Eastcoast* hang in there Xanax was my evil much worse than Valium... give it some time to build up and taper slow. You can do this ♥️

Mom2,

Curious. I’m learning.  Is what you’re doing considered re-enstatement or up-dose? How did you slowly cross over to vallium? Was it gradual increase vallium while gradualy decrease Xanax as per ashton and your dr agreed? I read that crossing over can take a number of weeks - or mths?

I’m truly shaken to my core  how was I able to taper from 20 MGS of V to 7 and have my

World flipped upside down?

 

I went from being very functional and out and about to housebound just like that!

 

This wave or whatever had happened has  lasted 16 days straight.

 

Started with night sweats, I started thinking it was hormones

It escalated into full blown panic attacks, inner agitation, depression,  fear - terror...no appetite ( lost 10 lbs)

And hardly any sleep - being jolted awake at night every night...can’t fall back to sleep

 

I’m scared to death to taper anymore, not sure I can handle this

What if it gets worse?

 

Sheer terror/torture

It does seem like normal withdrawal. 

My worse wave took 8 weeks to calm down the symptoms during which time I took Buspar to help reduce the symptoms.

But I can tell you, the waves and windows are real.  Just hang in there for your next window.

 

Mom2,

Curious. I’m learning.  Is what you’re doing considered re-enstatement or up-dose? How did you slowly cross over to vallium? Was it gradual increase vallium while gradualy decrease Xanax as per ashton and your dr agreed? I read that crossing over can take a number of weeks - or mths?

I'm not sure wha5 one would call it ? To me it was rescuing myself.

I CT myself off Xanax not knowing & quickly found a Dr who have me 1 mg K then I found the Ashton manual and found another to c/o to valium - i started on 20 I don’t think I used both to c/o I just knew K wasn’t for me it Habsburg me awful physical pain.

Mom2,

Curious. I’m learning.  Is what you’re doing considered re-enstatement or up-dose? How did you slowly cross over to vallium? Was it gradual increase vallium while gradualy decrease Xanax as per ashton and your dr agreed? I read that crossing over can take a number of weeks - or mths?

I'm not sure wha5 one would call it ? To me it was rescuing myself.

I CT myself off Xanax not knowing & quickly found a Dr who have me 1 mg K then I found the Ashton manual and found another to c/o to valium - i started on 20 I don’t think I used both to c/o I just knew K wasn’t for me it Habsburg me awful physical pain.

oh Lord my spelling is awful I hope you can read it lol 😝

I’m truly shaken to my core  how was I able to taper from 20 MGS of V to 7 and have my

World flipped upside down?

 

I went from being very functional and out and about to housebound just like that!

 

This wave or whatever had happened has  lasted 16 days straight.

 

Started with night sweats, I started thinking it was hormones

It escalated into full blown panic attacks, inner agitation, depression,  fear - terror...no appetite ( lost 10 lbs)

And hardly any sleep - being jolted awake at night every night...can’t fall back to sleep

 

I’m scared to death to taper anymore, not sure I can handle this

What if it gets worse?

 

Sheer terror/torture

It does seem like normal withdrawal. 

My worse wave took 8 weeks to calm down the symptoms during which time I took Buspar to help reduce the symptoms.

But I can tell you, the waves and windows are real.  Just hang in there for your next window.

Thank you but I’ve already up dosed by 1.2 MGS of valium - hoping to have my compound lowered from 10 mg/ml as my body can not handle those reductions anymore