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One thing I've learned through all of this is ...


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Please chime in with critical life lessons you've learned during your benzo experience.  It doesn't matter where you are along the process.  This is for anyone who's been affected by benzos.

 

 

One thing I've learned through all of this is ...

 

... to trust myself always and never let anyone define my experience especially when I'm hurting and vulnerable.  I am the expert when it comes to me.

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  • 1 month later...
Sympathy and compassion aren't based on the needs of the person who is suffering, they are based on the ability of the other party to understand or relate to the condition.
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That the human psyche is deeply complex, and that I feel there are an incredibly few, truly brilliant psychologists or psychiatrists who have ever lived over the entire course of history... and even they have inklings alone and no true and thorough knowledge or wisdom in this area.

 

I am not trusting or putting the safety and well-being of my own (psyche) into the hands of another aimless child with a degree, ever again. Better off turning on the Simpsons and getting advice from them.

 

Robert Firestone has some interesting ideas. Like real stuff, for messed up psyches—answers we need about life and the relationships we have, not pills... (in the actual study in the field, not pop psychology.) And yes, ok with CBT and all this—of course—but the real questions of life.

 

Eugene T. Gendlin is one who knew something about it, and I challenge anyone to find any better ideas about therapy than he had. “Felt sense” makes sense.

 

Dr. Robert Firestone (through PsychAlive on YouTube)

 

Eugene T Gendlin (YouTube) An Example of Working with the implicit

 

Gendlin wrote “Focusing,” an invaluable resource in my opinion. I like the audio version, he reads.

 

These two stood out, but I have found other people and ideas in the realm of psychology—a list in progress. Maybe an idea for another thread to gather ideas specific to a relevant topic.

 

I feel really grouchy about it, sorry! Just seems like psychology has plenty of room

for improvement...  ::) and I wish the term “professional” meant something when it came to who handles human souls (their hearts and minds) and how they do that, but it does not—it means nothing. This all seems important to me.

 

___

 

 

I really wanted to share this last thing about the field of therapy, this man explains why he quit his work:

 

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...to never, ever go back on benzos no matter what happens, how stressful it is, or how dire.  I've already passed that "test" 4 years ago when I had to have a major operation (my first ever).  So, at 7 years off and three withdrawals total, I've finally learned that lesson.

 

:smitten:

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Great topic, seltzerer.  :thumbsup:

 

One thing I've learned through all of this is that escaping is not coping.

 

Gwinna

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  • 2 weeks later...
That health has to be the most important thing in life. And this means, you have to put yourself first and that is nothing bad. It is essential.
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Amazing friends are so important. We listen to each other, comfort and support. Finding someone, where you focus just as much on each other, mean so much. And laugh.

 

  :'( .      :hug:      :mybuddy:      :laugh:   

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Take charge of your health, it's your body after all.

 

Live each moment and find things to appreciate about every day.

 

As humans, we are built to 'feel'. Allow the normal human feelings of sadness, happiness and everything in between be there. 

 

As Megan said, for myself, benzos are not necessary even for surgery (and I've had more than a few).

 

pianogirl  :smitten:

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to find the peace and joy in every moment.

 

that bad feelings is part of the human experience and it's ok to have them and to sit with them for a while.

 

patience.

 

to trust my own intuition.

 

to be resilient and self-reliant.

 

to speak up for myself and no longer be a people pleaser.

 

to live a healthy lifestyle.

 

that you never know what anyone else is going thru so don't take it personally.

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Thought-provoking thread & inspiring posts - thanks!

 

...that it's OK/brave to be vulnerable. That we can sit with more grief and pain than we ever believed possible, and we can survive it... That feeling the 'bad', scary stuff is a vital step in releasing it once and for all, and in the healing process. 

 

...that health/wellness, love, authenticity and true inner peace are life's greatest treasures - and worth fighting for, no matter what. That the 'little things' can keep us going when we think we're done for.  To cherish the few who believe in me and stand by me, when so many have disappeared.

 

...that every moment is precious.

 

...humility.

 

...to be true to myself - that self-care is the way to wholeness. To take full responsibility for rebuilding my health and life. Never to give up my sovereignty again. I really like how the OP put it: 'to trust myself always and never let anyone define my experience...  I am the expert when it comes to me.'

 

...and for me, personally, I intend never to touch a medical or an OTC drug again (unless in a life-threatening situation, with no other options).

 

Wildflower

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Wilflower mentioned this:  HUMILITY.  This brought me to my knees.  You bet it can happen to me.  I am human with every weakness imaginable...but also every strength.  My body's strength and resilience took me by surprise.  The human body is going to do everything it can to heal.  I am humbled by the whole process.
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Smile and the world laughs with you,

Cry and you cry alone.

 

I admit I am bitter-- no friends, no family, isolated and pretty hopeless.

We'll see how this all winds up. 

 

Without your health you have nothing.  And no friends/family/community--  not much reason to keep at it.  And to be brought to your knees like this is just amazing fall.

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  • 2 months later...

Great thread!

 

Wildflower: Whew "...humility" and "Never to give up my sovereignty again". That hit me. Though I am only a short-termer, this whole experience has brought me to the most humbling place. At times I wonder when will I be that strong, proud, independent, hardworking "always on it!" woman again. But I am reminded by family, friends and faith, that after a test, there's a testimony. After the testimony is triumph! And we will triumph!

 

What I am learning through all of this is that, while I may not feel it or see it now, I am all stronger than I could EVER fathom. To go through all of this and endure - day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute - a feat many can not even conceive.

 

I need more positive threads like this! Thanks Seltzerer.

 

Dani B

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I learned that my body is ALWAYS right.

 

If I feel unwell, if I feel not good, its not a mental illness, its not that I do not fit to others or into an environment. Its my wise body, telling me it knows better and all I need is to trust it and follow.

 

And then I get so many beautiful gifts and emotions and finally feel stronger and more me and free.

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I learned Patience, and more Patience...Acceptance of things I could not change, but did change when I stopped worrying. That Time was my friend. Being Grateful for something each day, no matter what was happening in my life, the good or bad. 💖Peace and Healing.
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I have learned to accept things for what they are and understand I can not change them; that patience is pertinent to healing; to not trust so blindly and research everything that goes on pertaining my health; that bad things happen to good people - no one is immune; that true friends and family will always be by my side; that the things I took so seriously before are not worth the worries I so highly assigned to them; that I am stronger than I thought I was; that there is always some positive to be found when I feel so engulfed in negativity; that I should be thankful each and every day; that I have found even deeper love and friendship with my husband who has been my light when all I could see was darkness; that each day, no matter how hard, is a day of living.❤
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[f7...]
I have learned to give up my ideas that i can control things, and that being protracted is actually liberating because I'm no longer watching and counting the months til healing. It is what it is for as long as it takes.
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One thing I've really learned is that pharma pills are much too strong for me and that I need to weigh very carefully what I put in my mouth, because pharma pills can last a very long time in the body. Due diligence.
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