Existential Questioning

Hi guys,

 

I am just wondering if anyone else has experienced this/felt this before going through their withdrawal. Ever since I tapered dow/ my withdrawal stopped I have been asking myself questions like "why do humans walk, why do we drive" or other really bizarre questions like that or "why do we live, why do we eat what we eat" or other existential weird questions that question humanity... does anyone else experience this and do these thoughts go away. I have never asked questions like this otherwise and its terrifying me as I feel like i am acting ass if I am an alien in life. I question why everything is the way it is around me. And i look at people as if they are foreign to me.. or "aliens" (they look like humans but its like i am analyzing them and my surroundings). If anyone else experiences this please let me know. Im on two weeks off of benzo's and the withdrawal has not been easy for me at all (not that it should be) but i am really wondering if questions like this are normal to ask when going through a withdrawal or if anyone else has experienced this.

 

Any help would be great !

Yes I had this big time, it lessened to some degree but these are my main obsessions.

I think it’s part of the dr/dp thing, perception is altered (alien feel, nothing looks right) and the thoughts it provokes are existential.

I doesn’t give me the same anxiety response as in the beginning (am 7 months out) but it’s still there unfortunately.

Would love to hear from buddies who healed from this 

And hope it’ll clear for you soon.

 

Don't be afraid of it soccergirl. 💕

 

It doesn't remain as intense as you might be feeling it now, and when this happens it can be very interesting to reflect upon, and you will be stronger for it. 

 

I had all of what you describe, and have read others say same.

 

On one occasion, when walking to the shops, everyone around me looked as if they were dead.  The walking dead.  It was weird, but for some reason it didn't frighten me.  It was as if I were a casual observer.  Observing existence, non existence, somehow. 

 

I do think it is connected to DP/DR, perception, as amuseum says. 

 

It will settle soccergirl.

 

Dee

i wish i could accept these thoughts but they terrify me more than anything. I keep on scanning my surroundings and questioning everything in existence.. and checking with myself. Do these thoughts eventually subside as the withdrawal goes?

YES they subside and you described it perfectly! I recall those exact questions and analyzing the "fake" world but my memory of it had faded such that I almost forgot. IT goes away... whatever IT is. Just bizarre.  5-5-7 breath during those times and redirecting thoughts to a physical activity that allows you to use mindfulness.  EX; I used yarn on a rod and wrapped it around different way creating different patterns... Sounds lame but it helped immensely.  Don used to try to straighten a copper wire manually.  Find something that works for you... it grounds you back to reality if you accept the activity and not judge how lame it may seem.

It does go away soccergirl.

 

I should not have been so explicit in my post, stupidly just posted of my experience without thinking it through properly.  I hope I did not frighten you, the very last thing I would want. 

 

Just wanted to assure you that it does go away.  It does settle with time.  Distract as Leslie suggests, and keep assuring yourself  that it will abate, because it will.

 

I'm so sorry for being so explicit in my post soccergirl.  It was stupid of me. 

 

The fear subsides soccergirl.  The scanning and questioning of your surroundings will also subside.  They really will.  I can tell you this from my own experience.

 

Dee

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Totally, as creative dude I already pondered life, existence, the universe, mortality, and then this withdrawal blasted me into a place even i had never gone. ive had terrifyingly vivid thoughts on some things, especially as all this hit me right through my mid life crisis years. i feel like ive had a supercharged midlife crisis, which really is pondering all this and looking at the full span of your existence.

 

id like a break from my own mind lol. it HAS dimmed somewhat, these intensely deep perspectives, and its a relief when it does, when i feel like just a "normal" dude and im worried about if my Mets can hold the division lead rather than fearing the infinite unknowns of life and the universe....

soccergirl - I want to thank you for starting this thread.  I don't see many people talking about this.

 

And especially thanks to Luke because you are describing exactly what it was/is for me in just a few words.  I'm like you in a way...pondering life's bigger questions.  And yeah, the benzos really messed with my head that way.  But I had so many other physical sx that it seemed sort of 'background' but also big at the same time.  The worst of it was when I would wake up from sleep and then they lingered for a couple hours.  The thoughts always made me feel very vulnerable and disconnected.  It can be really creepy.  And terrifying, to say the least.

 

It's definitely lessening as the weeks go by since I jumped late January.  Benzos are a liar in so, so many ways.  Guess it gets back to how I have to accept everything as a normal part of recovery.  You're not alone, soccergirl.

its normal. I had it also.

 

Brain is unbalanced so weird questions pop in your head. If the brain is balanced these questions don't appear. They are questions for which you know the answer already.

 

Humans walk because they have legs. But the question keep coming to your brain and it feels you don't know the answer.

I had/have it also.  End of month 4 CT and it is easing up some.  WD is painfully odd.

 

SaraSue 

 

 

I was thinking i am the only one have that thoughts ... It turns out it is a withdrawal symptom with the difference i don't get afraid from them even i go into a deep analysis on a simple things and its kind of interesting

I love this post.

 

I have found there is a real spiritual component to withdrawal at least for me. My thinking has gotten so dark and twisted. Filled with terrible fears. It's made me ponder my existence and god. This is such a hell that it makes me think god, if there is one, is punishing me. It's all so horrible

 

From what I've read it sounds like these thoughts subside. I'm looking forward to that