Can I / WE just complain today??

It has been such a trying and difficult week.  I’ve read that month 4 can be more difficult than month 3, and that is true for me.  True for any of you?  I’m trying to accept sxs and be positive, not always possible.  I don’t know how some of you survive for years and tell happy stories.  I admire you!!  I admire anyone going through BWD!!!

 

My brain is mush, I miss my brilliant pre-CT brain.  I miss my body.

Dear Sarah, don't be discouraged. You will definitely be healthy! Spring is always a difficult time for addicts. The month of may will come and it will be much easier. We with you will with smile recall about these temporary difficulties! You are already preparing what success story will you write? Long or short?

Have a good rant! 

Personally I think you’ve done amazingly well.

Chin up

Dickie

Thank you Bazil and Dickie.

 

I’m so frustrated.  I’m frightened about the full body numbness (with pain and spasms).  I can’t find anyone else with full body numbness.  Peripheral nueropathy raging!  I cut my toe yesterday, didn’t feel the cut for hours and only slightly then.  It’s difficilt to know what is WD and what has possibly been masked by Xanax.  Hope it’s ALL withdrawal!!!

 

Today may be a rant day!

:)

I had a HUGE wave at month 4.  We are not addicts. Spring is about natural renewal - remember that - recovery can't be forced. You are doing great by being honest, upfront and staying connected to people.  That is half the battle.

Excuse me Google translate sometimes does not translate correctly.

Thank you, LeslieJ.

 

I love Spring, Winter was so cold and miserable.  I’ll be happy when month 4 is over (I think).

 

SaraSue 

LOL!!! Rant away, my friend. You are allowed to do that.

Me, I HATE summers in Florida, where I live. It will be above 90 degrees for about 4 months with extreme humidity. The only good thing that does is make hair more curly. I detest sweating and feeling sticky. I cant wear shorts because I am so old and my legs are ugly. My right leg (the one that was injured so badly) is always swollen and truly not nice to look at. Oh the joys of getting old.

That is MY rant for today.

East,

 

I haven’t owned shorts in decades!  Capris and crop pants are my summer staple.  Cold winters and hot summers ... I should live somewhere else!! 

 

I’d rant today, but I’m exhausted.  Tomorrow is a new day.

 

SaraSue 

Thoroughly pi**ed off. 6 months since the phobia allowed me to drive more than 5 miles.

Felt good in the morning and drove 150 miles to sister to say high. Great time.

 

4 am wide awake and total body ache and withdrawal trots.

GRRR to false dawn and estimate with 4 drugs might be years!

Dickie

Can you complain? Of course, A lot of us do and it can be cathartic when others here are often the only ones who can understand and are willing to just listen to us. This Benzo thing sucks like hell!! There you go - see how easy that was!

Cat,

 

That was so easy!! 

Complain ... I was thrust back into Acute for 12 hours, thought I was dying (didn’t care).  Each hour is different!!  And not always a good different!!

 

Forty,

 

Great progress.  Sorry about the night ... me too!

 

Sara :smitten:Sue

The thing I find the most amazing about BB is that I get to "meet" people who are so wonderful and even a bit unusual in some ways. We all share a common bond. Getting through benzo wd IS a monster, and I bet many people just give up and reinstate as soon as it gets tough. We are the Champions (heard a Queen song today!) and we are the survivors!

I just wish we could all meet in person.

I keep hoping that I will find someone on BB who lives near me. Havent yet but always hoping.

Love you guys!

 

East,

Meeting would be awesome.  We are champions.  We are survivors!

 

Yay!  SaraSue

I love you all too! Hugs!

I have a wonderful fantasy in my mind, that all of us could meet in person. It would be so neat to see what we all look like, and actually speak to each other. To give each other real hugs, not virtual ones.

That will never happen but believe me, all my friends on BB mean so much to me. You have no idea how much your friendship means to me.

east

ALL of you, keep on going.

Very beautiful and warm words! We go!

Oh bother bum

Load of shampoo in my eyes this morning....ouch

And a shocker of a night.

Seriously fed up

But it will pass — ranting survivors!!!

Dick

Personally, I have never heard of full body numbness during withdrawal, but I haven't studied comprehensive withdrawal symptom lists, so who knows, maybe it's even semi-common. Still, it seems like a rather weird symptom to me.

 

Maybe check on your vitamin B12 levels? Just a thought. Low B12 can cause nerve damage.

Never,

 

I haven’t seen anyone else with full body numbness on bb.  I have not felt 95% of my body since CT in Dec.  I’ve worried horribly about it.  Today, I’m at about 85% numb full body.  In a few days I’ve felt a tiny bit more of my body.  I’m concerned I may never feel my body again (of course I feel the nerve pain).

 

SaraSue 

 

Today’s complaint(s)...

 

To numerous to post!  I hate BWD.  The physical sxs are drowning me.

 

SaraSue 

When you say you can't feel your body, what exactly do you mean by that? You can move your body though, I presume?

 

Where can you feel your body? Head? Lips? What if you try to inflict pain on yourself? Pinching/slapping yourself for example.

 

I believe you when you say it frightens you. But I would get my B12 levels checked out. Do it, quickly. And have your whole blood checked while you're at it, all the major vitamins, minerals, hormones, everything. Could be you have to pay for some of it, like vitamin A and iron aren't checked, maybe thyroid hormones even.

I say that because, as I mentioned before, B12 deficiency (which is not that uncommon, apparently) can totally and irreparably damage your nervous system. It's super important to get that checked out. If it turns out it's low, supplementing orally won't do. I'd take B12 shots to get it up quickly, then switch to oral.

 

 

Anyway. I have had numbness in several parts of my body before, mostly my legs. It's a "superficial" numbness. I could touch the bodypart in question and feel it, but it also felt numb. It went away after a few months.

What I did have in withdrawal, and still do sometimes, is that I don't really register my entire body consciously. As if it was numb. It's a frightening feeling, and I'm glad it has gotten a lot better.

 

 

I hope you feel much better soon!

Oh bother bum

Load of shampoo in my eyes this morning....ouch

And a shocker of a night.

Seriously fed up

But it will pass — ranting survivors!!!

Dick

 

Dick, you gave me a really nice smile reading this. Oh bother bum is priceless. How was your night a shocker? I have had weird night too. Last night  I had a dream that two bluejays were trying to kill me! OMG. It wasn't a real nightmare, just sort of weird. I tend to have dreams related to either school or nursing. I bet you have something similar.

east

Never,

 

I have very little feeling skin wise and skin deep.  I feel muscle pain, nueropathy nerve pain.  I cannot feel my legs, arms, stomach, back, head, etc.  I have very little feeling in my hands.  I can barely tell hot from cold water.

 

I can’t feel my body on my bed

I feel my knee bones rubbing and this week I feel my ankle bones rubbing.

 

It is frightening!

 

SaraSue