I did it

I'm finally going to write this post.

 

Briefly, I started tapering from .5 mg of clonazepam daily in january 2018. Tapered very gradually and took my last dose in november 2018. When I couldn't get reliably obtain any smaller dose, I would just start prolonging the time between doses (because clonazepam has a long half-life). For that reason, I don't feel like I ever really jumped. After getting to dosing once every 8 days, I just stopped. Psychologically, I feel like this was a smart move, cause I was afraid of stopping entirely.

 

I did the same when stepping down the dosage (which I cut by .125 mg at a time): first taking the new, lower dose once every three days for a while. Then every other day. And then 2 out of 3 days, before finally never touching the old, larger dosage again. I couldn't practically microtitrate, so that's why I came up with this method. Again, I would only try that with a long half-life benzo. I followed a basic schedule I made, aiming for 2.5 - 5 % reduction per week, and I took notes on how I was feeling, because it's easy to lose sight of the times when you have a decent day, so I had them all in there.

 

I was hit pretty hard. I did try just skipping a dose before concluding I needed the taper, and that left me in shambles for 5 days. I felt extremely claustrophobic because of this severe reaction. A couple of months into the withdrawal, it was pretty bad. I practiced acceptance and just hoped for the best.

 

Then I discovered the keto diet. I had read that it had been used as a seizure treatment in some cases. I don't remember the mechanisms anymore, but it improves GABA and reduces glutamate. I thought this must be good. I was very strict, and I had a lot of improvements, but it takes time to adjust to it. After 6 weeks I was a lot better, but I followed my slow taper.

 

Eventually, I had enough periods of feeling better, that I could find a pattern: when I did feel like a wreck mentally, it was always related to my stomach. I know the stress we're under during withdrawal can absolutely destroy the gut... I think this is worth thinking about for sure. I hate promoting this diet, but the diet where I see most reports of relief from all sorts of gut health issues (even if it's not a solution for the rest of your life) is the carnivore diet. If I went through it again, and keto didn't help me, I would try carnivore for sure. Maybe this insight is valuable to someone.

 

My life was on a complete break for that time, and since november I've still had lots of work to do, to resolve the issues that I was covering up with benzos. This is a work in progress, but I can feel that I'm gonna make it. One person in particular has helped me a LOT. That's David Goggins. I recommend him highly - his message is very fitting for people going through this. If you want to check out his story, I recommend

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Hope any of this will help you. I was very afraid of what the future would hold, but I rarely think about the withdrawal anymore, and I'm very excited about the future. Keep going.

Thanks for sharing!  Congrats on becoming benzo free and healing

Congratulations!

 

So happy for you.  Keto increases GABA and reduces Glutamate???  I need to research.

 

SaraSue 

Congratulations of healing!

Congratulations and thanks for all the information in it that might help us in other ways!!

We need all the help we can get . Mary ❤️

Thank you all so much.

 

Yes, but it has to be a strict keto diet. Gave me a lot of hope, when I read that it is sometimes succesfully used for treatment-resistant epilepsy (by the aforementioned mechanisms). And it helped a lot for sure. But a keto diet also naturally means eliminating things like sugar and gluten, and even if you usually tolerate gluten, I'm very inclined to think most people going through protracted withdrawal would find at least some improvement by adopting a very G.I. friendly diet. I've also done two 5-day water fasts, and plan to do that every 2 months. I don't know if I would have had the courage to do that during my withdrawal, but once you're completely off it, I recommend looking into this as well. It can be a very spiritual experience, and provides a lot of mental clarity, which is great for improving any residual depression. I've come out of it both times with new, productive life habits that have stuck long-term, and with a long-term improvement in my depression as well. It is no joke. Oh btw, both keto and fasting will lead to weak mitochondria being pruned, and the birth of new fresh ones inside brain cells.

 

It was a dark time, but there's something to be said for going through something like that. I've cleaned up my bad habits, and I have a greater appreciation for my health. For everyone struggling, I urge you to remember every day how amazing it is that you are willing to go through something like this for yourself. Especially if you know you also have unresolved demons underneath (honestly, doesn't everyone?).

 

Even though I never posted here, I made an account a few weeks before I began my taper. It was comforting to know there was a positive and knowledgable community waiting for me if I couldn't go alone. So thank you for that as well.

Thank you for your story. It’s very encouraging.

I used to eat a very clean keto diet. About two months ago my appetite came back and I started eating all kinds of junk food and ice cream!  I think I’ve become addicted to klondike bars lol.  I know this isn’t doing me any favors and I should really get back to low carb!

Thanks for hope!❤