10 months...list of meds physchiatrist has tried..what next

I wrote my story in the intro a few  days ago but its so sad nobody can comment....

 

8 years ago throat cancer was put on Ativan and left on it for 7-8 years... only took it at night for sleep 2 mg....never took one during the day filled my prescription every other month....it said twice a day....

 

10 months ago doctors got switched...I am in a clinic at hospital primary care doctors won't even accept me.... I was on pain meds for about a year because of neck discs and they decided neck was too bad to operate...they wanted to do 5 level posterior laminectomy

  so new doctor just said no Ativan .. I didn't even know I thought it was just my sleeping pill...

 

I am a single dad with two small children age 8 and a 14 year old autistic....24/7 by myself ...no family

 

sent to physchiatrist 9 months ago after they took Ativan away and I had insane insomnia....

 

here is a list of what he has tried in last 9 months ...all didnt work some depressed me to suisidal thoughts ...some just made my eyes blur.. not to sure of spelling I am sure I will forget one or two and the order is as close as I can remember...

 

Trazadone..Clonidine...Amitriptoline..Respirdone..Dioxan..Nortriptoline...prazasosin... and last month gave me imipramine...

 

So getting suisiudal and luckey I have children I love.... my neck discs have been a little better I still have severe nuerapothy in feet from chemo and severely damaged knees....

 

I decided to get off pain meds I was on 40 mg a day of oxycodone....because I have to sleep or put my children in Forster care and lose the incredible deal on rental house I have....

 

So now I get to tell doctors I am not on pain meds and have to make a plan...I got myself some Xanax and some herbal stuff Kratom and have made it almost 3 weeks with no pain meds after being on them almost 3 years daily.....

 

The insomnia was so bad I was getting 1 hour of sleep every 2 to 5 days....

 

so I need a plan now I can tell doctors or try to find one that I am no longer on pain meds. which they can easily test and see.. After reading all the Benzo websites forum every post and comment I can  ..by the way I have tried every natural thing l-tryptophan melatonin valerian chamomile kava kava blue lotus bought every combination pill...I have a therapists for 8 years. etc etc......

 

Seems like the Ashton Manual taper is what should have been done with me... So I think I have to find doctor to do that switch me to valium and taper..

I was only on the 2 mg Xanax and only one at night for 8 years like I said...

 

the Xanax I got ( not prescribed) are yellow bars I guess they are 2 mg also... I started taking a half one and instantly got 2 hours of sleep..

so then I tired 3/4 and still only got 2 hours and then a whole one and only got maybe 3....... so then I started taking a half and get a couple hours and then wake up and take another half and get another couple hours....granted this is going on while I am withdrawing from 3 years of pain meds..

plus I have two small children so I can't be zonked out and not able to wake up if one of them does.....I have been a single parent for 7 years my daughter was 1 and my son 6 so I am trained to wake up if one of them does......

 

In 8 years of taking the 2 mg Ativan I never went up in dosage.. I functioned fine raised two kids one a baby and ran a business.....

 

the Xanax doesn't seem the same even if I take a whole one I still wake up after two hours and cant go back...When I took Ativan everything was fine...

 

Now I think my best best is to try and find doctor who will go along with Ashton manual it sounds like the best way to convince a doctor to do this right

 

I hope he gives kms a little time to get used to the valium so I can build back a little strengh getting sleep for a few months and getting used to the valium so I know what's happening when I taper....  The Ashton Manual seems like the Bible of this and if they say switch to valium then I guess that's whats best....

 

The doctor at the clinic now and the physchiatrist I got. I am lucky to get 5 minutes and they don't want to hear it the physchiatrist has tried 7 or 8 things that haven't worked and made me worse so I dont really trust him ....What ever doctor is in the clinic isn't going to spend any time with me....

 

I dont know anyone or anywhere to get valium I was lucky to find the Xanax  to get me off the pain meds......

 

So now I've got to figure out what the heck this valium is going to work like.....I only have free insurance and minimum disability .....I didn't lived in Europe and Costa Rica for 25 years before I came back here and got cancer so I gotta a make a plan and use the right words and ask for the right stuff I am going to be lucky to find a doctor never mind get one to agree with Ashton Manual and spend anytime figuring it out ...If I asl for an appointment it takes minimum 3 months I can get seen on what they call a sick visit....  I tried to find a primary care doctor but once they see my history of cancer which was real bad stage 4b and that I was on pain meds none would take me.....

 

  And everybody is different so ive got to figure out what valium is going to be like compared to the Ativan 2mg. because the Xanax ive just been trying is nothing like the Ativan was for me....Ive got to get a few months semi normal sleep....

 

Like I said I cant send my children to strangers.... and I dont trust doctors anymore so if one says here's 2mg of valium and it doesn't work I will be screwed... So I want to ask for the right amount or higher then if I dont have to take as much great...

  Do I actually ask doctor hey let me try some so I can see whats its like...

 

 

Its hard for me to ask questions here and its hard to read the posts/comments because none involve doing this by yourself with two small children....

 

I need to find someone who's done Ativan for 8 years only at night and then switched to valium......and what mg they started with I dont want to be begging its not enough I need more. its not working....

 

I gotta hope the doctor that draws my straw at the clinic will even listen so im trying to learn from people with experience ... Thank You

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You have had a really rubbish time. I can’t imagine how you have coped.

I agree finding a taper Synpathetic doc who will help.

I have a horrid feeling they will offer you a mood stabiliser. It might work for you. Be cautious.

Glad you have kids to live for.

Wiser folk will post more helpful replies

Best wishes

Dick

Hi:  I am sorry you are going through so much suffering. I wish I can help you design a slow taper but I am no expert. I found an experienced buddy here on BB that helped me do a direct liquid taper from Ativan. Have you posted on any of the "General Taper Plan Forums"? I suggest you keep posting there until you get a response.

I did find pregabalin gave me good predictable sleep after RTA

If doc has tried imipramine he’s just trying to give you the cheapest I think.

I would ask for some Pregabalin— 50-100 helped my sleep

It does need to stop by taper though. 

It’s a Gaba b so won’t mess any old gaba a damage #######i am happy to be corrected on this. Maughan 1is the expert in this field on here.

Dick

thank you....I cant get any Ativan to taper from.. after 10 months of crazy physchiatrist meds I found a friend of a friend who got me some Xanax...that I just started using to help me get of the painmeds the  doctors had me on....I remember going thru cancer 8 years ago that gabapentin dint work at all for me.. but have read the preglabin is the same but a lot of people say its better....  the Xanax works but its weird  I started with a half a bar a couple weeks ago and it got me to sleep for a couple hours but I hadn't slept in days then I went up to 3/4 and the same only 2 hours and couldn't fall back asleep... so I tried a whole one and the same 2 hours and couldn't go back to sleep...after a week of experimenting now a half doesn't put me to sleep....there seems to be 2 problems getting tgoi sleep and staying asleep- or falling back to sleep if you  wake up.... 8 years I did 2 mg of Ativan and never thought about it it worked perfect.  if my kids woke up and or were sick I could wake up and take care of them...life was livable....I know the Ashton manual says to taper from valium is easier... ive never had a valium to try....before the doctors put me on Ativan during my cancer treatmentents .. I never tried any of them....I someked pot... I didn't drink alcohol only one or two very occasionally if I was out to see music I never got a single rink at home.... since they took me off the Ativan  marijuana seems to make it worse I dont like it anymore... and ive tried 4 different CBD oil and edibles that dont get you high but are supposed to help...  What is the bad side of these benzos.....Possible dementia ... I am getting dementia from the last 10 months of insomnia ... possible falling down.. I was a professional hockey player and ski instructor so I know how to fall plus  10 months of insomnia will make it greater possible to fall down.... and the big one its addicting.... so is everything I am addicted to my children no living in forester care and I am addicted to making my morning nutrious shake... I cant eat right all the radiation and operation on my neck I was on feeding tube for 3 years... and sleep aren't we all addicted to sleep....they have me on a thyroid medication everyday and a calcium blocker for high blood pressure everyday.....I know this is the wrong place to try and state a case for needing a benzo... but I need to live to be able to fight this.....I just kicked 3 years of pain meds the doctors had me on all by myself so I can possibly get a benzo back....just to help me stay alive and care for children to give me some time to get stronger again then do it the right way...and the Ashton Manual seems to be the Bible and it says to switch over to valium. first I am going to have to give the valium a try... after only two weeks of trying the Xanax I can tell it doesn't put me to sleep as fast and it doesn't let me fall back asleep if I wake up... I cant really tell if its making me groggy in the morning because ive been thru so much the past 10 months..I am able to get up and care for my children  but I did that while going thru chemo and radiation and on pain meds and Ativan...I am going to need to see if the valium puts me to sleep quick enough and allows me to wake up if one of the children does and still function....everything effects everybody different......its just hard for me to get advice because most of the posts are from people who need to take it during the daytime also and most of them are single parents  of small children....when I was sure my children were sound asleep and not sick I could just take 2 mg Ativan and be asleep by 11 and up at 6 am...and like I said I could deal with the daytime insanity.....But I realized that the painmeds the doctors had me on weird working that much anymore and they wouldn't up my dose  and 10 months of no sleep was killing me.. so I just kick 3 years of pain meds by myself...its only been 16 days but they had me on pain meds for the first 3 years of cancer treatment and I got off them no problem....but they left me on the Ativan for 7 years and I never upped my dose or took it during the day.. then they just pulled it cold turkey 10 months ago and ive tried everything natural and CBT therapy and now several crazy physchiatrist meds.... now I come here to read about getting back on a benzo... which this forum is not the place to do that... but also to learn how if I do and get my strenght back how I will get off the benzo and if they put me back on a benzo now that I have kicked the pain,eds do I want to experiment with trying valium or go with the Ativan I know that worked....trying to find a doctor that6 will listen for 5 minutes is my biggest fear........

The thing about Valium is that you can have a low dose and increase as the pills are easy to cut

Getting off Ativan is an art. Valium is a bit more sleepy making.

If I had been what you have then I would see if a small dose of benzo helps your current anxiety.

Many psychs are switching back from pregabalin because it’s abuse potential.

It’s your body and this a great site if you need to get off meds —— but no one wound deny you a decent quality of life.

Imagine you were epileptic and after two years on drugs you had had no fits and were driving again. Would you stop the meds ?..

I wouldn’t for me.

Best wishes

Dickie

I never advise solving a benzo or z-drug problem by taking another drug, but it sounds like you don't have the luxury of just suffering through the insomnia until it finally goes away. Have you ever tried Seroquel for sleep? I am not sure if any of the drugs that you listed is the same drug but under a different name, but many folks on this forum have gotten satisfactory results from Seroquel. It is an anti-psychotic, but at lower dosages it can induce sleep. It might help while you work to get off the benzo.

Please don’t!!

 

! Seroquel  is a very unsatisfactory drug. The Australians are heavily into it as a sleeper. They are trying to stop the massive increase in morbidity.  It is off licence. It causes dehydration, weight gain, pancreatic failure amongst other things. It is hell to come off. It dumbs you down so much.

There is a huge class action in USA against Astra Zeneca regarding their marketing and lack of safety warnings.

Promethazine is a sister phenothiazine antihistamine with less downside and recommended for sleep in mental health units. It can be bought for hay fever in uk and even comes in liquid form.

Best wishes

Dickie

Hi Victor,

Sure has been a road hard traveled.. I feel for you, and kinda relate in some ways...

I also had to use other meds to help with full time single parenting (teens) at times, but in an actual tapering sense I dont think they helped any...

It is taking me a bit to untangle from multiple meds, but im getting there (if one excludes this particular point in time which I expected to be rough), and I wonder if getting stable on just one med, if possible, and then tapering by what your symptoms will allow for might be a good path.. This could take some time, depending on how your body reacts to reductions, and it would take a continued medication supply from a Dr... You will probably find that your significant meds in your history have a bearing on each other, so I Imagine there is a component of pain med WD mixed up in this too... Pregabalin would probably be similar imo... -Well they did all interact for me...

Sleep might be the exception, and I hope you can find a gentle solution to this if needed... Not something I had to medicate for as my kids were a little older, allowing me options you dont have..

 

Sorry for such a basic reply, I hope I can help more soon.. -If needed..

Feel free to PM me anytime if you want to talk to another parenting Dad...

 

You Can do this... There will be a way...

 

I made a brief comment on another post of yours but now I've read all of your posts.

 

Congratulations on winning the many struggles you've been through.

 

Not many doctors in the U.S. are familiar with Ashton. I'm sharing this link with you from Kaiser Health Services, which most U.S. doctors should recognize, in hopes that you and your doctors will find something useful there upon which you all agree and will assist you with your symptoms:

 

https://wa.kaiserpermanente.org/static/pdf/public/guidelines/benzo-zdrug.pdf

 

best wishes