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Fear of being alone - any tips?


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Hi there,

 

Does anyone have tips on being more comfortable being alone? I am suffering with panic attacks and hate being alone when they hit. In fact just thinking about panic and nobody being there if it hits sets me off.

 

Yesterday I tried distracting myself with housework, watching tv, and it just wan't working. I would pace, back and forth - and I felt like a mad person!

 

4 months off and struggling - though I haven't lost hope  :smitten:

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Have you tried walking or just being outside more? Gardening? Coffee shops, busy places, church, volunteering? Anything outside your home basically as a start.
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Hi The Optimist,

 

When distracting fails me, I have my husband take me for a long drive or walk. The drive soothes some symptoms for me.  I can’t distract all the time.

 

Hold on to your hope, I have hope too! 

 

We will get through this!

 

SS :smitten:

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I have also had a very hard time being alone at my house. I basically developed monophobia because of this. I don't know if it's any better now though, as I haven't tested myself in a long time. Like Sara, my wife and I go on long drives and walks with our daughter. I find, the more I'm out of the house, the better I feel.

 

It's hard going from being comfortable in your house to being uncomfortable. I used to love time alone at home. I hope this returns for us.

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Have you tried walking or just being outside more? Gardening? Coffee shops, busy places, church, volunteering? Anything outside your home basically as a start.

 

Believe me, I would love to do that, but I suffer from agoraphobia as well. I can do those things with my husband or a trusted relative. But thats it. Unfortunately everyone works. If I could do those things, I would probably be working too.

 

I am walking on my own a short way, but haven't been able to get further yet - sigh.

 

I really feel stuck. I am at home, because I had so many panic attacks at work, but now at home I have them here too. I hope its a phase and it goes away.

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Hi The Optimist,

 

When distracting fails me, I have my husband take me for a long drive or walk. The drive soothes some symptoms for me.  I can’t distract all the time.

 

Hold on to your hope, I have hope too! 

 

We will get through this!

 

SS :smitten:

 

Oh thank you so much for responding Sarasue :) My husband works all day so I am on my own :/ I am finding it so difficult. I do try to get out when I can though. Do you work?

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I have also had a very hard time being alone at my house. I basically developed monophobia because of this. I don't know if it's any better now though, as I haven't tested myself in a long time. Like Sara, my wife and I go on long drives and walks with our daughter. I find, the more I'm out of the house, the better I feel.

 

It's hard going from being comfortable in your house to being uncomfortable. I used to love time alone at home. I hope this returns for us.

 

 

Oh I know! I do feel better out, which is funny as I have agoraphobia as well. But I need someone with me. I have kids as well :)

 

I hope we get better too - its so damned difficult!

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The Optimist,

 

I do have to wait for my husband to get home from work (he takes off early when I NEED to get out).  I don’t walk without him, as I am usually in the ‘Floaty Boat’ mode and concerned I will fall.  We walk each evening to keep my muscles going. 

 

Do you have a yard you could garden (plant container garden)?  Getting outside helps me tolerate sxs some days.

 

May tomorrow be better, healing can’t come soon enough!

 

SS :smitten:

 

 

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I would be in huge trouble if I had to work ... my brain and body are not functioning well enough to work :(

 

I know this level of functioning is temporary and look forward to my pre-jump brain and body returning!

 

Can you take your kids in a wagon?  I’m admire you being able to raise your kids while going through this horrible time.

 

We will get through this!  SS :smitten:

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I would be in huge trouble if I had to work ... my brain and body are not functioning well enough to work :(

 

I know this level of functioning is temporary and look forward to my pre-jump brain and body returning!

 

Can you take your kids in a wagon?  I’m admire you being able to raise your kids while going through this horrible time.

 

We will get through this!  SS :smitten:

 

Did you CT? I am ok physically, I just feel like a frightened child.

 

Re: gardening, its funny you say that because I looove gardening. I have two containers of tulips on my deck. I forgot to plant these in the fall so I am getting them to grow roots in the pots as the ground is still frozen. Its still cold here. It is about zero degrees Celsius (freezing mark). I can't wait until it gets warmer here. Last year we had our pool open a month from now!!

 

My kids are older now, age 12 and 9, much too old for a wagon LOL. Though when this mess started they were little and I took them out. Since withdrawing I have become much more frightened. Its very bizarre. I don't know if this is the new "me" or if it's withdrawal.

 

I sincerely hope that its withdrawal!

 

Are you outside much during the day? I would spend almost the whole day out if it was warmer!! Its been so cold that no spring bulbs have popped up and everything is grey.

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Yes, my six week taper was not a taper so a CT.  I was not given a choice.

 

Your Tulips will be beautiful when the do bloom.  A few more pots of other things to tend to?  We have had a miserable cold winter, thankfully it has been nicer for the last few weeks.  I’m more at home inside with the windows open for sunlight, but I’ve been outside as often as possible during withdrawal.  We go to an indoor place to walk when it is freezing cold as we don’t tolerate the cold well.

 

Your children are to old for wagon rides!  Maybe they would walk with you?  I must walk.

 

I have several physical symptoms.  Muscle weakness comes and goes.  Peripheral Nueropathy is raging.  Hopefully you won’t get physical symptoms and your others will pass quickly.

 

You will heal.  You will get through this.

 

SaraSue :smitten:

 

 

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Yes, my six week taper was not a taper so a CT.  I was not given a choice.

 

Your Tulips will be beautiful when the do bloom.  A few more pots of other things to tend to?  We have had a miserable cold winter, thankfully it has been nicer for the last few weeks.  I’m more at home inside with the windows open for sunlight, but I’ve been outside as often as possible during withdrawal.  We go to an indoor place to walk when it is freezing cold as we don’t tolerate the cold well.

 

Your children are to old for wagon rides!  Maybe they would walk with you?  I must walk.

 

I have several physical symptoms.  Muscle weakness comes and goes.  Peripheral Nueropathy is raging.  Hopefully you won’t get physical symptoms and your others will pass quickly.

 

You will heal.  You will get through this.

 

SaraSue :smitten:

 

Well once the weather gets warmer I will have lots to do outside.

Yes that sounds pretty much like a CT :/ How awful. I don't understand what your doctor was thinking? Do you have anxiety or crazy emotions right now?

 

I am having a terrible time with anxiety. I shouldn't say that I don't have ANY physical problems. I have GI problems - I look 7 or 8 mos pregnant and have heart palpitations and fatigue/shortness of breath. But not the stuff you have as my taper was gradual.

 

Yes we will heal, thank you :smitten:

 

 

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The Optimist,

 

My Pdoc said I’d have no withdrawals.  I think she may not have known (I had two other docs also say I’d have no withdrawals).  I think US docs are either stupid or not informed.  Stupid, because one doc did hint at knowing and not telling me!  I think a 38 year old doc out of medical school should have known.  My thoughts, what are they NOT teaching?

 

I hope it warms up quickly for you so you can get out of the house.  The cold here made being stuck inside at times unbearable with withdrawal.  I need some Spring weather.  I have 25+ physical symptoms this week; however, they are better than last month.  I have all your sxs you listed and many more.  I don’t have many mental sxs and hope I don’t gain any.  I’m healing.

 

I hope you have a much better week.  SS :smitten:

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Optimist

I am so sorry you have this. I have had agoraphobia for over 55 years.

Initially it was dealt with by a very firm parenting but then it was a question of med school or nil.

I was put on diazepam and managed but hated it.

Even on it I am travel eating issues and agoraphobia is bad. I have not been on hol for 5 years since wife died.

I did cbt for a while. Sometimes I just pray. And I have a dog who needs a treat walk!

But like you I live in fear. My 35 yr old daughter keeps her phone on for me if I have a challenge.

I got stuck 200 miles away which nuked my driving recovery.

I spent 8000 pounds on therapy last year.  The net result is I have realised it’s the meds making panic worse.

Try exercising indoors to raise your natural endorphins so you cope better even nipping to the post box. I just extend each walk by ten yards when I can.

I hope others give you sound advice. I bet you are a good mum!,

Best wishes

Dick

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I’m in the same boat.  My husband and son are going on a trip for a week so I will be home alone. A week alone with my thoughts is terrifying me now and the anxiety is severe.  Not sure what to do about it.  It’s not for 2 weeks and I’m already a mess.😕
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Hi there,

 

Does anyone have tips on being more comfortable being alone? I am suffering with panic attacks and hate being alone when they hit. In fact just thinking about panic and nobody being there if it hits sets me off.

 

Yesterday I tried distracting myself with housework, watching tv, and it just wan't working. I would pace, back and forth - and I felt like a mad person!

 

4 months off and struggling - though I haven't lost hope  :smitten:

 

That is a tough one Optimist.  I would put the tv on a show where I knew all the characters and their voices and that helped me,  I felt like I knew them.  It's different for everyone, but when I am alone, I have to have noise.  Hope you find something that helps soon.  Love, Mary 💜

 

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I listen to sermons and try to draw closer to God. I particularly like Charles Stanley as I find his voice very soothing. He has a good sermon on anxiety. This may not be everyone's cup of tea, though.
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Thanks butterfly

Try Googling “ Sounds like reign - it is well”  you should get y tube of beautiful song of rest.

Podcasts save my sanity. Will try Charles Stanley

Dickie

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Optimist

I am so sorry you have this. I have had agoraphobia for over 55 years.

Initially it was dealt with by a very firm parenting but then it was a question of med school or nil.

I was put on diazepam and managed but hated it.

Even on it I am travel eating issues and agoraphobia is bad. I have not been on hol for 5 years since wife died.

I did cbt for a while. Sometimes I just pray. And I have a dog who needs a treat walk!

But like you I live in fear. My 35 yr old daughter keeps her phone on for me if I have a challenge.

I got stuck 200 miles away which nuked my driving recovery.

I spent 8000 pounds on therapy last year.  The net result is I have realised it’s the meds making panic worse.

Try exercising indoors to raise your natural endorphins so you cope better even nipping to the post box. I just extend each walk by ten yards when I can.

I hope others give you sound advice. I bet you are a good mum!,

Best wishes

Dick

 

Aww thanks Forty :) I am so sorry to hear about your wife. I cant imagine how difficult that must have been. How much are you able to get out now? I am really finding this hard. I think it mostly stems from fear of panic attacks. Do you get them? I started to get them when I got down to 8 mg of valium.

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Hi there,

 

Does anyone have tips on being more comfortable being alone? I am suffering with panic attacks and hate being alone when they hit. In fact just thinking about panic and nobody being there if it hits sets me off.

 

Yesterday I tried distracting myself with housework, watching tv, and it just wan't working. I would pace, back and forth - and I felt like a mad person!

 

4 months off and struggling - though I haven't lost hope  :smitten:

 

That is a tough one Optimist.  I would put the tv on a show where I knew all the characters and their voices and that helped me,  I felt like I knew them.  It's different for everyone, but when I am alone, I have to have noise.  Hope you find something that helps soon.  Love, Mary 💜

 

Thanks Mary!  :smitten:

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  • 1 month later...

The Optimist,

 

How are you doing?  Getting outside?

 

SaraSue  :smitten:

 

Hi SaraSue,

 

Sorry for the delay in replying that or the anxiety caused the things have been really tough, my anxiety has gotten really bad, to the point where I need someone here with me. Just thinking about stuff sets me off right now into panic.

I am thinking I might need to take some medication as I am having trouble functioning..I really have no clue what I could take, doctors want to prescribe SSRIs but I can't handle the initial anxiety they give for the first few weeks. I have developed stomach problems and feel short of breath, I think that is when the anxiety started to get worse - either  that or the anxiety caused stomach issues.

 

On a positive note, weather is starting to warm up and I at least can sit outside. I have had no energy or interest in gardening right now, in the past I have - I am not sure why I have little motivation right now..

 

How are the walks going? Have you improved? I usually love a long walk but in the last month or so I am so short of breath I start to get so anxious when I walk. I still try though when my husband gets home. I hope this symptom gets better soon, I really need some exercise!!

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I’m happy to see you post.  I’m still walking twice a day, no further yet, but getting out.  I’m so sorry you are still struggling.  I believe each wd symptom to be a sign of healing for us.  I have 40+ sxs daily so I’m healing 40+ areas ... this month. 

 

Maybe you can get out more in your new and better weather.

 

SaraSueb :smitten:

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Hi Sue and Optimist

It looks as though you really work hard at making the best of each day, bless you.

In my own fear I do try to push the boundaries and it can come back at bite me on the bottom.

Today I want to hide away (I have reinstated and feel really sick so I understand Optimists fear of SSRI!)

I have managed to fill the bird feeders and fed the dog, and that will be it I think.

We crave to be well, and fulfilled—will it happen?

Well we aren’t giving up.

 

I know why I am in a tiz (messing with meds) so hope n pray for resolution. And my supportive daughter is off on well deserved break and I will miss her optimism.

 

Do we hate / reject meds too much?  I just dunno. Mary always talks sense as many do here.

I hope you both feel less phobic soon and chin up.

Dickie

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