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Stuck at low low dose. Advice or encouragement really needed and appreciated.


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Hit a wall at .0045. I was speeding up my taper after I started to feel paradoxical.  It was uncomfortable but manageable and I was able to work. When I hit .005 new symptoms emerged like chemical fear, DP/DR, and dread/doom. So I thought it was me cutting too fast., Last night, 5 days into a hold, I felt a surge in chemical fear after my daily dose. Some DP/DR too. These aren’t normal WD symptoms for me during my taper. So I really don’t know how much of this is paradoxical vs WD. It’s obvious the K isn’t doing anything therapeutic anymore, but I am afraid to speed off and have a horrific acute phase. I wonder if jumping from .0045 is even considered jumping since it’s such a low dose. Is stepping off really just like making another cut?  I can continue to push through and DLMT, jump, or hold through the paradoxical reactions and hope the chemical fear goes away and I can continue.

 

I can’t decide so I was hoping others who might have had similar experiences at low doses can weigh in.

 

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Trust God

Never been that low and hats off to you!

Essentially you are starting the post withdrawal phase. But it may not last long, you may be really surprised.  When I have done a drop and rather regret it I use other things to bridge the gap.

I might use a promethazine tablet or two ibuprofen and nurture myself for 48 hours with green tea Manuka honey and warm magnesium baths.

Will send you PM

All the best for the next few days.

Dick

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I’m on the same spot, at the very end of my taper, I probably should have jumped, but I have anxiety, urinary frequency and taquicardia. I’ve been ambivalent about jumping, I might need a push...

Any suggestions out there?

Thanks.

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I'm far from being that low and this is my first taper. But it looks to me like you've tapered very carefully and slowly. If I had got to the point where you are, I would just stop taking it.
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Maugham 1

Yes, I have tapered very slowly, at the beginning I did some mistakes, like almost ct from gabapentin, which had horrendous results, and afterwards I did some large cuts, but after I came across Benzo Buddies and the Ashton Manual, I’ve been very careful. This hasn’t prevented me from having all the symptoms in the book, this has been rough ride for me for sure.

Good luck with your taper, and thanks for your suggestion, I really appreciate it.🌸

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I want to stop taking it. I'm scared of what will happen though since I'm not stable now. The chemical fear is unnatural. My options are a drop halfway down to .0025, a rapid taper down .0005 a day for nine days, or to jump. So confused. I don't think I should hold anymore though. Not when it's making me feel like this.
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Guys,

 

Thank you for the support. I'm sorry some of you are struggling too.

 

I decided to drop down to .0025. I'll ride this out then do my last cut. I agree with those that say I should stop taking it- others have said the same--just can't reinstate or updose so I'm being conservative. Still, I think an almost 50% cut is a huge step :)

 

Maugham- I didn't know you were a doctor. It's nice to meet you. I will be praying for a successful taper for you. Fortylongyears I got you already! Demelza you will be fine. Are you holding or DLMT? I can't see your signature form the Post Reply section. CA Girl God will carry you through! I'm praying for you too!

 

Yes, thank you for the verse, Fortylongyears! 

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[4e...]

hang in there, stay strong, cause the low levels of tapering are amongst the hardest damn places of this entire journey. when i hit below 5mg diazepam, ugh, it was so hard, every time you take your med you feel weird and then start to think your med is "paradoxical" or youve gone toxic and whatnot, and youre just brutally sensitive to the teeniest change. for me, i thought it was more just my nervous system sensitivity at the time reacting to the drug, not so much that it, itself, was "toxic". its a sneaky condition to be in. whatever, doesnt matter.

 

stay strong, stay the course, its such a tiring journey to get low and now its a test of stamina as much as anything.

 

understand too that although every move you make you feel mightily, and have that desire to not do something "wrong" the fact that youre all even this careful about these low levels of med should comfort you in that youre doing it right, youre doing your best. youre NOT gonna fall over for missing a teeny tiny morsel, or cutting at these levels, or not being "perfect". theres people in the world that freakin step off high doses and survive this. we just happen to be super sensitive. being this mindful is ensuring your survival, even if it feels super rough sometimes....

 

i wish the best for everyone in every phase of this awful ordeal.

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once I got to .0085 I got so sick that I updosed a tiny bit and held for about 2weeks.  I had to do that 4 times, yes 4 times because I was so scared with how I was feeling. I went pretty deep down to the dark side.  Finally after the 4th attempt I tapered down .005 till I slid off.  I am now off about 2 weeks and still feeling pretty sick but I am getting windows so I am hopeful that I am on my way.  It took longer to get off but I am glad I did what I did.  It worked for me.  You need to do what works best for you.
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Guys, I just went from .0045 to .0025 last night in one cut and hold drop and this morning was rough but this afternoon I've been feeling much better than I have in the last couple of days holding at .0045. It's crazy none of this makes sense.

 

Luke- It's good to hear from you. I hope you're doing better these days? Man, you are so right about the meds messing with us at lower doses. I'm so sensitive that I may not be paradoxical. Who knows though right? Either way, this stuff is poison like you said. Thanks for the encouraging words- so true- this is a test of stamina..and faith.

 

Rivershope- Thanks for sharing. I'm glad you're free! It looks like that was just a couple weeks ago too. How are you doing now? Also, you said you tapered down at .005. Do you mean you went from .0075 to .005, or jumped at .005? I'm curious as to how fast you went at the lower doses. I considered holding and updosing a couple times through my taper, too but when I did, I felt worse. I usually feel better when I cut as long as it's not too fast.

 

 

 

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TrustGod828,

I still haven’t figured out how to use Benzo Buddies, but to your question, I’m not holding, I cut every twenty one days and I’m on what will definitely have to be my last cut, can’t get the pieces to be any smaller...so I should be through in nine more days. I’m having urinary frequency, I’ve had it before and I know better than think it is an infection, at one point I ended up in the ER and was put on antibiotics, two days later the test came back negative, so it was withdrawal. Now I’m taking AZO, drinking lots of water and a probiotic and waiting for it to just get better.

Best

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Demelza,

 

I understand. Have you considered a Daily Liquid Micro Taper for more consistent and smaller cuts?

 

You can try apply cider vinegar and garlic too. I heard cranberry juice is great for UTIs? If they do put you on an antibiotic try to stay away from the quinolone class like cipro- they are bad for us in withdrawal.

 

I alo have frequent urination when I'm in withdrawal. I drink water and within 20 minutes I gotta go- often! It's clear urine too. Anyway, if you want to try Daily Liquid Micro Taper, there's an awesome guy on these boards named builder who helped alot of us out. You can go over to Planning Your Taper forum and ask around. Let me know if I can help..

 

 

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TrustGod822,

I don’t think I coul go lower, am taking less than a pin head of a .25 pill, twice a day. Honestly I should have jumped, but I had to travel and I’m in another country where we spend part of the year, the first days take a lot of adaptation, so that’s one of the reasons I haven’t jumped.

I don’t want to take antibiotics, I’ll probably have a urinalysis to make sure there is nothing wrong and follow your advice as of drinking more water and cranberry juice, plus a probiotic.

Thanks

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so I'm not the only one struggling at the low dose of v stuck in between paradoxical effects and wd.

 

When one is in between the 2 evils, the best is to get off asap giving wd is tolerable. Unfortunately my wd is so brutal so I have to take the poison enduring the paradoxical sx.

 

I'm so glad to hear you are feeling better after the cut!

 

 

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Trust, I am 12 days off as of today.  At first I felt okay but as the days are going by I feel a little worse.  Today has been a pretty rough day.  I usually get a break from the burning but today it has stayed with me all day.  Every day seems different.  It is just to early to tell where this is going.  At 1 mg. I tapered down at a rate of .005 till I reached 0.  No jumping off for me I literally tapered to 0 mg.  It was the right thing to do for me since I felt almost every cut I did.  At the end I just had to keep going and get it done. 

 

You got this.

 

 

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Congratulations! Rivershope for making it to the finish line!

 

True healing starts here!

 

How did you feel during the last part of micro taper? Did you DLMT 0.005mg from 3.5mg?

 

4 mom

 

 

 

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Thanks everyone! I really appreciate the feedback and support!

 

I'm doing well enough. I cut to .0025 three days ago. I had a rough night but the next day I had a window after praying in the afternoon that lasted until the next afternoon and then WD started. I'm 3 days into the cut now. It's very uncomfortable, but not as bad as when I was holding. Holding I had so much chemical fear and had to stay out of work- more mental. WD is more physical. I'm at work--thanks to God! I'll ride out the weekend, and hold until I feel I can cut again and just slide off and be done. I don't see the sense of staying on .0025 or less more than a week or two. All God willing though- we plan our way but he establishes our steps.

 

Holding/Paradoxical- more chemical fear, terror, anxiety, benzo flu,  electric/buzzing/warm and cold energy sensations--nerve stuff.

Cutting/WD- more amped up physical restlessness, irritable, nervousness, brain activated too much, tight gut and ribs, cardiac, inner tension/trembling, insomnia.

All the time- tinnitus, burning or tingling mild to severe parasthesias, , brain fog.

 

I hope everyone else is staying strong. We will get through this!

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  • 3 weeks later...

I'm 3 days into .001 mg. Right now my symptoms are inner trembling and trembling, extreme anxiety, chemical fear, agoraphobia, burning parasthesia, caustic nerves, brain fog, slight restlessness, hyperacusis and distorted sounds, tinnitus, tight muscles, POTS, awkward in my own body, reduced appetite, fasciations, head pressure, tight throat swallowing difficult and hoarse voice. My body and brain feel like it has electricity running through it. I've been worse but I'm unable to work and had to call out these last few days which is a huge deal to me.

 

When I'm stable my symptoms are usually tinnitus, slight to moderate if any anxiety, parasthesias and other nerve sensations, maybe some inner tension and maybe a slight amped up feeling during the morning and afternoon like I drank way too much coffee (physical like adrenaline not mental anxiety). I am sleeping between 4 to 6 hours a night and wake up with the cortisol rush.

 

Last night I took my dose and it revved my symptoms up. It’s been doing this sometimes esp the lower I go.

 

I want off this poison since it's not helping me at all but I fear going to zero will make everything ten times worse. I'm stuck between holding, speeding off, or continuing to chip away and being at zero in a couple weeks tops. It's like the lower I go especially below .01 mg the harder it gets. I don't know if I'm super sensitive and going too fast or going too slow and prolonging and making things worse. I always thought we would be stable if we went low and slow. I envisioned stepping off with minimal symptoms so I go into acute from a stable place but I feel like I'm in acute now.

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I'm at .005g on my am dose and .008 on my pm. This is weight in grams. Both of my pills are like crumbs now. I have the same fear, to the point that I went to an outpatient program which turned me away. Even psychiatrists have told me they don't help with tapers...I have the same fear. I want to stop but don't know what to expect. I've been taking Benadryl every day to calm down from bad waves. If anyone has any more insight that has stopped it would help tremendously.
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It may not work for you but when I can’t stand the fear and doubt myself I take ibuprofen!!!

It has mild relaxant properties I read somewhere.

Hope is smooths out

Dick

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