Author Topic: Back from the Dead, and Back in Black (Life 2.0!)  (Read 2131 times)

[Buddie]

Re: Back from the Dead, and Back in Black (Life 2.0!)
« Reply #10 on: March 31, 2019, 11:15:42 pm »
Hello [...]!

I have problems with reading & writing. I think I got dyslexia. Earlier I've found a topic with your message and very happy for your visit to the forum.

I hear you.. this is happening to me much of the time when I'm trying to read nowadays.. my brain can't process words as fast as i'm reading them, so it just 'decides' to fill in the blank.. I've NEVER had this problem before I decided to taper off of benzos.  my reading comprehension is in the shitter too, which is what i realized last summer - and i knew instinctively that it was the clonazepam, so I decided to get off of it. 

i mean, how can we learn anything (and be productive) if we can't read and comprehend new material, or (regarding short term memory loss) if we can't remember how we were shown to do something??

I pray to be able to read and learn like i used to.. i can't imagine a life w/o the ability to read.. like i said, last summer i was on benzos and i finally admitted to myself that i couldn't retain anything anymore.. that was intolerable to me, so i've gone through all the tapering pain and the w/d, to hopefully read again someday! i guess it will take more time.. tomorrow's my 90 days off of benzos.. good luck Crazy Pants! - [...]

Do you have problem with reading now? If it's better when it changed for you?

And let me ask. Did you have a fear you got dementia? My cognitive and memory problems are epic. I'm totally dumb. I'm a programmer and very surprised I still work.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Back from the Dead, and Back in Black (Life 2.0!)
« Reply #11 on: April 01, 2019, 02:34:22 am »
 A huge congratulations to you [...] for healing and taking time to come back and share your success story. I am sooooo happy for you. Your post is very well written and gives us hope that those of us who are still struggling will also heal when the right time comes.

May you continue to receive joy, love, peace and wellness with your well deserved new life.

Blessings!
[...]
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Back from the Dead, and Back in Black (Life 2.0!)
« Reply #12 on: April 01, 2019, 05:12:57 pm »
Wow just amazing! Thank you for sharing your story; in every word itís inspirational. It gives me hope to see someone jumping off at .0625mg of K because thatís where Iím at right now and would love to jump in a week if I can.

Hey thanks!  Yes, definitely "jump".. I was okay as by then, it was just another "cut" and you've probably done lots of those recently.. and then, just keep going, one hour at a time!  Great job on getting off of this junk and after a while, you'll be just fine!
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Back from the Dead, and Back in Black (Life 2.0!)
« Reply #13 on: April 01, 2019, 05:14:51 pm »
Great stuff [...].. Well done..!!
All the best into the future...

:)

Hey [...]!  I remember you.. great to see you're still doing well.. thanks for reading and all the best to you as too!
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Back from the Dead, and Back in Black (Life 2.0!)
« Reply #14 on: April 01, 2019, 05:17:06 pm »
Thanks for coming back to share a beautifully written success story , [...] .
So well written ..... And encouraging .
I'm taking the slow track with my taper .... I don't feel so tough !
But I'm improving as I go so I guess I'll continue the path I've chosen

Congratulations on your success, and having a great attitude to the whole thing.... I'm happy for you that you can move on with your life !

All the best ,
[...]

Thanks a lot [...]!  Believe me, I didn't feel so tough either, once I made that first cut.. sheesh.. that really kicked my butt!  I think "slow and steady" wins the race with benzo w/d and recovery.. keep it up and congratulations on making the decision to get off of this poison and to reclaim your life!

[...]
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Back from the Dead, and Back in Black (Life 2.0!)
« Reply #15 on: April 01, 2019, 05:23:30 pm »
Thank you so much for sharing your success story and HUGE congrats to you! Is the tinnitus the only symptom you have left? How is your sleep? I am almost 2.5 years out and still having windows and waves with my sleep, so just wondering if you had insomnia and if it got better? Thanks again and best wishes for life 2.0 !!

Hey, good questions.. and thanks for reading.. you know, the tinnitus thing is a real pain.. last August it was practically gone, but after the jerky surgeon put that awful, toxic plastic "hernia mesh" inside of me, all of a sudden the tinnitus picked WAY up again.. practically screaming, so I don't know.. I would love it to go away and hear silence sometimes.. anyway, that whole hernia ordeal and huge surgery to have the mesh removed has messed with my sleep a lot, so, my results are "skewed" to say the least.. I suppose I have "windows and waves" with sleep as well, but I can't be sure it's related to benzo w/d anymore..

Hope yours goes away soon and that you can sleep through the night again too.. Good job on getting off benzos!!!  and best wishes for you in your new life as well!
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Back from the Dead, and Back in Black (Life 2.0!)
« Reply #16 on: April 01, 2019, 05:24:42 pm »
So great to read this!  Thanks for sharing now go enjoy your life  :) :)

Thanks a lot! 
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Back from the Dead, and Back in Black (Life 2.0!)
« Reply #17 on: April 01, 2019, 05:27:20 pm »
Hey my friend - its bringing tears in my eyes to read this, and you know that..

Please come into the protracted board so we can write a lot more.

I am so so so happy that the relationship worked out so wonderful - it was so brave to just do it and move to her and so on and I had my fingers so damn crossed for you. Of course its sad that the other shit happened but well - I am the master of shit in life so I can relate. By the way I think you might still be a model just find a good story for the scarf maybe something with pirates or a shark.

I am so proud of you.
Did you also taper the last med you were on when you left bb the last time?

Sending you a hug!
Marigold :smitten:

Hey Marigold!

Thanks so much.. I have to laugh when you say, "I am the master of shit in life as well" .. sigh.. but too funny.. I know.. me too.. Just when i thought I was out, they pull me back in!  damn doctors... ugh..

anyway, yes, I'll check out the protracted board soon.. Talk soon!

[...]
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Back from the Dead, and Back in Black (Life 2.0!)
« Reply #18 on: April 01, 2019, 05:35:42 pm »
Hello [...]!

I have problems with reading & writing. I think I got dyslexia. Earlier I've found a topic with your message and very happy for your visit to the forum.

I hear you.. this is happening to me much of the time when I'm trying to read nowadays.. my brain can't process words as fast as i'm reading them, so it just 'decides' to fill in the blank.. I've NEVER had this problem before I decided to taper off of benzos.  my reading comprehension is in the shitter too, which is what i realized last summer - and i knew instinctively that it was the clonazepam, so I decided to get off of it. 

i mean, how can we learn anything (and be productive) if we can't read and comprehend new material, or (regarding short term memory loss) if we can't remember how we were shown to do something??

I pray to be able to read and learn like i used to.. i can't imagine a life w/o the ability to read.. like i said, last summer i was on benzos and i finally admitted to myself that i couldn't retain anything anymore.. that was intolerable to me, so i've gone through all the tapering pain and the w/d, to hopefully read again someday! i guess it will take more time.. tomorrow's my 90 days off of benzos.. good luck Crazy Pants! - [...]

Do you have problem with reading now? If it's better when it changed for you?

And let me ask. Did you have a fear you got dementia? My cognitive and memory problems are epic. I'm totally dumb. I'm a programmer and very surprised I still work.

Wow.. that post of mine you brought up, really brings me back.. yes, I definitely feared I was getting some kind of dementia, as for a while, I just couldn't really believe how "dumb" I was getting.. I remember getting practically lost in my own neighborhood, among so many other "moments"

Unfortunately, I'm still not reading books like I used to, but I can read and comprehend now, and everything is back in sync, as far as timing goes.. I guess I'm just reading more news stories and shorter things lately, but one just has to learn "how to be an actor" in this, while at work, or at other places..

Remember, no one can look at you and "know" how cognitively impaired you are right now.. and if I were you, I wouldn't share too much about it, with those you work with.. in my experience, people just don't (or won't) understand and have compassion.. once i realized i didn't look as stupid as i felt, i could just carry on, with the understanding that i didn't have to demonstrate all of whatever intelligence i had (or didn't have) all the time.. just stay focused on what you're doing at the moment..

believe me, after i jumped off of clonazepam, i was real cognitively impaired, and 6 months later, when i tapered "risperdal" i got another serious dose of being cognitively impaired, so I know what you're talking about.. it's a real opportunity to "fake it till you make it" and not advertise how dumb you feel.  my mother always said, "the world's cruel enough, you don't have to give it ammunition."

Best of luck, and don't worry, it will all come back eventually.. just hang in there, one day at a time.. no kidding!

[...]
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Back from the Dead, and Back in Black (Life 2.0!)
« Reply #19 on: April 01, 2019, 08:12:28 pm »
Thanks for sharing this story. Thank you for all the details. I can relate to so much of what you went through, as I'm a year off Klonopin c/t and still suffering symptoms. I still have blurry vision and DR/DP. One thing you said that really sticks out to me is you didn't recognize your own memories as your own. I am still experiencing this. In January, I was driving around where I attended college and thought I never went to school here. It was really disconcerting for me. But I still have that now. I try to think of old memories and have a hard time remembering them, and when I do, they don't seem real. They almost seem like dreams.

I also relate to what you said about having everything you need to be comfortable yet you are not no matter what you have. And I also relate to what you said about sitting around tables at work, hoping you don't have to speak. I teach high school English. During a meeting on Thursday, I had the same thought in my head. I just didn't want to speak. I had to and thought I might pass out afterward.

Did you suffer very bad depression and intrusive thoughts through the experience, almost like your mind doesn't belong to you?
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.