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Five Year Update , I am OK at 97%


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Dear BB Friends, five years have passed and time and more time did heal me. I want to give you all hope and encouragement that the nightmare does end. I spend very little time on this site anymore, I check my PMs and exit out quickly because it is too painful to recall the horror of it. I CT off ambien 5 years ago, until my encounter with ambien I was healthy, no mental health issues and physically healthy. The only problem I had in my life was insomnia, therefore 10 mg of ambien was prescribed which I took nightly for 2.5 years. And then I went into hell......

 

Hell for me consisted of 21 plus symptoms, mental and physical. I was trapped in my body and mind and there was no escape from the pain. The physical started first, intense body burning, numbness, bladder spasms, back pain, GI issues, heart palps, night sweats, vision issues. Then all the medical appointments, neurologists, cardiologist, rheumatologist, urologist, and then the crazy mental symptoms, ......that dark depression, the anxiety, the FEAR.

 

The doctors were useless, finally I discovered all my symptoms were related to benzo/ambien WD. I sought validation from doctors, and they were clueless. But my BB friends gave me validation, and gave me HOPE. I look back now and I can't believe I survived it all. It took me about 3 years to heal to the point where I could function normally again. It took 3.5 years for those horrible bladder spasms to stop.

 

So at 5 years , here is my truth. Yes, I did heal,  I can function normally again. I enjoy my life. I am happy. Unfortunately, my marriage of 44 years ended, this year, after I discovered serious trust issues with my husband. As devastating as my divorce was, it did not even come close to the horrors of WD.

 

BUT, there are subtle reminders of WD, when I lie down, my limbs may burn for a few seconds, when I get stressed I have benzo back pain for am few minutes, I may get a quick vibration in my body, night sweats, a quick moment of anxiety which last a few seconds, but it quickly leaves. I mention this only because even at 5 years out, my body is still healing, I saw improvement from year 4 to year 5. But it is important to focus upon  I can live a normal life again, I am OK. Lets say I am 97% healed. I believe I will continue to improve.

 

At 97% healed that translate into working full time, traveling on cruises, sleeping 5-7 hours a night, playing pickle ball ,running 15 miles a week, enjoying friends and family. I am OK.

 

So dear friends, those of you out beyond 3-5 years, no worries.....you will continue to improve. it truly is just time and more time. You will be OK.

 

Always, cindy

 

 

 

 

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Beautiful success story Cindy! Congratulations to reaching to the other side! Your story  give me so much hope. May your health continue to get better until you feel 100% better.

I’m almost 3 years out ..not much healing,... but I won’t give up.

Love and healing

Vica

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Wonderful, wonderful story! Thank you so much for coming back to update us with your good news, Cindy. It's a generous and thoughtful thing to do. Enjoy your life!
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[b3...]

I so need to hear this.  Thank you!

 

When I started college studying Calculus for an engineering degree (civil), I understood that my 115 I.Q. was about 5 points short of what was considered convenient for being an engineer.  I opted to make up for any short coming by simply studying harder. For a time it was beginning to work. But, messing with benzos to improve nighttime panic attacks turned progress into digress.  I am just over three years out, still having difficulty. Doubt I'll even get back to 115, let alone approaching 120.

 

(I know, I know... I.Q. is a stupid way of identifying anything, but it makes telling my story that much faster).

 

 

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Cindy, thanks for coming back and writing. Did you feel periods of intense anger for no reason? I have been going through this new symptom lately and it's scary.
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Dear Cindy,

  Thank you for returning to share your success! Your story confirms that this can take much longer than a few months to heal from the damage caused by this class of drugs. It takes tremendous patience and acceptance to take this journey. You’ve made the trek! Congratulations!

  May you continue to enjoy your hard earned health and new life. Wishing you joy. Again, thank you,

 

Carita :smitten:

 

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Cindy, THANK YOU SO MUCH for coming back to give us hope.  I've been in hellish WD for almost 49 months, and in a terrible wave for the past three+ months. Losing hope, so tired.  I really needed to hear from you today. Thank you again.  I'm so sorry to hear of your divorce, but glad you had the strength to do what was best for you.  Wishing you joy, peace.  With gratitude, WR
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Dear Cindy,

 

Wonderfull written and as a long term sufferer it’s important to read those succes stories to carry on.

I am happy for you, even if I don’t know you. Can you describe me how your healing pattern went?

Did you have a window/wave pattern? Or did you notice improvement when time went by?

 

All the best in your life. Enjoy it!

 

Stefan (HopeHope)

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Thank you SO MUCH for this, cindy!!! You have always been very helpful to people here, and thank you for responding to me and being so kind during my UTI nightmare!! VERY HAPPY to find that you are 97% healed and that all this will go away!!!  :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :smitten:
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Thank you for coming back to offer us hope. These success stories are so important for everyone currently suffering.  Congratulations and may you continue to heal and enjoy your life!

 

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I needed to read this today.  I just passed the 3 year mark and am still struggling.  Your comment about improving beyond 3-5 years helps.  I have been very discouraged lately thinking that I will never heal.
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my love and thanks for coming back to post to us. I have seen your posts over the years. im just so happy for you. I wish you a fast recovery through that last 3% and please feel free to come back and share more joy of health and recovery with us anytime.
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Dear Cindy, congratulations! I wish you continued healing. I am deeply sorry about your marriage. That’s a long time 44 years. I hope you have been able to pick up the pieces and move on, however I can’t imagine the emotions you still carry. Thank you for your testimony. It means so much to all of us on this forum. May you enjoy the rest of your life to the fullest.

 

Jackie :smitten: :smitten:

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  • 2 weeks later...

Congratulations! Glad you're feeling so much better.

 

But reading this re-enforces how much of an injustice benzo prescription can be. I mean would anyone EVER take even a single pill if they knew that even after 5 years, residual withdrawal symptoms may be experienced?

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Thank you so much for your success story.  I have not been on here in forever but came to the success page today and I'm glad I did.
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  • 3 weeks later...

Hey Cindys

 

I was pleasantly surprised to see you finally write your success story.  So happy for you and glad you are living your life 97% better! I know I've said it before but I'll say it again.. if you made it through this ordeal I know you can make it through the difficulties that come along with the marriage situation.  I wish you well and thank you for coming back just to check up on the community every so often. 

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Thank you for posting your story Cindy  I am so sorry your marriage didn't survive, I know that must have been tough for you, 44 years is a long time!!    I am so glad that you are pushing through it and getting on with life... and it sure sounds like you are having a good time! and well deserved!!

 

Best wishes

Magrita :smitten:

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  • 7 months later...
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