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5 Years Free and Still Walking the Path to the Sea


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Beautiful post and success story , thank you so much for  coming back to post with your wonderful style of writing.. so inspiring . I think we need to feel that we are receiving wisdom on this journey in order to feel that it has some purpose and is not just a waste of our lives. Hard at times to put it mildly!  I  look forward to the day when I can look back on this time and reflect on the gifts it brought .

 

THank you again ,

MiYu :smitten:

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Muy Bien,  me dio mucha Alegria ver su mensaje a mis 14 meses libres de ativan

 

Un abrazo desde Medellin Colombia.

 

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Luey, Yes, the pace for healing is sooo much slower than we’d like. And I think you’re wise to take as long with your taper as you feel you need to. If I had known as much as I know now, I would’ve tapered more slowly too. Keep faith in yourself, you’re on the right path! :smitten:

 

MiYu, I see you’ve been thru the medication-switching-mill too - sooo hard! But it looks like you’ve found a method that will see you through. I didn’t even know about LMT when I tapered, but I know many buddies who have used it successfully. You’ve got this! :smitten:

 

Luis Fernando, I see you’re quite new here, and I admire your skills with English! 14 months free from Ativan is still early on. In your most recent posts you mention a big problem with acid reflux - in my experience that is best treated with a few months of a very clean diet - simple, fresh, whole foods. You need to give your gut a chance to restore itself - it’s been through a trauma! Also, my Dr. recommended a natural soother called GI Encap - it’s a combination of diglycerated licorice, marshmallow extract, slippery elm and aloe vera gel. Keep asking questions, lots of knowledgable people here to help! :smitten:

https://www.amazon.com/Thorne-Research-GI-Encap-Botanical-Supplement/dp/B007854W4K/ref=sr_1_2?keywords=thorne+GI+encap&qid=1553557262&s=gateway&sr=8-2

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Hi Liamb822, No, I did not cold turkey any of my medications.  But I've known a few buddies who did and made it through! Hang in there and hold on to whatever gives you hope - it's a powerful healer. :smitten:
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Dear Aft,

Your voice of serenity and wisdom stood its ground as does the massive rock that's hit over and over again by the wave.

Great to see you healthy and making it to the Sea.

 

Saraa

 

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Dear Aft,

Your voice of serenity and wisdom stood its ground as does the massive rock that's hit over and over again by the wave.

Great to see you healthy and making it to the Sea.

 

Saraa

 

Dear Saraa :mybuddy: Indeed! We each become grounded in our own way - rocks have many things to teach us ;-) So lovely to hear from you again, you've such a gentle wit! :smitten:

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Aft35yrs  thank you for your mesanjes are very encouraging, for me as many of here seems not to end. What a madness this trip. I'm taking a ppi that the dr sent me for reflux, but it still does not help much the symptom does not go away. I do not know what to do or do not want to spend a lot of time in these ppi. any ideas? vpy to buy gi-encap
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Dear Aft,

Your voice of serenity and wisdom stood its ground as does the massive rock that's hit over and over again by the wave.

Great to see you healthy and making it to the Sea.

 

Saraa

 

Dear Saraa :mybuddy: Indeed! We each become grounded in our own way - rocks have many things to teach us ;-) So lovely to hear from you again, you've such a gentle wit! :smitten:

 

:thumbsup::smitten:

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  • 6 months later...

Dear Aft35,

 

Thank you for your story and images.  I needed to hear this today as its been a tough week. 

 

I too was pollydrugged and now am tapeing benzos for the second time.

 

I'm trying to so a symtoms based micro taper and that is even hard for me. 

 

Did you do any long holds during your taper?  This has been such a painful journey and I just want to keep going so I can off but its hard and I'm older now.

 

So glad to hear you are thriving.

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Thank you so much for your beautiful words!

 

Your story was exactly what I needed to read today.

 

I've recently had a similar experience regarding acceptance. It happened right after I found this forum and realized that my suffering (6 mos after last benzo) was far from unique, and that the path to recovery wasn't a straight line.

 

By accepting that the waves of wd symptoms are what they are, by fully accepting that my best path through these waves isn't to fight but rather release all resistance and simply let it pass, my quality of life has improved enormously. I've been learning, too, not to wait for long periods of relief, but rather to accept and enjoy each good moment as it comes. And to let it go, too, (because it will go) and appreciate it more fully for exactly what it is.

 

I've found tremendous relief from guided meditation via a free app called Insight Timer--my brain is too jumpy to meditate without a calm voice to help me stay present. But there's a wonderful guided meditation/visualization called "Welcoming Acceptance" by Bethany Auriel-Hagan that I've really connected with. I'm certain I'll be listening to it regularly for years to come. But I wanted to share that with you and the forum.

 

Thank you again for your story. It's more than encouraging. It provides a solid truth in a world where reality isn't quite so solid these days--that I, too, will heal. And it helps so much to be reminded of that!

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Thank you, Aft.

I was literally thinking today how this journey has only shown up to show me patience and letting go of passing pain.

So lovely to read your words today.

I am still sitting peacefully beside the river, but I cannot wait again to one day meet the ocean.

Your success is my success, so congrats, my friend.

Thank you for still coming back to this platform to support.

I think that is the most beautiful part of ALL.

Much love, Heather Elizabeth

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My goodness, buddies! I didn’t receive any notifications of your new replies! Pardon my delayed appreciation. :smitten:

 

Interestingly, you bumped my post at a time when I needed to hear from you. So all of you are helping me too. Funny how things work like that.  ;)

 

Today is the day after Halloween, but I prefer to think of it as Samhein - the Celtic New Year, and a time to dream the future and honor the past. And I’ve actually been thinking about this forum and how very grateful I remain for the friendship and encouragement I’ve received here.

 

We had a strong storm here last night and I’ve been without power for most of the day. Storms are always important to me. Maybe it's kinetic energy, maybe it's the gusty sensation of blowing debris aside. Whatever the reason, it's a time when I pay attention to what’s calling me.

 

And what I hear is the voice inside myself that gave me the courage to take this benzo journey to freedom. I know it’s a voice all of you hear too, or you wouldn’t be here. And I’m thinking about all of the people who are still taking benzos, because they’re too afraid to trust that voice inside themselves — the one that assures them that all of this, ALL OF THIS, is worth the pain.

 

And I want to help them. I don’t know how I will do that yet, but I’m sure it will involve writing. So, many thanks to all of you for nudging me one step closer to a vision of my purpose.

 

neoapostle - Of course when I see your name I think of Keanu Reeves as Neo in The Matrix. One of my favorite heroes. I’m so glad you decided to help yourself, and that you survived a c/t. Says a lot about your strength. And thanks for the bump ;-)

 

Final healing - I’m so glad the images touched you. It’s often true that an image carries more meaning than words. And yes, I did take a long hold during my taper. When I had to move. And it was the right thing to do. Even with the hold, I almost  didn’t make it through the moving process. And if I hadn’t held, I would’ve failed. Trust yourself if you feel a strong need to do this. Time is on your side.

 

LuckyDog006 - I see you’re new to BB and I welcome you! It’s a very good sign that you’re already drawn to the  idea of acceptance, and thank you for mentioning Bethany Auriel-Hagen’s guided meditation. I’ve also used Insight Timer, during early recovery,  and found it really helpful, especially when I was sitting in my car in parking lots, feeling too awful and dissociated to go into big stores. And you’re absolutely right that even within the rocky-boat reality of daily life in benzo recovery,  there is a solid reality. And that is your reason to continue. Hold on for the prize!

 

BeHereNow - I’m so glad you’re finding some moments of peace at your own river. Hold on to them, because they are the truth of your future. It’s so difficult to allow pain to pass, and let it go from our mind, but it is worth the effort to remember that is possible. Creativity was my secret weapon and most effective distraction during recovery. Creativity - even something as simple as taking pictures with my phone - is what showed me that my mind was still there for me, in spite of the pain.

 

Challis99 - So nice to hear from you again ChalPal! I miss our little chats in the oasis of blogland!

 

Much love to all and thank you again for your thoughtful comments.

Aft  :smitten:

 

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Carita!  - Thank you for stopping by. It’s always a joy to learn you’re still here, helping others.  :mybuddy: You know, when I first met you I was too ill to appreciate the significance of your screen name. “Caritas” is love for humanity. What a perfect name for you here. :smitten:
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Yours is one of my favourite stories on here. Thank you for sharing with such heart and eloquence.

 

I love what you wrote: the Celtic New Year...a time to dream the future and honor the past.... That's how I see and celebrate it, too. Wishing you the beauty of many more Celtic celebrations.

 

Wildflower

 

 

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Annahita - You’re most welcome, and I’m sorry you’re having difficulties right now. Find peace when you can and hold the memory for when you need a boost.

 

Wildflower - Thank you for your kind words. Yes, I believe our heart and soul will see us through when our bodies are weary. And I’m so glad you are moved by the Celtic traditions too!

 

Here’s a beautiful rendition of a traditional Irish folk song. I find it very dreamy and calming; I hope you both do too.  :smitten:

 

 

-featuring Pauline Scanlon’s soothing voice in Lumiere’s Fair and Tender Ladies:

 

RqgHg0F.jpg

 

 

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valiumnomore - Thank you for reading. I see that you’re holding right now, and when I chose to hold I was also very busy questioning myself. Here’s a guided meditation that helped me back then. No-one can know your body as well as you do. Take good care. :smitten:

 

Michael Sealey, Hypnosis for Self Healing Energy

 

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