Author Topic: PTSD Club  (Read 9260 times)

[Buddie]

Re: PTSD Club
« Reply #140 on: May 01, 2022, 01:17:57 am »
I think I am in the Complex trauma club. I grew up surrounded by narcissists and family secrets. Never knew the secret til my parents were gone way late in life. Basically I think I wasn't wanted, and got used and instrumentalized.

For complex folks did you ever hear of Sam Vaknin? He really wrote the book on narcissistic abuse.

Haven't heard of him, but I'm interested.

My mother was diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder with borderline tendencies when I was middle aged. I think it set me up for my severe reaction to a big T trauma later in life.

Benzo withdrawal seemed to add another layer of trauma because of things that happened to me during the withdrawal.

I'm very interested in what kind of things are helpful for people.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: PTSD Club
« Reply #141 on: May 01, 2022, 02:35:12 pm »
I think I am in the Complex trauma club. I grew up surrounded by narcissists and family secrets. Never knew the secret til my parents were gone way late in life. Basically I think I wasn't wanted, and got used and instrumentalized.

For complex folks did you ever hear of Sam Vaknin? He really wrote the book on narcissistic abuse.

Haven't heard of him, but I'm interested.

My mother was diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder with borderline tendencies when I was middle aged. I think it set me up for my severe reaction to a big T trauma later in life.

Benzo withdrawal seemed to add another layer of trauma because of things that happened to me during the withdrawal.

I'm very interested in what kind of things are helpful for people.


I think I know a little about where you're coming from. The trauma leads to medication and then more trauma.

About Vaknin, he has a huge amount of videos on youtube. Incredible life story. His book came out in 1995 before most of the others and it comes from experience. He came up with many of the terms used in the scholarship. 
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: PTSD Club
« Reply #142 on: May 01, 2022, 03:05:47 pm »
So, I did a search Varkin and found him on youtube. He seems to be an aware narcissist? It is too painful for me to watch much.

I live 62 years with an unaware narcissist. She died on Monday. I was very aware of the pain she was in. Unfortunately, most of my family did not seem to understand. The understanding helped me know how to relate to her, but it did not give me back my childhood and it did not make me less hyper-vigilant.

Have you found anything that helps you?
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: PTSD Club
« Reply #143 on: May 01, 2022, 03:28:45 pm »
You have my deepest sympathy now, Gardner. It must be very painful. Some things do free up when someone like that passes on though. If this is all a week ago you have a lot of metabolizing to do. Be easy on yourself. I think you've already survived it.

Yes Vaknin has a lot of videos and it can be overwhelming. He's been at it for a decade or more. You can search for tags and key words on his page to narrow stuff down. His book from 1995 might be a good thing to read. it was an eye opener for me on almost every other page. 

Maybe also try to exercise if possible. Take good care and check in.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: PTSD Club
« Reply #144 on: May 02, 2022, 01:34:28 am »
You have my deepest sympathy now, Gardner. It must be very painful. Some things do free up when someone like that passes on though. If this is all a week ago you have a lot of metabolizing to do. Be easy on yourself. I think you've already survived it.

Yes Vaknin has a lot of videos and it can be overwhelming. He's been at it for a decade or more. You can search for tags and key words on his page to narrow stuff down. His book from 1995 might be a good thing to read. it was an eye opener for me on almost every other page. 

Maybe also try to exercise if possible. Take good care and check in.

Thanks, drad. Even though she was my narcissistic abuser, she was still my mother. But it was not a bad thing that she chose to move to Arizona to be near other family after my father passed.

I'm not sure I want to read Valkin. It sounds like it could be an emotional raking over the coals. :(
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.