Author Topic: PTSD Club  (Read 4643 times)

[Buddie]

PTSD Club
« on: March 12, 2019, 01:38:38 am »
Anyone who thinks they have PTSD can come here and talk about it.  I often thought I had PTSD during my taper, only to be confirmed by a psychologist, that I am indeed suffering PTSD.  I don't have any one traumatic thing that has happened to me that I can remember.  My therapist says it is from withdrawal and maybe something else, she isn't sure.  I feel very very triggered by little things. 

Who else has this or thinks they might? 
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[Buddie]

Re: PTSD Club
« Reply #1 on: March 12, 2019, 03:06:21 am »
I have it, both from the w/d experience and childhood trauma as well.  I recommend a book by Pete Walker called Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving.

I was triggered into feelings of rage today when talking to a counselor about the drugs.  I really want to get over this so bad.  I donít know how itís going to happen when Iím unable to talk to people who really get it because theyíve lived it.  The invalidation is the hardest part and the fact that itís socially acceptable that a large part of the population is drugged is unacceptable to me.  Getting mad again just talking about it.  Itís a good idea to discuss this aspect of w/d.  Thank you for the group.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: PTSD Club
« Reply #2 on: March 12, 2019, 08:00:56 pm »
Hi [...].  I actually wonder if I also have trauma from my childhood and just have never processed it.  I can recall many times people asking me "what happened to you?"  and I thought it was my anxiety, but I was in tolerance withdrawal for ages, so I am not really sure.  My startle reaction is RIDICULOUS.  For my whole adult life, I have screamed or jumped when someone just enters a room when I am not expecting them.  I have also been on benzos for my whole adult life. 

I really had hoped this stuff was going to get so much better after I finished my taper, but now it looks like I also have to heal from this PTSD, and I have no idea how long that will take and how much I actively have to do. 
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: PTSD Club
« Reply #3 on: March 12, 2019, 10:10:19 pm »
Hi [...] ... I relate to the exaggerated startle response you spoke of, Iíve had the same since forever.  I am really pleased to be working thru my childhood trauma triggers.  What I have discovered is that I donít have to know what happened to me, all I have to do is allow the repressed feelings to surface and just be there with them as they come out.  Life is providing the triggers, I donít have to seek them out.  The best one was being bullied here on BB, it brought up the old repressed feelings when I was treated that way as a child.  Itís all working perfectly, I just have to be present and aware.  I am convinced that I was misdiagnosed as Bipolar and drugged when the real issue is CPTSD.  On the drugs I was unable to feel or process my triggers in a healthy healing manner.  I am embracing that now is my chance to reclaim my authentic self in this recovery process.  For me, coming off the drugs was simply the first step towards my goal of being an empowered, whole and free individual.  Iím doing it and will not stop or be derailed from my chosen path.  Iím happy to be in this place I am now at and be able to give and receive the support of others that want to go the entire distance to wellness in every aspect of self, emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually.   :)
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: PTSD Club
« Reply #4 on: March 12, 2019, 10:50:29 pm »
I'm in the middle of reading Peter Walker's book too.  It's a very good read.  I think I'm dealing with a combo of chemically induced PTSD from the benzos creating a hyper sensitive nervous system, from the benzo experience itself and CPTSD from prior that was reawakened...if that's possible.

I'm hoping everything will calm down in the coming months...but I've always been a little CNS sensitive side my whole life - to sounds for instance, just to name one.  I'm a worrier too by nature.  This experience is teaching me to let go and relax more in order to get through it.  So I'm also hoping this is a mixed blessing, maybe, in the long run.

« Last Edit: March 13, 2019, 02:49:44 am by [Buddie] »
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: PTSD Club
« Reply #5 on: March 13, 2019, 02:16:30 am »
I wanted to reply so I can join in later.

I have been diagnosed with PTSD and itís in my medical record. I kind of wish it wasnít but it did give me a sense of validation. I have a couple of events in my life that would cause PTSD but my diagnosis came from one. Of course, I was diagnosed long after and when my symptoms werenít as severe as they were before.

My symptoms wax and wane with triggers but hypervigilance and an exaggerated startle response are always there to some degree.

Annie
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: PTSD Club
« Reply #6 on: March 13, 2019, 02:28:19 am »
Following
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: PTSD Club
« Reply #7 on: March 13, 2019, 02:41:27 am »
Quote
chemically induced PTSD from the benzos creating a hyper sensitive nervous system

Didn't have a "hyper sensitive nervous system"  before benzos.

How could ANYONE go through this experience, survive to tell about it, and not be left with some
form of PTSD?  This experience has turned my life upside down and inside out. This shouldn't have
happened to me.... shouldn't have happened to anyone of us.   

When this is all said and done, I won't be having someone with "MD" or "PSY" after their name telling me it was my "underlying disorder" that has left me in this condition.

  The invalidation is the hardest part and the fact that itís socially acceptable that a large part of the population is drugged is unacceptable to me.  .

EXACTLY!
« Last Edit: March 13, 2019, 03:04:40 am by [Buddie] »
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: PTSD Club
« Reply #8 on: March 13, 2019, 12:49:50 pm »
thank you for this space + for sharing similar stories of suffering.

deeply resonating.

never Dx'd -- b/c never sought help -- pre-benzo...

but many lifelong traumas led to benzos.... just bit my lip my whole life.

now obsessed w/ 'having my say' to those who hurt me ... but can't while trying to taper....

so desperate to get it off my chest now -- in hope that it will help me heal... b/c traumas led to benzos....

but instead, it just triggers more sxs + PTSD.

so stuck in a vicious cycle atm.

yes -- trying to taper causing PTSD -- b/c Docs messed up so bad has disabled me.

cannot even distract w/ thoughts of happy memories or future happiness -- b/c both make me sad about how healthy i was -- and how disabled i've become.... + yet to taper after so many failed attempts.

thank you for reading x
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: PTSD Club
« Reply #9 on: March 13, 2019, 02:18:38 pm »
[...] - I know exactly what you mean about needing to have your say...

I went through a very long period - while still on the klon - of being haunted by memories and feeling if I did say something it would come out all dark and twisted.  But still feeling the need to say it.  Just like I became hugely allergic to some food and some cosmetics, I became hugely 'allergic' to certain people  :)  and situations and have learned to protect myself while going through the healing process.

Lots of journaling helped.   And I realized the only thing that mattered is that me, myself and I hear and respect those feelings.  Some typical life situations I know I'll be better at dealing with as time rolls along and my CNS gets patched back to health.  But the blessing is I see clearly that some things will be always be best avoided.

I'm assuming at some point post benzos I will no longer be afraid of daylight, nighttime and tying my shoelaces  :)  but a lot of good lifelong lessons have been learned.  Like I'm worth taking care of and protecting.  That alone is helping my CNS, my psyche and soul heal...that I know I am there for myself now.

Blessings on your journey to true wholeness everyone.....
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.