Looking for Buddies - LT High dose Xanax direct taper 1/2 way there!

 

                Hi Lori,

                                It's great to see the progress you've made.

 

    I know a benzo is a benzo, but I like you am on Xanax and have been since March 2015 @ 1.5 mg, bedtime.

 

    I'm a caregiver for my mom with dementia and got on this poison as a way to help me sleep.

 

    To be brutally honest, I've been wanting to taper for more than 2 1/2 years now and have been too chicken to start.

 

    I've considered the LT method and direct cut dry method.............I've heard the pros and cons of both.

 

    I also would like to make 25% reductions to expedite the process, but then I hear horror stories by some folks that say it's way too fast and the w/d and s/x's are unbearable.

 

      Anyway, I know we're all different but I see your initial cuts were 25% and then you had to updose a bit near the end.

 

    Did you have a lot of unbearable days and nights with those large cuts?

 

                                                                                                                                                                            Thanks

 

                Hi Lori,

                                It's great to see the progress you've made.

 

    I know a benzo is a benzo, but I like you am on Xanax and have been since March 2015 @ 1.5 mg, bedtime.

 

    I'm a caregiver for my mom with dementia and got on this poison as a way to help me sleep.

 

    To be brutally honest, I've been wanting to taper for more than 2 1/2 years now and have been too chicken to start.

 

    I've considered the LT method and direct cut dry method.............I've heard the pros and cons of both.

 

    I also would like to make 25% reductions to expedite the process, but then I hear horror stories by some folks that say it's way too fast and the w/d and s/x's are unbearable.

 

      Anyway, I know we're all different but I see your initial cuts were 25% and then you had to updose a bit near the end.

 

    Did you have a lot of unbearable days and nights with those large cuts?

 

                                                                                                                                                                            Thanks

 

The first piece of advice is that you need to disassociate Xanax and sleep. I too used Xanax to sleep after months of dealing with insomnia and took too much Trazadone during a panic attack. Ended up in the ER where I was started on Xanax. I thought it was the cure for my issue and quickly made the assumption that Xanax = sleep.

 

My doc told me that I need to break that thought process as I taper off.  Xanax has only relaxed me enough to sleep, I’m not dependent on it to sleep.

 

It’s not easy to do which is why I introduced Remeron during my taper which has really helped. I’m not recommending it because everyone reacts differently but I’ve dry cut from 1.25mg to 0.875mg over the past few weeks with symptoms but I’ve been handling it all right. 0.125mg at a time. I’ll probably have to slow down a bit towards the end but I’m still chugging along.

 

                Hi Lori,

                                It's great to see the progress you've made.

 

    I know a benzo is a benzo, but I like you am on Xanax and have been since March 2015 @ 1.5 mg, bedtime.

 

    I'm a caregiver for my mom with dementia and got on this poison as a way to help me sleep.

 

    To be brutally honest, I've been wanting to taper for more than 2 1/2 years now and have been too chicken to start.

 

    I've considered the LT method and direct cut dry method.............I've heard the pros and cons of both.

 

    I also would like to make 25% reductions to expedite the process, but then I hear horror stories by some folks that say it's way too fast and the w/d and s/x's are unbearable.

 

      Anyway, I know we're all different but I see your initial cuts were 25% and then you had to updose a bit near the end.

 

    Did you have a lot of unbearable days and nights with those large cuts?

 

                                                                                                                                                                            Thanks

 

The .25 cuts were okay in the beginning because I was on such a high dose.  However, I "strongly" recommend that you do NOT do such large cuts throughout your taper.  The last cut I made was intense (still is), as I got literally slammed with side effects that have been horrible.  However, it was an 18% cut from 1.75!  NOT GOOD!

 

The rule of thumb is 5-10% cuts every two weeks.  I'm praying to stabilize on the 1.5 dose even if it takes me 2 weeks to do so and then resume my taper with 10% cuts (or less if need be).  Trust me, I want off of this stuff as quickly as possible.  I've been at it for far too long.  However, I have to accept that rushing a taper just to say that I'm finally off of them is a foolish way to go.  The chances of getting slammed after your taper are far greater if you go to fast.  I'm gradually learning to be patient and accept that this is my fate .... for now. 

 

Also, please keep in mind that I have been on these for so much longer than you... Over 20 years!  Nevertheless, any long term use (greater than 6 weeks or so) is going to require a slow, methodical, symptom based taper. 

 

Hang in there!  We'll all get through this!

 

Fondly,

Lori

 

                Thank you both for your advice and input.

 

  I've been looking into tapering for over 2 1/2 years and if I started with a slow method then, I'd be off by now

 

    Well, again thanks for the advice and whether it will be dry or LT, it will definitely be slow and continued success with your tapers also.

 

                                                                                                                                                                                      Al

 

                                                                                                                           

checking in to see how all are doing.

 

Hopefully no news is good news! 

 

Lori

My DLMT is going well. Cutting about 11% every 14 days.

Minimal symptoms but I never hold.

I push through and the symptoms come and go.

So far this is totally manageable. 

I'm holding at 0.375 mg until I come back from my trip, which will be in 2 weeks. I'm taking one quarter of a 0.5 mg pill 3 times a day. Then when I come back from my vacation I'll start tapering again. Maybe more slowly this time.

Hey guys- there's another thread that I've been posting in but I'll switch full time to this one.

 

Just an update, I've cut down to 0.75mg once nightly as of Friday night.  Got some really good sleep over the weekend... maybe too much.  I've also had some stomach issues which I can't fully associate with the taper so I'm not going to worry too much about it. 

 

I didn't get great sleep last night probably because my stomach was so upset but the bright side is that I didn't updose (before the taper this would have happened, no doubt).  I feel good.  Best I've felt in a long, long time.  I talked with my psych doc Wednesday night and basically I was told that I'm not physically addicted to the X because I only take it at night.  What I've really been doing is keeping my night time anxiety under control and not over reacting to insomnia. I need to "do my part" physically (relax my muscles and do square breathing) and also accept the fact that I might not fall asleep right away.  It's been an adjustment but even my mood during the day as been so much better. 

 

It sounds so dumb, but it makes sense.  I'm happy where I'm at and will continue to taper at the rate I feel comfortable at.  If I'm consistent I have just over a month left and this crap will all be over.

 

I did come to terms with the idea that my anxiety is completely related to tapering not necessarily rebound anxiety or anything else.  It's all psychological and not physical.  Then again, I'm in month 6 and I've been actively tapering since March 1st so it hasn't been long.  Also, since I only take 1 dose at night and never had an even benzo level my body is used to going without the drug during the day.  Everyone is different, but understanding the physical symptoms are caused by my psychological dependency has helped me through the process as well.

 

I hope everyone is doing great!  I'm here to talk if someone needs support.

Hi everyone,

I hope everyone is doing good today.  I am hanging in there.  I am thinking about doing another cut  tomorrow but am not sure yet. 

 

Lori, I see you made another cut - Good for you!  I hope you are doing well.

 

Take care,

Julia

Hi all,

Well, this is day 4 on this reduction and yesterday and today I feel like crap.  chest pains, stomach hurts and headaches.  I am going to keep going though, I know this too shall pass but I sure wish it would pass sooner than later. 

 

I hope you all are having a good day!!

 

Julia

following

I'm tapering xanax. It was going pretty well till last weekend. I updosed to one quarter of a 0.5 mg tablet on Sunday and Monday, and all my sumptoms disappeared. So I'm trying to stabilize on 0.125mg for a bit. I have a weeklong trip to Paris in 3 weeks. I was to be hoping to be done with all this by the time of my Paris trip, but that seems out of the question now. So maybe I'll just hold at a quarter of a pill per day.

 

Hello Hope,

I had the project of this trip to the US, with my tickets and hotel reservations already paid, and I was so concerned as I was afraid of feeling bad away from home (Argentina).

So I left, because of that and also my wife's pressure to go...

And I can tell you that I was so surprised about being distracted and happy of being abroad with friends, that it gave me the courage also to jump...without any doubt of what I was doing, I had the strength to do it!!!

Obviously I had some symptoms, that affected me mostly when I returned home. And they still do...

But that's OK. I am now in a different phase of my healing process: dealing with my symptoms, but away from the pills!!!

Maybe you can do it too...and Paris is such a beautiful city and with so many things to do, that will give you enough distractions to leave your self-awareness back home!

I am thankful to hear about fellow Xanax taperers. Sorry we are in this boat but nice to relate as I am alone with sons now grown (but do have an ornery cat I love).

 

Lori - I hope you get some relief for the stomach problems and esp before your husband leaves on his trip.

 

Julia - Nice on dropping lower but not on feeling bad. The amounts sound so small but have such an impact. I'm wobbling on the tightrope at the moment on doses.

 

Rodolfo - It was great to hear that you're having a nice trip. Hope you're in a fun U.S. city. I live in the U.S. but lived in Greece and Japan. I find different cultures so interesting and hope to be able to travel again some day.

 

Jimberland - Anxiety to tapering makes sense. I second guess now on what is physical for real and what is taper. I will try to join you in chilling.

 

I hope it's okay to join you guys. I am a long term Xanax user who had never heard the word benzo until January and did not know why I was feeling so bad. I have considered DMTL but have only dry cut so far.

Hi All,

Hope today is a good day!

 

Lilyann - sorry you are having a rough time.  For me I have been tapering since January and gone down from 3.50 mg to now 2.50 mg.  It is hard each time I taper but it does not usually last but a few days and I stabilize.  I would try to stabilize where you are and hold there for a week or so or until you feel you can taper further.  Listen to your body is what I hear on here alot and it does work.

 

You are welcome here!!  We are all here for each other.  Without this forum I do not know what I would do.  My doctor does not want me coming off Xanax after over 2 years but he is not the one having all the medical problems from taking it so he is not being kind about the taper but did agree to it. 

 

I am taking it one day at a time.  Come here and post as much as you want!  That is what BB uis for - support.

 

Take care,

Julia

I am thankful to hear about fellow Xanax taperers. Sorry we are in this boat but nice to relate as I am alone with sons now grown (but do have an ornery cat I love).

 

Lori - I hope you get some relief for the stomach problems and esp before your husband leaves on his trip.

 

Julia - Nice on dropping lower but not on feeling bad. The amounts sound so small but have such an impact. I'm wobbling on the tightrope at the moment on doses.

 

Rodolfo - It was great to hear that you're having a nice trip. Hope you're in a fun U.S. city. I live in the U.S. but lived in Greece and Japan. I find different cultures so interesting and hope to be able to travel again some day.

 

Jimberland - Anxiety to tapering makes sense. I second guess now on what is physical for real and what is taper. I will try to join you in chilling.

 

I hope it's okay to join you guys. I am a long term Xanax user who had never heard the word benzo until January and did not know why I was feeling so bad. I have considered DMTL but have only dry cut so far.

 

Lillann, Hang in there!  It looks like you initially did a very rapid taper by all standards.  Don't beat yourself up over it.  Continue at a pace that is tolerable.  You'll make it through... so many before us have!  You can do this!

 

Julia, thanks!  I'm taking one day at a time.  Today, physical symptoms of the taper (dizziness, numbness, etc) are really bad but I also know that I've cut a bit too fast recently.  I will wait to stabilize on this dose and then go a bit slower from then.  Ironically, my mind feels clearer today even though by body feels like crap!  Go figure.  No rhyme or reason to this poison!  UGH!

 

I'm trying to put out of my mind the stomach issues, the chest X-Ray, etc.  Not much I can do about it on a Sunday.  Right now, I'm just pushing through the physical xanax side effects, trying to remember that this will eventually pass in about a week and then I'll gear up for the next reduction down to 1.25.  No going back!

 

Hope all are doing well!  And I mimic what Julia said.... ALL are welcome!  We'll get through this! 

 

Fondly,

Lori

Thanks for the words of encouragement.

 

Julia - I wonder why some doctors think it is better to stay on? Perhaps they are worried about safety. I just feel that Xanax does really bad stuff to my mind and body and that it would be much better to get off though quite difficult.

 

Lori - The numbers sounded so small, and I did not find BB until down to 1.5. There's so much info here and so many ideas (and a lot about other benzos where the amounts are not equivalent).

 

You are dry cutting with a nail file right?

 

I have mentally gone back and forth about the liquid titration. It seemed very confusing but not as much with a couple of links someone shared. A relative who is a nurse did not like that idea. She never really said why but said she wouldn't mix more than one day to see how that went.

 

Hope everyone is having a good or better day. I fell asleep for a nap which almost never happens these days, so that was a good treat.

Thanks for the words of encouragement.

 

Julia - I wonder why some doctors think it is better to stay on? Perhaps they are worried about safety. I just feel that Xanax does really bad stuff to my mind and body and that it would be much better to get off though quite difficult.

 

Lori - The numbers sounded so small, and I did not find BB until down to 1.5. There's so much info here and so many ideas (and a lot about other benzos where the amounts are not equivalent).

 

You are dry cutting with a nail file right?

 

I have mentally gone back and forth about the liquid titration. It seemed very confusing but not as much with a couple of links someone shared. A relative who is a nurse did not like that idea. She never really said why but said she wouldn't mix more than one day to see how that went.

 

Hope everyone is having a good or better day. I fell asleep for a nap which almost never happens these days, so that was a good treat.

 

Lillyann, I have to ask... what is your rationale for cutting as you are because it might be why you're having such problems. It's very erratic.

 

 

3/22 - .625

3/23 - .5 plus another .125 (and we shall see where this goes) Change in dosing times?

3/24 - .375 Large Cut - one day

3/25 - .625 Back up again - one day

3/27 - .5 Cut in two days

3/30 - .625 Back up again in 3 days

 

Every day (or 2-3) you're changing your dose (up and down) rather than sticking with a dose for 10-14 days and then decreasing by 5-10 percent.  I am totally not trying to judge you, rather I'm concerned that maybe this is why you are struggling - especially after having "jumped" at a higher dose (.357 after only a few days on the dose) than recommended for discontinuing.  You might want to stay at a dose that is tolerable for you and then do much smaller cuts. 

 

Hope you're doing okay!

 

Fondly,

Lori

 

yep

Hi all,

 

Lilyann - my opinion is that, in my case, the doctor that I go to just wants to keep me on meds like he does to so many other patients so he does not have to deal with us.  Every time I go to him, its like a swinging door, I see so many people go in for 5 minutes and then leave and the same with me.  I also do not think they have enough education on how bad this drug is.  My therapist who has been practicing for over 30 years told me he had never heard of anyone having issues with Xanax - I would like to know where the heck he has been all these years!!! 

Anyway - I am on a mission to get better and that means getting off this medication that has taken the last few years of my life away from me.  Stay strong and do what you need to do for you and listen to your body.

 

Lori - I hope you are doing better.  I went to my doctor on Monday and she sent me to have a CT scan for my stomach and they still do not know why I am in such pain.  They did find a cyst on my kidney and that I have a fatty liver and some of my artery shows plaque buildup which scares me!!  Even still - they do not think any of this could be causing my pain.  I am going to a GI doctor and have a colonoscopy and endoscopy done to see if they find anything.  I am not looking forward to that either!  I am wondering if its from the taper - it would not surprise me.

 

Hope everyone is having at least a tolerable day!!

 

Take care - we will all get better!!

 

Julia

Julia,

 

Feel so bad that you're having the stomach problems! I'm right there with you.  I ended up in the ER on Saturday night.  So stupid of me to go... they don't do diagnostic testing. I'm also going to the Gastroenterologist next week.  We can compare notes.    However, I'm starting to think it's the taper! Ironic that Sunday and Monday I felt fine.  Burning was gone!  No way that one dose of Pepsid fixed it.  I need to get out of my own head! 

 

Nevertheless, I'm still going to follow up with GI doc.  Will keep you posted.  Hang in there!  Thinking of you! 

 

Hugs,

Lori

Hi all reading everyone’s post  I am on Ativan and micro tapering , filing and weighing . Trying to cut every seven days but the lower I go the harder it gets . Went too fast once won’t do that ever again . Can’t believe in my 50s I am going thru this . Similar issues Lori . I feel for everyone just want my old self back . Lisa

Hi Lori,

I have not been on since yesterday.  I am sorry you are having the same issues too with your stomach.  It seems strange to me too - I hurt on and off during the day and then when I lay down at night - the pain is pretty intense.  I have to keep turning from one side to the other trying to get some relief.  By morning I am not hurting until I get up and start moving around and some days its pain all day and then some days its off and on.  Today has not been too bad.  I am also thinking it may be the taper.  It started getting worse once I started this last taper 10 days ago.  After a few days is when the pain started to spread and get intense at night.

 

I saw my psychiatrist yesterday to get my prescription and I do not know what the heck his problem is but he had to write my prescription 3 times before he got it right and when I took it to the pharmacy, they said there was still a mistake on it but they were able to fix it.  I will be so glad to be off this poison and can stop going there.  I did ask him if I could come every 2 months instead of every month and he agreed.  They for some reason checked my blood pressure and it was 161/98 which upset me.  I was anxious about seeing him so that is probably why it spiked.  I had my husband check it after we got home and it had gone down to 145/85. 

 

I am sorry the ER did not help you - it feels like there is really no where we can go to get the help we need.  I have to call the GI's office Monday and see if I have to go in or if he will just schedule the tests.  I really do not think the tests will be the answer either but we'll give it a shot.  Not looking forward to the prep for the colonoscopy.  I have never had one and I have to do the gallon jug of meds because I am so allergic to meds the GI doctor said this would be the safest way to go.

 

Once that is done my regular doctor is putting me on cholesterol medicine and I am stressing over that because I do not know if I will have an allergic reaction to them or not.  It is a mess!!!

 

I wanted to do another taper in another 10 days but I am going to see how I am doing and then decide.

 

I'm with you - I need to get out of my own head too!!!! 

 

Take care and keep me posted on how you are.

 

Hugs,

Julia

Morning all,

 

I hope everyone is hanging in there.

 

Hi Lori - I hope you are doing ok today!  Remember I am here for you.  One day at a time - heck - one breath at a time sometimes! 

 

I am getting ready to call the GI doctor's office to see what they have to say.  I really do not want to do those test but I guess I have to.  If I don't, my regular doctor will be upset.  The last time they were cancelled was because of my blood pressure spikes and I am still having them so I do not know what is going to happen.  It could be the white coat syndrome but I do not know.

 

Let me know how things are going in your world today. 

 

Take care.

 

Julia

Hi all reading everyone’s post  I am on Ativan and micro tapering , filing and weighing . Trying to cut every seven days but the lower I go the harder it gets . Went too fast once won’t do that ever again . Can’t believe in my 50s I am going thru this . Similar issues Lori . I feel for everyone just want my old self back . Lisa

 

Hi Tech!  It looks like you're moving along nicely! Way to go!  Welcome to the "in our 50's" club.  Ugh!  If I could turn back time to the day when my then PD first prescribed this!  Oh how different my life would be.  But here we all are.. and we'll get through this.  Wishing you much luck and health.  Keep us posted on your taper.

 

Fondly,

Lori

Hi Lori,

 

Yes. I was all over the place with cutting and feeling so bad I'd bounce back up. I just want off the Xanax but see that I'm not doing it right. So, I went into panic mode and erased as much of my post and sig as I could. I did not panic due to thinking you were judging me. It's much more about a family expectation of perfection and secrecy. I've even been told not to tell my step-father about this and also that he thinks I'm avoiding me. Anyway - sorry.

 

I am reading and thinking and need to stabilize first and then have an actual schedule/plan and not let anything have me all over the map with changes every couple of days.

 

I will work on my signature and try to get it in order so that it makes sense.

 

Thank you for asking. It was helpful. As for my answer - confusion all over the place.