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Looking for Buddies - LT High dose Xanax direct taper 1/2 way there!


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Hello all! I decided to start a new thread to replace the "It's me again, ...." and the "Dry Cutting Looking for Buddies" threads.  Last year we had a very supportive group on those threads but quite a few have since completed their taper - and I'm happy to report that they are doing very well! Translated: there's hope for the rest of us!  :thumbsup: Unfortunately, some others seemed to have dropped off for various reasons. 

 

At the moment, I'm still doing cut and hold method.  Once I get to 1 mg, I may entertain DMLT but for now, I'm hanging in there with what I know. Crossing over to Valium is not an option for me. 

 

I am hoping that others who are going through a long term prescribed use of Xanax can chime in on this journey.  As you'll see in my signature, my highest dose was 6 mgs.  Currently, I'm on my first day of 1.5 and hoping for the best!  Fingers crossed! 

 

Hope to find some old buddies I've lost touch with as well as some new buddies to continue this journey! 

 

Fondly,

Lori

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best wishes! :)

 

Hi FI!

 

I have to ask... after such a long taper and going pretty far down, what made you updose to 1.0 again?  I hope all is okay. 

 

Lori

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Hi Lori. No t long term but tapering off low dose Xanax.

You'd think at my dose this wouldn't even be a thing but it is.

 

You have come such a long way - that's awesome.

People like you inspire me and keep me going slow and steady every day.  :)

 

 

 

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Lori,

 

I'm doing ok, thanks.

 

I tried to w/d only because my doctor suggested that I give it a try. I believe he suggested that I give it a try due to pressures exerted from groups outside of the medical community. My doctor has subsequently agreed with me that I should not continue a benzo taper or w/d protocol at this time.

 

I decided to up-dose because:

 

a) tapering caused my cognition and physical abilities to be compromised to the degree that I was no longer able to provide the support system to which my friends & family were accustomed and depend upon.

 

b) tapering caused my quality of life to deteriorate to such an extent that my life was no longer enjoyable or acceptable for me.

 

c) based upon my research, I don't believe my symptoms will improve for the foreseeable future if I continue down the path of w/d & cessation. However, I remain hopeful that science will someday provide better treatments for symptoms of iatrogenic damages caused by benzos.

 

and

 

d) I have never suffered from paradoxical effects from benzos (knock wood). 

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I'm tapering xanax. It was going pretty well till last weekend. I updosed to one quarter of a 0.5 mg tablet on Sunday and Monday, and all my sumptoms disappeared. So I'm trying to stabilize on 0.125mg for a bit. I have a weeklong trip to Paris in 3 weeks. I was to be hoping to be done with all this by the time of my Paris trip, but that seems out of the question now. So maybe I'll just hold at a quarter of a pill per day.
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I'm tapering xanax. It was going pretty well till last weekend. I updosed to one quarter of a 0.5 mg tablet on Sunday and Monday, and all my sumptoms disappeared. So I'm trying to stabilize on 0.125mg for a bit. I have a weeklong trip to Paris in 3 weeks. I was to be hoping to be done with all this by the time of my Paris trip, but that seems out of the question now. So maybe I'll just hold at a quarter of a pill per day.

 

Hang in there!  You're doing soooo well!  Be proud of your accomplishments and don't focus on a minor set back.  You got this!  Will say a prayer for you.  I totally understand what you mean about having had hope to be done with this.  Last year I truly thought I'd be finished by now.  My son is studying abroad in London this semester and my husband and sister-in-law are visiting him in Ireland next month.  I won't be joining them.  My heart is broken over it.  I just don't see how I can possible do it.  My son is my world and to be missing this time with him is devastating! 

 

Again, hang in there!  You're doing so well!

 

Fondly,

Lori

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Lori,

 

I'm doing ok, thanks.

 

I tried to w/d only because my doctor suggested that I give it a try. I believe he suggested that I give it a try due to pressures exerted from groups outside of the medical community. My doctor has subsequently agreed with me that I should not continue a benzo taper or w/d protocol at this time.

 

I decided to up-dose because:

 

a) tapering caused my cognition and physical abilities to be compromised to the degree that I was no longer able to provide the support system to which my friends & family were accustomed and depend upon.

 

b) tapering caused my quality of life to deteriorate to such an extent that my life was no longer enjoyable or acceptable for me.

 

c) based upon my research, I don't believe my symptoms will improve for the foreseeable future if I continue down the path of w/d & cessation. However, I remain hopeful that science will someday provide better treatments for symptoms of iatrogenic damages caused by benzos.

 

and

 

d) I have never suffered from paradoxical effects from benzos (knock wood).

 

So sorry to hear but you know your body and limitations better than anyone!  Hang in there!  You'll do this when you're ready.  Zero judgment here!  Just glad that you're okay! 

 

Keep in touch.

 

Best to you!

Lori

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I'm tapering xanax. It was going pretty well till last weekend. I updosed to one quarter of a 0.5 mg tablet on Sunday and Monday, and all my sumptoms disappeared. So I'm trying to stabilize on 0.125mg for a bit. I have a weeklong trip to Paris in 3 weeks. I was to be hoping to be done with all this by the time of my Paris trip, but that seems out of the question now. So maybe I'll just hold at a quarter of a pill per day.

 

Hang in there!  You're doing soooo well!  Be proud of your accomplishments and don't focus on a minor set back.  You got this!  Will say a prayer for you.  I totally understand what you mean about having had hope to be done with this.  Last year I truly thought I'd be finished by now.  My son is studying abroad in London this semester and my husband and sister-in-law are visiting him in Ireland next month.  I won't be joining them.  My heart is broken over it.  I just don't see how I can possible do it.  My son is my world and to be missing this time with him is devastating! 

 

Again, hang in there!  You're doing so well!

 

Fondly,

Lori

 

Oh thank you dear Lori. That's too bad about your trip to Europe. I'm totally dreading my trip to Paris, but too late, tickets are bought and hotel reservations made! "dreading my trip to Paris" sounds so ridiculous. but it's true! I can see why you wouldn't take a trip to Europe, but it still sucks to make that decision.

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Hi Lori,

 

I wish you all the best with your taper. You are down a lot already.

 

So sorry about you missing the trip.

 

I went overseas to see my son. I slipped in the rain forest and cut my knee on a rock. The whole leg was infected the next day. I almost lost it and spent Christmas in the hospital overseas and New Year's in the hospital stateside. Knee is okay now thankfully.

 

LA

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Hi Lori,

 

I wish you all the best with your taper. You are down a lot already.

 

So sorry about you missing the trip.

 

I went overseas to see my son. I slipped in the rain forest and cut my knee on a rock. The whole leg was infected the next day. I almost lost it and spent Christmas in the hospital overseas and New Year's in the hospital stateside. Knee is okay now thankfully.

 

LA

 

So sorry to hear about your leg!  UGH!  I can't imagine.  But i'm happy to hear that you're doing much better! 

 

You've made significant progress in your taper.  How are your symptoms?  It looks like you jumped and then went back on a very small dose.  How long were you on higher doses?  Your signature gives me hope especially today when side effects are pretty severe! 

 

Lori

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Ugh I'm feeling awful today! I'm wondering if my thyroid is out of wack. My last test results were a little bit off, but my doctor said it was ok, and test in 3 months again.

 

Or maybe it's because I switched manufacturers of alprazolam. I had actavis before, round pink pills. Now the pills are oval and yellow. I've switched manufacturers before, with no problem. Could this be throwing me for a loop?

 

Brain spinning out of control. Internal tremors, skin burning. This is terrible. I only felt this way twice before.  Once when I first tried to cut 25% from my daily dose (not knowing any better). The other time was when my thyroid hormone dose was too high.

 

Yick

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Hi Lori and everyone,

Lori- looks like starting a new thread was a great idea on your part.  I am so grateful you did.  I hope you will feel better soon.  I sent you a reply message and it is long so take your time getting to it.  Had more to say than I thought but it was good to get some things out.  Bless you for being encouraging and supportive.

 

I am so sorry about your trip and not being able to see your son.  You are in my prayers.

 

Fi - I agree with Lori - no judgement- I wish you the best.  We all have to do what we need to do to best help ourselves.

 

HopeToDoThis - I have read that taking generic benzo's can react differently and cause other problems.  Right now I am taking the blue ones (1 mg pill) and orange ones( .50 mg pill)  I am splitting them as I take my daily amount in 4 doses.

 

I hope everyone will stay and we can support each other.  I am thankful that this site exist and that I have already found some people here that are wonderful and caring.

 

We all need each other.  We can fight this and win!!!!   

 

It would be great if anyone wants to share their taper schedule and time line as it will give me an idea of what I should be doing because I am not sure of what to do and how fast to do it.  I am sticking to the Xanax and cutting my pills at this point.  So far I have been tapering .25 mg each month.  I do not know if that is too fast and do not want to run into terrible symptoms.  I started at 3.50 mg a day and as of yesterday am at 2.75 mg a day in 4 does each day.  (I am not good at percentages and math)

 

Take care everyone.

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Hi Lori - I'm not sure how long I've been on Xanax. I am certain I was on it twelve years back but maybe as much as 17 years.

 

A new GP told me tat Xanax was bad long term and suggested a taper but with no guidance. I went down from 3 (4 on a few days and per prescription @ 4 per day x 1 mg).

 

Before the taper, I'm sure I had w/d between doses but was not aware that was an issue. In addition to the overseas fall and leg infection, a runner on a basement step slipped, and I went face first down the steps. That rolled the skin on my right leg down like a sock. I ended up with a pig skin graft as the place would not heal.

 

The taper started Oct 2018 but was quite random. I'd cut a bit and not go back up. I did end up out cold in the floor twice. It's possible I had seizures, but my blood sugar was wacked, and I've had a low pulse. I live alone and had no warning so don't know about those passing out spells.

 

In Jan 2019 I had read more and found BB. I cut from 1.5 down to .5 over a quick time period. S/x were brutal. Along with the physical stuff, I felt outside my body. I was not taking care of myself much. My blood sugar was bad enough that my new GP was talking insulin.

 

Due to my poor overall state, the GP wanted me on 1.5 Xanax. I actually take .5 with .25 in the am and .25 in the pm. I've stabilized fairly well at the .5. I will wait to cut a little more until after this weekend when my son visits.

 

My goal is to get off Xanax. I did go too fast in Jan. I'll be more careful as I get off the last .5.

 

Hope that helps a little.

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HopeTpDoThis - I can only speak from my experience, but when I've been given round shaped Xanax generics, I've felt like I've been in full blown cold turkey.

 

About a year or two ago, the pharmacy gave me round alprazalam which did nothing. I traded them back for football shaped ones after two days and forgot about it. The new .25 pills that I got last month were also the round brand and did not work at all. I had plenty of .5 left so split them until I got a new prescription which I filled but checked before I left that they were my usual brand and football shaped.

 

I'm not sure what the difference is between brands, but my body and mind sure notice.

 

I'm sorry that you're having a rough time. My experience is that changing brands is awful. Perhaps you could speak to your doctor or pharmacist about trading out for your usual brand.

 

All the best to you and hope you feel better soon.

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Goodness Lilyann it sounds like you've been through a ringer. My pills have always been 0.5 mg. I was good with the pink footballs and the pink rounds. But I think these yellow footballs are throwing me for a loop. I took a quarter of one of the pink round ones I have left earlier and in an hour I felt much better. Tomorrow I'll take pieces of the yellow ones and see how that goes. I'll forget the liquid for a few days.
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HopeTpDoThis - I can only speak from my experience, but when I've been given round shaped Xanax generics, I've felt like I've been in full blown cold turkey.

 

About a year or two ago, the pharmacy gave me round alprazalam which did nothing. I traded them back for football shaped ones after two days and forgot about it. The new .25 pills that I got last month were also the round brand and did not work at all. I had plenty of .5 left so split them until I got a new prescription which I filled but checked before I left that they were my usual brand and football shaped.

 

I'm not sure what the difference is between brands, but my body and mind sure notice.

 

I'm sorry that you're having a rough time. My experience is that changing brands is awful. Perhaps you could speak to your doctor or pharmacist about trading out for your usual brand.

 

All the best to you and hope you feel better soon.

 

Ditto on the "round shaped" xanax!  I believe they were Activis (sp)?  I had a horrible time with them! I'm now using an online pharmacy as per my insurance and they are able to order Greenstone for me which are the oval shaped pills. Sandoz makes them as well - that was the company I had been prescribed from for over a decade but both my local pharmacies and my online pharmacy do not carry them any longer.  Hence, I had to ask them to please fill Greenstone only.  There's speculation on whether they are the company who manufacture them the same as Pfizer (the original manufacturer of Xanax) or not.  All I know is that they are far better than the Activis (sp) that I had taken!  Also, Teva did not work well either!

 

My doctor has been wonderful in writing scripts for 1, .5 and .25 mg pills to use as needed. 

 

Lori

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Hi Lori and everyone,

Lori- looks like starting a new thread was a great idea on your part.  I am so grateful you did.  I hope you will feel better soon.  I sent you a reply message and it is long so take your time getting to it.  Had more to say than I thought but it was good to get some things out.  Bless you for being encouraging and supportive.

 

I am so sorry about your trip and not being able to see your son.  You are in my prayers.

 

Fi - I agree with Lori - no judgement- I wish you the best.  We all have to do what we need to do to best help ourselves.

 

HopeToDoThis - I have read that taking generic benzo's can react differently and cause other problems.  Right now I am taking the blue ones (1 mg pill) and orange ones( .50 mg pill)  I am splitting them as I take my daily amount in 4 doses.

 

I hope everyone will stay and we can support each other.  I am thankful that this site exist and that I have already found some people here that are wonderful and caring.

 

We all need each other.  We can fight this and win!!!!   

 

It would be great if anyone wants to share their taper schedule and time line as it will give me an idea of what I should be doing because I am not sure of what to do and how fast to do it.  I am sticking to the Xanax and cutting my pills at this point.  So far I have been tapering .25 mg each month.  I do not know if that is too fast and do not want to run into terrible symptoms.  I started at 3.50 mg a day and as of yesterday am at 2.75 mg a day in 4 does each day.  (I am not good at percentages and math)

 

Take care everyone.

 

Thanks soooo much for your note!  I promise I will respond when my head is more clear! My husband just did the math for me and I did not realize that I just made an 18% cut!  DUMB, DUMB, DUMB!  No wonder why I'm feeling so bad!  I haven't felt this bad in a year!  UGH!  My own fault!

 

Will get back to you as soon as I can.

 

So glad you're here! 

 

Hugs to all!

 

Lori

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Hi Lori,

 

Oh my goodness, I hope you are feeling better today!  18% is ALOT.  I am not good at math anymore so I have no idea what percentage I am doing.  I just know I am doing .25 mg a month.  I guess I will keep doing that until I start having bad symptons and then figure out what I need to do.  I am better than yesterday.  This is day 3 of the new taper.

 

Take your time responding to me.  I totally understand feeling HIRRIBLE! 

 

Take care and we will chat soon. 

 

You are in my thoughts and prayers.

 

Hugs back at cha!!

 

Julia

 

I hope everyone else is doing good today!! :)

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My yellow football pills are like they have nothing in them! I've taken 0.25 mg already today and I'm having horrible symptoms. Can't focus, lightheaded, internal trembling, muscle burning.

 

Man this sucks.

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HopeToDoThis - Can you get in touch with the doctor or pharmacist? I know I got my round duds changed out. It really is awful when the different meds react in different ways. My heart goes out to you.

 

Lori - My new GP was fine about .5 and then .25. He just thinks I'm taking more than what I am taking.

 

I'm not sure how your concentration is on the taper. Math is not my best subject either (and really stressful while tapering). I have found that I can google "blank is what percent of blank" on Google and get a calculator where I just plug in the numbers.

 

Julia - I hope you are having a good day.

 

Did anyone see the post under benzos in the news about the Perdue family and how they intentionally got doctors to write more oxi prescriptions? The original article posted plus some others on video or with extra details were really good. Big pharma needs to answer for the things they have done and are doing to people.

 

 

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Hi everyone,

I hope everyone is doing ok. 

 

Lilyann:  Thanks for asking, I am doing ok.  A littke off but hanging in there.  I am NOT good with the percentages either.  I found this on BB a week or so ago even though I am still at a loss as to how to use it and know what I should be doing but maybe it will help you.

 

http://benzo.alwaysdata.net/direct/directForm.php

 

I also thought back and realized that I had an issue with the round Xanax too.  I went to a different pharmacy one time and they game me the round white ones and I could tell they were not the same as the ones I had been taking.  (They did not work for me)  I called them and asked if they had the peachy colored .50 mg ones and they did not so I did not go there anymore.

 

Lori - I am so glad you are here too!!! 

 

 

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Feeling like I’m more stabilized today, pretty happy about that. I take my nightly dose in 20 minutes and the internal tremors have kicked up a bit but nothing I can’t handle.

 

It’s the calm before the storm with the next cut coming up Friday night.

 

I realize I’m posting in a long term group and I’m a short term user but just wanted to check in especially since we’re an X crowd. Symptoms really wore off around the 5 day mark and peaked at day 3-4.  But again, I’m only short term and a one a day person so I’m sure it’s going to differ.

 

I have Valium as a backup. My doc gave it to me to taper with after suggesting Klonopin first but I pushed for V. At this point I’m sticking with X and seeing how far I go. I did get scared off a bit because I started at 1.25mg of X and they gave me 20mg of Valium. It seemed high but im assuming it was because the crossover wouldn’t be a picnic. I really didn’t want to updose to cross over, so onward.

 

On a side note, I went over to reddit today and saw a ton of posts glamorizing Benzo use. It really bothered me. if these kids only knew what they were playing with. It seems like everyone here really got into a situation that they didn’t fully understand the ramifications of. That, I fully understand because it happened to me, but these posts were hard to read.

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Glad to hear that you’re doing better! I’ve had a rough few days but praying that I stabilize soon. Well, I haven’t been stable, per say for years but a gal can hope! :).

 

Sorry this is brief but I’m checking in from my phone.

 

Just wanted to see how all are doing. Hang in there! We’ll get through this!!

 

Fondly,

Lori

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I replied to the wrong thread earlier.

 

I’m feeling pretty good today after cutting Friday. Hope things keep going well!

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