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Been a while / Final Story 7 years off


[Bi...]

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Doubt if anyone is still around that remembers me, as I was mostly on years ago.

 

In 2003, I was put on Klonopin starting at 0.5mg PRN. and by 2007, my dosage increased to a large mg. I don't really recall the milligram, but it was a hefty dose around the clock. I was also on a plethora of other medications I ct'ed. I forget what all they were. I tried everything trying to come off Klonopin and was unsuccessful. I switched to Valium at 40mg in 2010 and tapered fast. I recall in 2012, I was done as I jumped at 5mg, to the best of my memory.

 

I suffered terribly throughout my taper and withdrawal. That was seven years ago. I do recall around 10 months off, I started feeling much better. By 2014 I was significantly better and living life. So much has changed in my life since then, I honestly don't recall what the withdrawal was like. I just remember being in a fog and disassociated from the world and people around me. I will say this! I got better, much better from that time. I had a bad reaction to Benadryl a couple of years ago. I'm not sure if it brought back the withdrawal symptoms temporarily or it was the Benadryl. It all went away, and I stay away from any Anti-Histamines. They play with our receptors and Basophils. Best to stay clear of them. Well, for me anyway.

 

Since, I've went back to nursing school to obtain my NP. That's going very well, as I don't have much more to go. I will say this! I will never prescribe a Benzodiazepine unless for complete emergencies and only a one time use! I have knowledge of these medications most nurses do not! I'm grateful for this! I realize the medical community (most) are completely ignorant and oblivious to the effects of psychiatric medications. I plan on becoming a psychiatric nurse, and I'm a firm believer these days in good therapy! I totally recommend the use of marijuana in conjunction with good therapy any day over what I battled! I'm not an avid marijuana user myself, but I would definitely recommend it!

 

Looking back, it can be hard! I absolutely was NOT myself AT all on Klonopin and during those withdrawal years. In fact, I can't believe how my mind was altered from the Klonopin and Valium. I was a totally different person for the worst! I treated people terribly, which is not me at all! I'm definitely me again! I'm a better me before the Klonopin. I still have some fog at times, but very little and it lasts maybe a few minutes. I have to wonder if it isn't my diet though. I'm thinking it very well could be. My diet isn't the best, especially for someone who promotes good health.

 

If I could go back, I would stay in tact more with myself. My fear was never getting better, but I was wrong. Of course! I mean, most of us were. If not all by now.

 

I also believe what I went through and listening to other people's stories contributed to my decision to becoming a psychiatric nurse. You do get better! Hang in there!

 

Farewell, Billy

 

 

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Billy thank you so much for coming back to tell your story. It is an encouragement to many. Continue to enjoy your life and I am sure you will be a great NP. I hope to give back in some kind of way once I am fully healed, and even now while I am yet on this journey. :thumbsup:
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Thank you, Billy!  Your encouragement means a lot!! Best of luck to you in your work as a psychiatric nurse.  You will be great.
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Billy that is such great news.  Congratulations on nursing school!  I'm super curious, and you don't have to answer, but how old are you?  How long were you off when you were able to do school successfully?  I am also considering going back to school, but I'm only 4 months off and my  mind is still very very forgetful and unreliable. 
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This is such a great story of recovery. Thank you so much for coming back and sharing. It’s so great to see how much you can accomplish once you are back on your feet.
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Yes, I remember you, Billy!

 

I'm so glad to read that you're going back to school and are fully integrated in the world. That you are going to be an NP is a real plus to the medical community!! With all the knowledge you have now of drugs, and knowing their withdrawals and side effects, you can definitely change the landscape of what the medical community is today.

 

THANK YOU for posting your story (there was another one here that I remember reading), and I wish you the very best of luck!!! CONGRATULATIONS AND ENJOY YOUR LIFE!!!  :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

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It's awesome that you came back and wrote this. Congratulations on forgetting this chapter of your life but then coming back and telling people it gets better.

 

In your story, you said you weren't yourself at all. Other than being mean to people, what other symptoms did you overcome? One thing I feel like I'm stuck with is rage for absolutely no reason toward my family and I'm so worried about it. I feel it has to do with my inability to handle any stress right now.

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Thanks for this update Billy.  I remember you well.  I'm also 7 years off now, and if not for working here, probably would hardly ever think of withdrawal.  Healing can take a long time for some of us, but it does happen.  I'll turn 69 in a few days, and my mental abilities are much better now than while I was on xanax or during withdrawal

 

Good luck with your new profession!

 

:smitten:

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Hi Billy,  Thank you for coming back with an update.  I remember you well and  I know you had a tough time.

 

Good for you going back to nursing school, it won't be long before you get your NP.  You are going to make a great psychiatric nurse one day.

 

All the best to you for the future

 

Magrita :smitten: 

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Wow congratulations on your success!  I was actually beginning nursing school after this happened! Thanks for giving me hope that this is NOT my end thank you so much for coming back to share
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Congrats for your recovery and well being and thanks for coming back to give support.

I remember read through your post history as I was searching about dr/dp symptoms.

I’ve learned some valuable advice like dr/dp won’t kill you, it has to run its course and ultimately lifts. Helped me a lot during my acute WD.

Really glad to hear that you’re doing well  :thumbsup:

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Hey Billy,

 

Thanks for coming back and posting this update! Good for you for pursuing something that you can do to help keep others from falling into the benzo trap.  Congratulations!

 

My best to you in your future career and life.

 

PG  :smitten:

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I remember you Billy and am so glad to hear you are doing so well!  I completely understand the feeling of loss of self thru the years of use and withdrawal from the klonopin koma.  Best of luck to you!

 

Hugs,

China

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