Author Topic: Phoenix rising: long-term user, extreme insomniac, emerges from the ashes  (Read 9016 times)

[Buddie]

Re: Phoenix rising: long-term user, extreme insomniac, emerges from the ashes
« Reply #90 on: December 18, 2019, 01:44:49 pm »
[...],

The symptoms you describe sound to me like a really lousy case of wd. Sometimes this takes a crazy long time to improve. If you can gradually approach the activities that cause symptoms, while reassuring yourself, deep breathing, etc. it can help you move forward. The more you avoid them the more it amplifies the way the nervous system responds which creates the outcome of symptoms.

Here's a CFS symptom list:https://www.cdc.gov/me-cfs/symptoms-diagnosis/symptoms.html

I have most of that except the sore throat and swollen lymph nodes. That was more common 20 some years ago when I was first diagnosed. It's the mildest it has ever been since forcing myself to eat better, exercise and practice relaxation skills.

I hope you see some improvement soon. I know I was still in really rough shape at 20 months.

MT
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[Buddie]

Re: Phoenix rising: long-term user, extreme insomniac, emerges from the ashes
« Reply #91 on: December 21, 2019, 10:06:24 pm »
[...], you have most of the symptoms I shared or on the list of the website you provided?
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Phoenix rising: long-term user, extreme insomniac, emerges from the ashes
« Reply #92 on: December 21, 2019, 10:47:14 pm »
[...],

I have most of the symptoms on the CFS website. I had many of what you have but earlier in wd.
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[Buddie]

Re: Phoenix rising: long-term user, extreme insomniac, emerges from the ashes
« Reply #93 on: December 23, 2019, 05:50:31 pm »
I am in bad wave of dementia-like symptoms.
Wondering about recovery from these symptoms?
Can't write much here but wondering if they improved much, or how much improvement took place?
Still suffering from any of the cognitive deficit symptoms?
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Phoenix rising: long-term user, extreme insomniac, emerges from the ashes
« Reply #94 on: December 24, 2019, 12:26:28 am »
[...],

I remember how terrified I was of my dementia like symptoms. I was pretty convinced it was early onset dementia and I'd never be the same, that it would all just be a steady decline. My brain is a lot better now. I have some issues with retention of memory but that's not inconsistent with my lifelong issues with ADD/PTSD and other people in my family. It's just not my strong suit. Still, I'm able to study and learn theoretical material with some effort. I use a lot of reminders and write stuff down to prompt myself.

As time has passed I've come to believe that I had all of the memory issues before but when I was taking benzos I was anesthetized from embarrassment about what I couldn't remember. It just seemed normal to me. Being off of them means being more perceptive, more aware, and feeling more but it's so worth it because it means feeling more of the good stuff too.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Phoenix rising: long-term user, extreme insomniac, emerges from the ashes
« Reply #95 on: December 24, 2019, 01:04:30 am »
[...],

I remember how terrified I was of my dementia like symptoms. I was pretty convinced it was early onset dementia and I'd never be the same, that it would all just be a steady decline. My brain is a lot better now. I have some issues with retention of memory but that's not inconsistent with my lifelong issues with ADD/PTSD and other people in my family. It's just not my strong suit. Still, I'm able to study and learn theoretical material with some effort. I use a lot of reminders and write stuff down to prompt myself.

As time has passed I've come to believe that I had all of the memory issues before but when I was taking benzos I was anesthetized from embarrassment about what I couldn't remember. It just seemed normal to me. Being off of them means being more perceptive, more aware, and feeling more but it's so worth it because it means feeling more of the good stuff too.

Thanks MT. My heart feels some consolation reading your reply. I am glad that you are able to learn theoretical material, albeit with some effort, because that requires considerable cognitive effort and retention.
Your ideas of taking notes is good practice.

This experience also has me questioning how good my memory was before... and I realize that my memory wasn't that great before, either. When I listen to people speak about their childhood experiences, conversations and events with friends, I'm embarrassed and sad that I don't have much to contribute of my own. I have never been able to recall a conversation to save my life. I could sometimes remember gists of conversations.

The only time [...] remember gists of conversations is also when something negative happened to me in it. I remember the negative stuff because that is a function of our human evolution, to remember the negative for our future survival. It could also be the function of a depressed brain.
So, yeah, my memory was never the great. I am sad that it was never a strong suit, and wish I had a great memory like other people do.
But that was never me. However, now I am horrified that I lost the little that I had.
I also have found that my brain is worse in the morning but it tends to get a tad more lucid as the day progresses.

I have been fearful of early onset dementia (due to substances) since a month after I jumped and all this craziness began.
But I gotta keep the faith.

I hope to get to the point where [...] process all the emotions and feelings of failure, of life lost, and accepting what talent I still have available to me. I was anesthetized for twenty years, too.
I want to feel better enough to enjoy the [...] of what time get on this planet.
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[Buddie]

You are without a doubt a f*cking hero. Thanku for sharing your story. On a day I truly feel like [...]ít go on, this has helped me find some fight. Thank you MT :smitten:
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[Buddie]

You are without a doubt a f*cking hero. Thanku for sharing your story. On a day I truly feel like [...]ít go on, this has helped me find some fight. Thank you MT :smitten:

Shayna, I'm so thankful you feel some fight again. I had many, many days and nights when I felt I couldn't go on. People on BB helped get me through those times and believe in a better future. Keep fighting the good fight...even when it's more like a whimper and crawling across the floor, it's a worthwhile fight.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Congrats MT fan...I just saw this now.  You wrote this when I was on a "leave of absence" from BB that was more or less imposed by at least one moderator.

You are always so positive, kind, compassionate and caring.  I have always appreciated your posts, wisdom and humor!

Keep up the great work of supporting people on this forum and in life!

« Last Edit: August 05, 2020, 03:47:05 pm by [Buddie] »
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[Buddie]

Thanks, [...]. I'm glad you're back offering your wisdom.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.