Author Topic: Phoenix rising: long-term user, extreme insomniac, emerges from the ashes  (Read 5959 times)

[Buddie]

Re: Phoenix rising: long-term user, extreme insomniac, emerges from the ashes
« Reply #80 on: October 11, 2019, 07:50:39 pm »
i need words of encouragement. i started down this path because of a stress induced bought of insomnia. now i am not sleeping for weeks. i dont know what to do. i dont think [...] go on like this for much longer. i perhaps went off things too fast and everything was mis managed. i dont know. i cant find any doctors who know about ambien tolerance, withdrawl, temazapam protracted withdrrawl...now im on a low dose of remeron again which isnt even helping. i feel like im not going to make it. please help.

I remember that feeling-that I wouldn't make it. Unfortunately, it can become a mantra that we repeat over and over: "[...]'t do it. I'm not going to make it." Even, "I just want to die." When we do this we're essentially programming our computer with these messages. I understand, these messages are strong and loud but they need something to counter them.

I recommend that you develop some new words to live by, something like, "This is really tough but [...] get through this one day at a time" or "I have the strength to do this." Strength often doesn't feel strong but is the determination to keep going. As silly as Galaxy Quest was, I often had to repeat to myself, "Never give up, never surrender."

In reality, you CAN survive this. Going without sleep is definitely torture but it's not permanent. Your body and mind needs [...]. You can survive on [...] even without sleep. That's why things like doing the guided body scan or any form of meditation is helpful. You can meditate all night long. When sleep deprived your mind will be all over the place but with someone talking you through this you can do it. Here are some resources:

https://www.mindfulness-solution.com/DownloadMeditations.html

http://sittingtogether.com/meditations.php

Listening to books on audio or nonstimulating podcasts at night can also provide [...]. I listen to Lightspeed or Clarkesworld for free science-fiction and fantasy. I'm sure there are other genres available. It gives your brain something to do other than obsess about sleep. Obsessing about sleep is a sleep killer. You have to start programming yourself with the belief that, regardless of the amount of sleep you did or didn't get, you can get through this next day, even if it's one hour at a time.

[...]'t emphasize enough the importance of looking for even teeny, tiny things that are going well, that you can be grateful for. Perhaps you have a roof over your head so that while not sleeping, at least you can have some level of comfort and safety. Are there trees or flowers near you? When did you last watch a sunrise or sunset? Can you go out and hear the laughter of a small child, or even an adult? Do you have clean water? Were you able to dress yourself today?

You absolutely can make it through this. Time is distorted and this feels like forever, but it isn't and it won't be. Take comfort in the fact that there are thousands of people all over the planet going through this. You may not know them, most aren't on BB, but you aren't alone. On BB a bunch of us have been through this and come to the other side. That was once a fictional land of unicorns and rainbows but it ultimately happened. My life isn't perfect because of my pre-existing health issues, but benzo hell is behind me. One day it will be for you as well. And you will be so proud of yourself for being such a bad ass survivor.

MT

Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.