Author Topic: Phoenix rising: long-term user, extreme insomniac, emerges from the ashes  (Read 6262 times)

[Buddie]

Mt:

I also did have pre-existing insomnia, anxiety (all from menopause) when I started my withdrawal. I believed my insomnia was aggravated by the menopause, and the first doc that I went to failed to recognize this and was quick to put a band aid on my symptoms by prescribing different drugs at different times that all made me worse.  I also feel liberated, that I am not dependent on any doc to be able to sleep anymore. In spite of this freedom, I am still in a roller coaster of good nights and bad ones...more likely it will be like for the [...] of my days. I am not taking any hormone therapy; my gynecologist said I was too old to start with them (maybe I should find me another one). I know menopause  is contributing to a lot of my issues because before this I was able to sleep okay and be very functional.

You are clearly an inspiration to all of us  :smitten:
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Thank you for your kind words [...]. For many of us insomnia is going to be a long-term battle. But I think the thing we gained from wd is knowing how bad it could be...yet we survived. When I start to feel whiny about it, I think about the years of only sleeping at all every other night and months of 0-2 hour nights. It makes the ups and downs, broken sleep and shortened sleep of now seem like a sleepfest :laugh: It's all about perspective and finding gratitude. I still expect more brain and body [...] though but most of the time I have some peace and acceptance that even if this is what life is like from here on, it will all be okay.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]


How did I survive? I kept reminding myself that I didnít have to make it through the next month, year, whatever, I only had to make it through this day, this hour. I tried to break everything up into tiny, manageable chunks. Even when, especially when, things were exceptionally bad, I practiced gratitude, striving, as if my life depended on it.

Iíve been reading a book, ďHow to be sickĒ that has strategies for coping with chronic illness. One of the tools is to cultivate joy in the joy of others. When I could drag my focus from my own sorry life and be happy for someone else who was able to sleep or who had the [...] to leave the house or who went on vacation, I saw how it helped me feel better. Cultivating this, and gratitude takes practice and you start with not having the *emotion* at all. Itís just practice. But bit by bit, if you work at it, youíll find yourself experiencing far more joy and gratitude than you thought imaginable.

MT

Congratulations !

Your attitude throughout withdrawal is an example for me.

To practice gratitude and compassion it's not something easy for many of us.
Especially under such nerve-wracking circumstances...
But like you said, it's working !

Because this is the true purpose of humanity.

Thanks for sharing 
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Hey [...]! I just belatedly found your Success Story post, right after I finally posted mine. (I'd been off this site for many months, procrastinating on writing my own story.) As I scanned through recent Success Stories, I was hoping to find yours, and there it was, from several months ago.

You helped me so much during my worst days. And I'm not at all surprised to see that you've done the same for so many others. You are truly an inspiration and deserve every bit of success you've fought so hard for. I'm so happy for you, my friend.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Thanks for being there during the darkest time of my life, [...]. I'm glad  you're doing as well as you are. Are you still working the same job and dating the former bf? How's the dancing? I like to think of you dancing away and leaving all the benzo mess behind you. Recovery is imperfect and often not 100% but it's so much better than what came before and what would have happened had we been unwilling to take the leap.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

[...]! Great to hear!! It's remarkable how close our [...] journey has been. I'm so happy to hear this for you. My life is back on track as well. In many ways I'm stronger for having gone through this and I wish the same for you and everyone here. And I also want to say thank you. You have a flair for the written word and there were posts of yours that said exactly what I needed to hear when I needed it most. So, thank you, and all the best going forward!
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Confused,

I'm thrilled to hear that your life has improved and I'm thankful you've found some of my posts helpful. We all need each other and BB has helped us survive while we walked through the flames. I hope your recover brings even more gifts to you in the future!
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

[...] - Good to hear from you...Yes, I'm still doing the same work, although steadily daydreaming of retirement, and still dancing on a regular basis (looking forward to the approaching outdoor dance season). But I broke up with the boyfriend last summer. He was exactly the right guy for me when I was a house-ridden hermit, and I'll always be grateful for our time together. But once I started feeling better and wanted to go out and do stuff with him, I found he was way too much of a homebody for me. So I'm on my own now, which is fine.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

[...], good for you knowing when to move on...so many don't. I understand the dreams of retirement. I hope the outdoor dancing season is a wonderful one!
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Oh [...], what beautiful Success Story! Thank you for coming back to share it with us.

In spite of the horrors of what you were going through, you managed to keep the focus on the good you could bring to others, because yes, they can feel the good while we might not. If you can't help yourself, you can help others, bring joy or something positive into their lives, and that is empowering. Such great learnings from this horrible ordeal, you have been able to find the positives in your struggles, [...] only imagine how a wonderful person you must have become at the end of it all - because you must have been pretty incredible to begin with if you were able to be so strong and altruistic!

I am trying to live this journey in a similar way. I was once at a dance class and was having no enjoyment whatsoever, because of my bad emotional numbness. But I complimented a girl on her dancing and she started beaming with a beautiful smile as she thanked me. It hadn't be anything much, it had cost me nothing, I was just being honest. And it made me realise I still had an impact in the world around me. Even if [...]'t do anything to heal myself, just survive. Withdrawal teaches you some pretty powerful things when you are willing to shift the focus from your suffering and listen...

I have just passed the 2-year mark after a polydrug cocktail I took for 13 years, so your story gives me huge hope. I am still dealing with akathisia and emotional numbness as my most difficult symptoms to cope through, but I won't give up and will keep fighting!

Thank you again so much, and have a wonderful Life!  :smitten:

[...] x
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.