Author Topic: Phoenix rising: long-term user, extreme insomniac, emerges from the ashes  (Read 6003 times)

[Buddie]

Victor,

You're describing such a difficult, painful situation. How strong and brave you are to have made it this far! Of course you feel like you're going to die-that's how sleep deprivation makes us feel. You won't (die from this) but the feeling is strong. Hour by hour, day by day, you're moving toward a time when this will start improving. Look for the teeny tiniest signs of improvement. It's up and down and small at first but it will happen. You're not forever broken. Just recovering from a massive assault on your nervous system. You can do this-even when your brain is screaming at you that you can't. I felt like that all of the time-that I couldn't make it one more day and wanted to give up. I kept reminding myself that I didn't have to survive a year or even a month. Just this moment. I'm sending you kindness and strength.

MT

Dear MT,

I read your success story and this recent post is something I needed to desperately read right now.  I will be 6 months off on 4/15 and am struggling with the insomnia and anxiety that put me on the meds.  I believe I'm experiencing a combination of withdrawal and underlying condition.  However, last week I did experience 3 "better" days after having gotten some marginally better sleep.  Those days give me hope.  Sadly, I am under an extreme amount of stress due to marital issues from an unsupportive spouse (considering divorce).  I'm praying to God daily that he will heal me despite the stress in my life.  Do you believe it's possible when the odds seem stacked against you?  Thank you. 
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

[...],

Yes, I absolutely believe that recovery can, and will, happen even with multiple complicating factors. It's an excellent sign that this early on you're having some days that are even a wee bit better. It took me much, much longer before I saw the slightest movement with sleep. I'm really sorry to hear about your marital troubles on top of this. I hope you seek out some support from other places in your life. What you're going through is really difficult but people have made it through benzo wd despite coming down with cancer, having spouses, children or parents dying, after losing jobs, etc. All of these are blows but ultimately you're doing something very positive for your body and mind by getting off the drugs.

[...]! (which simply means carrying on despite your fear)

MT
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

[...],

Yes, I absolutely believe that recovery can, and will, happen even with multiple complicating factors. It's an excellent sign that this early on you're having some days that are even a wee bit better. It took me much, much longer before I saw the slightest movement with sleep. I'm really sorry to hear about your marital troubles on top of this. I hope you seek out some support from other places in your life. What you're going through is really difficult but people have made it through benzo wd despite coming down with cancer, having spouses, children or parents dying, after losing jobs, etc. All of these are blows but ultimately you're doing something very positive for your body and mind by getting off the drugs.

[...]! (which simply means carrying on despite your fear)

MT

MT,

Thank you for the encouragement.  I try to keep telling myself that I am [...] even though it might not feel like it.  I am taking some supplements to sleep (.8mg of melatonin, tart cherry, l-theanine, magnesium and lactium).  Some nights it helps and others not so much.  [...]t nap, which upsets me, but Id rather sleep through the night than nap.  I believe that ability will come back someday when CNS calms down.  Oh, how I will relish that!!  I read that it takes 2 years for a brain to regenerate all its cells and 3 years for a body to achieve homeostasis.  Trying to brace myself that this is going to take a lot of time and patience to recover.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Thank you for posting this, I had a very bad night and was about to give up. I was on BB back when I started this journey a year ago. I am completely off clonazepam after 18 years for RLS. Im in the 6 th month of recovery. Last dose was October 23, 2018. Its been a journey...I am only sleeping 1-2 hrs at night. I still have hot flashes several times a day, I have this nasty throat clearing issue, tinnitus. I just read that this is my body recovering. I was so grateful to hear that. I am patiently waiting to get better and so grateful to be on this side of it. At month 2 had severe palpitations. Ended up in ER. I had a normal cardiac workup. My palpitations were called benign pvcs. They have gone away thank God. It was suggested to take 400 mg magnesium and try Benadryl for sleep?? Looking forward...any other suggestions?
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Thank you very much for the inspiring story of recovery! Health and happiness to you! May God bless you!
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Thank you for posting this, I had a very bad night and was about to give up. I was on BB back when I started this journey a year ago. I am completely off clonazepam after 18 years for RLS. Im in the 6 th month of recovery. Last dose was October 23, 2018. Its been a journey...I am only sleeping 1-2 hrs at night. I still have hot flashes several times a day, I have this nasty throat clearing issue, tinnitus. I just read that this is my body recovering. I was so grateful to hear that. I am patiently waiting to get better and so grateful to be on this side of it. At month 2 had severe palpitations. Ended up in ER. I had a normal cardiac workup. My palpitations were called benign pvcs. They have gone away thank God. It was suggested to take 400 mg magnesium and try Benadryl for sleep?? Looking forward...any other suggestions?

I remember how absolutely miserable it was, and is, to live with so little sleep. It makes your body and mind freak out. Are you menopausal? Something that made a difference for me was starting on bioidentical progesterone at night. It added about 2 hours of sleep per night in general for me. I know some people think it's a bad idea but for me it was worth it. Exercise won't force sleep but it will make it a bit easier to fall asleep and can lengthen sleep. Not every time, but as a trend. Yes, I know how hard it is to exercise when you're exhausted but believe me, it's possible.

Other suggestions are having a night time winding down ritual. When I was at my worst and was only sleeping 0-2 hours per night, this was my schedule:

-TV while wearing blue light filtering glasses until 10 pm.
-webbing around on fun sites like Imgur.com (I have blue light filtering on computer and phone) but nothing stimulating from 10-11.
-Hot bath at 11 (so body temp would drop 2 hours later and promote sleep as well as relax me).
-Reading for 1-2 hours.
-Some meditation/relaxation practice (from youtube or apps or on my own).
-Imagination practices that I learned from some insomnia book (reviewing the plot of a book or TV show in as much detail as possible, imagining traveling somewhere in great detail, trying to remember every detail of the walks I take, etc.)
-Then I'd go back and forth between reading, relaxation exercises, and imagination until I'd get up for the day sometime between 5 and 6 (earlier if I was super agitated).

I think it's a terrible idea to lie in bed while very restless and desperately try to fall asleep. You'll do far better if you're wide awake doing something else, distracting yourself and waiting for your brain to slow down. What I found is that my mind wasn't particularly busy at night, it just needed something to do other than think about how badly I needed to sleep. That's why I relied so heavily on relaxation practices and imagination. I still use them to ease my way in and avoid the toxic, "I'VE GOTTA SLEEP" scream in my head. :smitten: :smitten:
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Thanks for your experience!!!
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Thanks for your experience!!!

Good luck with your recovery. I hope you start seeing improvement soon.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

[...]....THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR COMING BACK AND FOR YOUR WONDERFUL SUCCESS STORY. I have not been on BB for a while.....but glad I decided to pop in today.  YOU MADE MY DAY.     

I too,  feel like giving up all of the time.  My sleep is such a rollercoaster....but from what everyone describes....it sounds like me....one night on one night off....and it still does not feel like real sleep....BUT.....I think I am a little better than I was .....I do try Melatonin and L-Theanine some nights....don't know if they work.

I am post-menopausal....so I am sure that doesn't help sleep .....Have a Dr. Appt. to check my hormones.....I too, will probably go on Bio-Identical hormones .   

[...]....do you get a little sleepy now and can you take naps?   Will that return somewhat?

THANK YOU.    ONE DAY AT A TIME.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Hi [...].

I understand the sleep rollercoaster. That every other night pattern is so common. I still have a tendency after a longer night to have a shorter night next. But yes, I get some of that drowsy feeling. I have to woo it a bit, cultivate it, but enough comes. Sometimes I go through runs of great drowsiness and at inconvenient times and then it recedes some. If I'm very active (for me) I will often need to lie down for an hour in the afternoon. It's not usually sleeping but some stage 1 sleep may happen. Whatever it is, I feel better afterwards usually.

Please remember, I had pre-existing insomnia, CFS and menopause so I'm going to have some struggles with sleep no matter what independent of wd. Regardless, I feel so blessed to not be taking a load of drugs, or be dependent on some doctor, to be able to sleep. [...] clearly say life is better off the drugs but it took me a while to get here. It's liberating! You'll get there :smitten: :smitten:
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.