need someones help

i have been on this website for 1 year and 5 months and you can also say i have a bachelors degree in benzos since my first fail taper in 2014  i failed because i did not know anything i was only on the drug for  a year and tryed to stop cold turkey i made in 1 day with out my ativan then i turned to my doctor to get my off i was on 1.5mg a day at the time and he drew out a 60 day taper plain  it was rough every time i cut a dose for a few days but i bounced back until i go to the close to the end i was on 0.5 mg  -  0.25mg am 0.25mg pm  i was doing pretty well on that dose of 0.5mg a day  until the next cut of taking away 0.25pm dosage i only made it a few days like that i could not sleep i had this pressure in my head that was unbearable  12 hours of the day so i reinstated back to 0.5mg a day  and everything was ok again i stayed at that dose for a while and did great until intermittent withdrawal crept back in fast forward to now 2019  like i said ive been on here for  a while i know a lot  but i am deathly afraid to start a taper again because i am afraid of failing or going through unbearable withdrawal  i need a push and someone to guide me into this my life is terrible and has been for the last almost 2 years !!!  i lost the ability to drive in 2017 because of panic attacks and since then i made my house my safe place and have devloped a pretty bad agoraphobia i am a prison of my own house i need someones help

Hi jumpman -

 

Sorry you are suffering. I can relate to the agoraphobia - never had it before benzo w/d and no I have to force myself to go to the market but I always feel better when I do.

 

How are you doing your taper? Have you thought of a DLMT? That seems to work best for so many people. I am doing it now and getting lower in dose slowly.

 

You're not alone. We are all here going through this and here to support one another.

 

You will heal and get through this.

im on 1.625mg daily and have not started a taper yet  out of fear thing will only get worse for me

Hello Jumpman,

 

Ativan was my poison as well, and according to your signature you have been at the same dosage now for the last year and a half, and scared to start Taper because of the symptoms and WD.

 

I understand, you are not alone, it is indeed a scary path/road to travel. However you also understand the need and will to get off the medication because of how it had lost it's effective desire and no longer makes you calm.

 

I won't beat around the bush, there is no easy road ahead of you. Only you can muster up the willpower to start your taper once again and with the support of BB members here and your own personal willpower you WILL succeed and you CAN do this.

 

Go onto the Taper portion of this site and research and ask suggestions and develop a long yet safe tapering plan, that will establish some confidence in your mind, the slower you go the less chance you will develop of any symptoms developing, keep in mind you may develop some as you cut and get lower and lower in daily consumption, but you are strong, you can do this!!

 

Daily exercising no matter how little or how scary it seems, healthy eating (soberhope) Pete can definitely help there, he's a beast in his eating clean, also try to develop different coping mechanisms to help deal with stressors in your life, but with time and patience and a good taper plan you will get off the poison that is Ativan. It all starts with YOU.

 

 

Good luck my friend, You got this!!!

Great advice from Nick. You should post in the General Taper board and someone will help you plan a slow taper. You can also do a DLMT and post in the Titration board and someone will also help you plan a daily liquid micro taper which many buddies do.

 

Know to avoid alcohol, sugar and caffeine during your taper. I could handle sugar at the start of my taper, but now sadly I can't touch the stuff or it will make me feel much worse. There is a lot of info on a good diet on the site. A lot of people do a Keto diet and it changes their life (I haven't tried that) but eating healthy during this is important.

 

Keep a log of your taper so you know what is working as you taper and can make corrections as you taper.

 

You will heal bud.

thanks for the replies nick and soberhope i have a  liquid micro taper in place already and brought the things i needed in 2017  just have not done it yet and ive been alcohol free for almost 3 years and have been caffeine free  for about 4 years

jumpman - that is GREAT about being alcohol and caffeine free - 2 big no-nos while you taper so you are set and ahead of the game.

 

a DLMT is the way to go. Let us know when you start and we have your back.

Jump- It's a bigger picture that just the taper. You can do this! I would highly recommend finding a Cognitive Behavior Therapist if you have the ability. Otherwise, lot's of videos out there that speak to it.  You'll want a plan for sleep, eating,  possible anxiety, etc. Everyone is different. Honestly, ask yourself is it worth being drug free and clear of this poison? If so, the beginning sucks typically. Mine was 2-4 weeks but improving all the time. I'm thinking I'll deal with this for a year. Maybe less, maybe more, but I'm functional again! You will be too! Take this on and be prepared to address any challenges you have on the website, and hopefully with a CBT counselor.

 

You can do this....