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Burned in hell, crawled through purgatory, and now walking amongst the living


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I’m getting my third round in early April.  My head tension is down by 80-90%.  It’s a game changer. Not sure if it’s the Botox or just time passing but I’ve had enough suffering that I’m okay with it either way.
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Congrats Drew.....thanks for sharing. I feel deathly ill each day and feel like I will never get better but these success stories inspire me.

 

Yup. We were all like you until one day we weren’t. No way out but through.  Hopefully soon too for you.

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I’m getting my third round in early April.  My head tension is down by 80-90%.  It’s a game changer. Not sure if it’s the Botox or just time passing but I’ve had enough suffering that I’m okay with it either way.

Nice, I definitely noticed improvements also. I’ve got my 3rd round in May.

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  • 1 month later...
Drew, i just saw you posting in 2016 when you was 27 months and still not able to excercise.Just wanted to ask when it got better with time ? Im on 29th month now and completely cant excercise,just trying to figure out how long will it last more:)
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Hi Mobako,

 

It was just time and it was in the last year where I saw the big jump.  I still have periods where I have to pull back and I'm in one of them now. Sort of depressing if I focus on that so I try not to.  It is not an issue of terrible panics and palps anymore just more of muscle pain and tightness.  It is just a stupifying long process.  Just keep looking forward as we have no choice anyway.

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How is your head/ scalp drew? Did you head 3rd round with botox? Do you feel is bit better each time or you get better right away with first round and is just stay the same good since then?

I’m so happy to see the Botox is worked for you. I do t k ow how long I can take this pain.

Love and healing

Vica

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Vica....this third round has been ineffective.  I’ve had the head/scalp/eye pain almost every day for the last month. I will get the next round in seven weeks.  Curious to see what happens.  I know not to get too excited that anything will last.  Everything else is way better still though so there’s that.
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Vica....this third round has been ineffective.  I’ve had the head/scalp/eye pain almost every day for the last month. I will get the next round in seven weeks.  Curious to see what happens.  I know not to get too excited that anything will last.  Everything else is way better still though so there’s that.

Sorry to read the third round was not give you relief. Hopefully the next one will be more effective. But I’m happy to see everything else is way better.

Wishing you continue good health and more improvement in your head scalp pain.

Vica

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Hi drew, I am always delighted to read a success story and certainly the ones with symptoms I can relate to.

 

I am about 2.5 years off the dreaded benzos and ads and currently my worst symptom is vision issues and migraine. I just had one this morning with the prisms and visual zig zag but fortunately they dont knock me out more just a slightly sore head after. I've been having them more frequently lately like one a month yet they dont seem to be kicking my backside the way they were. The vision issues are sensitivity to light, feeling like my eyes dont work together, after images etc.

 

Is this the kind of stuff you dealt with?

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Yup.  All that crap with the eyes.  The light sensitivity is recently vastly improved but it’s still hard for me to sit under the fluorescents or new super bright lights they have in my office.  My visual auras used to come every two weeks or so.  Now maybe once every six months.
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Drew, did you suffer depression while going through withdrawal? If so, how long did it last for you? I'm worried my job might be the source of my depression at 13.5 months off this medication yet I don't really want to quit it with no backup plan. Just so confused all the time, but I'm noticing I feel better on the weekend and don't feel like crying near as often, but during the workweek, I always feel like crying and I feel angry. I'm wondering if it's the job or just my inability to handle stress because of the medication.
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I was lucky in I never got hit with depression xcept for brief bouts while suffering which is normal.  I wouldn’t quit the job as I suffered way more at .org even though I love my job.  It’s definitely the brains inability to handle stress which is making work way worse.  Just suffer and persevere.  Once you’re feeling better you will have a clear mind to make a proper decision. 

I really was in a bad partnership at wok during the whole ordeal and I knew to wait to I as a little better before ending it which I did 1.5 years ago.

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[a4...]

Congratulations and thanks for writing this, Drew.

I often read your blog while passing time in this healing phase......

 

Ss24

 

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The first time I read this (in early March), I remember saying “that’s my line ... burning in hell and walking through purgatory” as I had posted in my February journal.  It’s 2 months later and I’m still burning in hell and walking through purgatory... I think I have a long road ahead.

 

Congratulations!  So happy for you, Drew.

 

SaraSue  :smitten:

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Yeah, I'm struggling at work because of the stress. I'm struggling to even go to the grocery store at this point. So much body burning every day. Lots of anxiety and panic, which leads to depression and anger.

 

SaraSue, I'm 13.5 months off c/t of a low dose of Klonopin. I still think I'm in for a long road ahead.

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Boom,

 

Hopefully your road is shorter with withdrawal.  I can’t even imagine 13.5 months of this torture.

 

SaraSue

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Drew - thank you for your story.  You have persevered and I was so moved by your story.  A common theme I see in success stories is life is so great on the other side and lessons were certainly learned, but that it wasn't all really worth the agony of w/d.  I do like your line abt alcohol...not needing to be buzzed, that normal life is all the high you need.  I'm using that line!  Congrats and wishing you a very clear, happy, chemical free life!
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  • 3 weeks later...

Great to hear your success story Drew. I'm very happy for you. Just so hard to believe how blind doctors can be to all of this.

 

Best wishes,

 

laser

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Drew, friend, I can’t tell you how happy I am to read your success story. I’m all farklempt, as whoozit is my witness. You held on and you came through and well, how fantastic. You’ll make up for all that lost time, I’m sure of it. I’m far behind you now, but reading your story gives me tremendous hope. I’m so sorry for what you went through, but you made it. I’m positively kvelling! Congratulations, Drew, enjoy your wonderful life!!!
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Thanks Marina...I can’t wait til you join me.  I’ve been a bit wavy for a bit but the symptoms are much easier to deal with.  I didn’t expect my writing of the success story to be the end of this but it’s the end of it defining who I am.
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My head was much better during the first two rounds(on my third now).  For some reason this round wasn't as good.  I will get my fourth round next month so hopefully it is better again.  It may be working as I haven't had an aura in six months and this may be the benzo stuff left for now which comes and goes.  So hard to tell.  I have been wavy for the last two months and it finally seems to be breaking now.  Out exercising and pushing myself again.

 

Glad it is helping you too.

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My head was much better during the first two rounds(on my third now).  For some reason this round wasn't as good.  I will get my fourth round next month so hopefully it is better again.  It may be working as I haven't had an aura in six months and this may be the benzo stuff left for now which comes and goes.  So hard to tell.  I have been wavy for the last two months and it finally seems to be breaking now.  Out exercising and pushing myself again.

 

Glad it is helping you too.

Yah spoke to my Neuro about it being an iterative process which should work in time. As long as there are improvements I'll be able to stay in good spirits. I also noticed a high correlation of tinnitus to head tension (which makes complete sense).

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