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Support for individuals living and suffering ALONE in the real world 🌎


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Thought I’d start a support thread for every BenzoBuddie that is going through this ALONE or lives alone such as myself. I know that lack of communication or interaction is another demon in itself that effects our mental health so I’d just like to reach out and offer support or hear some support or just chat with those who are alone, also if you’re a member whom usually don’t post or shy, don’t be afraid to post here. We’re all the same inside, we all bleed red. So LETS CHAT 💭
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Thanks for starting this Nick. I feel so alone in this process and have only told one family member that I am tapering right now - my mom. Thankfully she is supportive and understands how hard it is. I am scared to tell other people as they won't understand the challenge and nightmare of this. And I also don't want pity. I have isolated myself from my friends throughout this. I can't even look at Instagram. I am just the opposite of who I was before I started to taper. I just have to keep going forward and get off these meds so I can get back into the real world. I could not relate more to everything you just said.
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I hear you Pete and after meeting you and chatting with you and understanding you’re work and that your use to being in the public eye I can emphasize on how hard it would be to tell anyone about what and how you’re suffering and battling through. You have all of us though to chat with. You’re never truly alone in your battle my friend. Keep on keeping on.
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Thanks Nick - so glad we connected on this site and I have a true friend to talk to about this stuff. Had a rough night and morning but making myself get outside to get some stuff done. Even going to try to do 15 mins at the gym and see if that helps - need to try new things to combat this chemical anxiety...

 

You help me so much Nick - thanks for being a true friend.

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  • 3 weeks later...
I hope, we can keep this thread alive. It's so hard, to feel that you are alone in this horrible journey. But we understand each other, and understanding and support is so important.
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I feel alone and live alone... which sometimes is ok because I feel like being alone, but I worry because I'm on disability and I haven't  worked... I also am disconnected  from alot of people and sad because I wanted more for myself and this sick ride is unbelievably  cruel.

I really don't know how I'm going to make it, I don't own a house, not married  no kids

I wanted all this but didn't manage somehow I had a few years left to do that but know its not relevant... sorry for the depressing post :(

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OH dear BONTY  :hug: ....  hope more folks chime in soon....?

 

my heart goes out to you, dear buddie, you are NOT alone + i sympathize w/all you wrote... :smitten: 

 

no kids either, isolated, housebound, no support, no family. 

 

husband barely has work.  have house -- trying to renovate to accommodate my disability -- but can't afford it anymore -- so must soon sell  :(

 

am applying for disability atm.... so overwhelming. God i hope i qualify.

 

i do hope your family or BF can help at all ?

 

in such agony these past 2 wks -- messed up taper again..... if you want to see my last posts on Subs Taper + Valium support -- for update of disaster....  i owe some replies to those helpful buddies.

 

this week doses /drugs all over the place, again... can't get 'stable' + K too painful.

 

otherwise, have just been crying out in new PTSD group.... don't know why, i can barely cope w/ posting .... but felt compelled to cry out somewhere....

 

+ did not want to overwhelm you, dear friend....

 

here's another support group, i'm following + hope to ask for taper support there soon...

 

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=133108.0

 

sending love, encouragement + healing, we must try to stay strong - you WILL make it.

 

PS: will reply to your PM asap  :smitten:

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chipmunk- your so kind as always you respond to my message    :smitten:

I hope you are doing well... today no so good  my sleep averages 4-5 hours and its not cutting it...

plus  feeling weak, chilly + depressed...

I hope you and your husband find a suitable home for you both

catch you later in are pming

 

take care,

Bonty

 

 

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BONTY  :smitten:

 

came back here just to say - thinking of you... stay strong.... will PM asap... in utter agony atm :(

 

wish there were more buddies posting here....

 

:hug:

 

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  • 3 weeks later...
Im also alone and suffering since discontinuing Klonapin almost 4 years ago. Feeling devastated at the moment as my only child has decided to discontinue contact with me. She and her husband thought I had dementia despite my encouragement to read up about withdrawal side effects, like most long and short term users I still have problems with memory and other unpleasant side effects. I have made some improvements over the years but still a way to go. Feeling crushed as people cannot get their head around the fact this is not all in my head.
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Thanks Nick for starting this thread.

Healing thoughts and prayers for all you lonely tapering folk with little support.

I am all alone since Pam died. Our wedding anniversary today! Could do with a big hug from somewhere.  Daughters areclocal have sent best wishes but don’t approve of my drug reduction.

( Not everyone’s cup of tea but I know God is always there for me— though prayer comes hard at times)

If you are fed up - alone I am happ with PMs

We can do this.!!  I might only see the postman today but must battle on.

Warm wishes

Dick

 

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Sweet,

 

I’m so sorry you are alone and your daughter is breaking contact.  Would she be happier if you had Dementia?  Children can be cruel as adults.

 

May you find support from others in your life or here at BB.  I know this is such a difficult time.  May tomorrow be better.

 

SaraSue :smitten:

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I live alone and really do prefer being along during this journey. I really don't want to put anyone through my 'issues' and when I don't feel well, being alone is the best for me. But, I have benzobuddies and that's helping me.  My sweet dad always said I was so independent and at 70 years old, I guess I still am.  Hey, he and mom raised me that way.    :smitten:
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Hi all,

 

Just thought I would chime in , I dont live alone but it feels like I do , so I guess thank you also for starting this.

I just got off the phone with a compounding pharm. asking if they had liquid ativan to make my taper eaiser but they dont.

He asked me what dose I was on ... I told him almost down to 0.25 daily... HE asked how long you been on Ativan I said

2 years , He said you can just stop it .... you could just stop it if you were on it for 10 years.... IT wont do anything to you.

I said yes every little cut i make i feel , HE said its all in your head you should not notice any dose that small.

How about that! That was a pharmacist

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Hi all,

 

Just thought I would chime in , I dont live alone but it feels like I do , so I guess thank you also for starting this.

I just got off the phone with a compounding pharm. asking if they had liquid ativan to make my taper eaiser but they dont.

He asked me what dose I was on ... I told him almost down to 0.25 daily... HE asked how long you been on Ativan I said

2 years , He said you can just stop it .... you could just stop it if you were on it for 10 years.... IT wont do anything to you.

I said yes every little cut i make i feel , HE said its all in your head you should not notice any dose that small.

How about that! That was a pharmacist

 

Oh, brother.  They surely don't have a clue, do they?  It's sad that they and many doctors don't realize how hard it is to get off these dang things.  :idiot:

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Yup

Been told this week that withdrawal is just expectation as in placebo. A belief structure I have developed to cope with overthinking the change in mood. -))

Until a doc has been thorough it they don’t really get it do they.?

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  • 2 months later...
I live alone (well with my son, but he is half the time with his father) and it has its plusses and minuses. When I have been extremely sick and depressed, sometimes I just want to be alone and not have to worry about being around other people and I can completely control my environment, but for me, I think the cons out weight the pros. I don't think we are meant to live life alone and I have isolated so much over this past year and lost most of my friends. When Im alone for too long, my thoughts can drive me crazy. Its be so long since Ive just simply slept next to someone, I think I have almost forgotten what it feels like. I was reading a few studies that discussed the health impacts that are caused by loneliness and sometimes I start having all of these unrealistic fears about dying alone and no one finding me. Im relatively young (mid 30's) but I've lived alone for so many years I start to worry that maybe I always will. Perhaps if I had more friends to keep me company during this it wouldn't bother me so much. But I am thankful to have a home and a place to call my own. so there that :)
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  • 4 weeks later...
I live alone and really dislike it, the few friends i.have believe benzos  cant be doing all this WD they say its just my anxiety!@ I only had anxiety when reaching tollerance now i even question myself.  Is this anxiety caused by WD or do i just have anxiety. My thoughts are both xx
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  • 4 weeks later...

Hi, just found this thread and yes AM ALONE.

So many say they are but then it turns otu they have a relative they don't like or don't wish to see, or a neighbor looks in, something.  Because it is really unhealthy to be isolated and, uh, I am the most alone person I know.

 

No family.

 

No frienid-- the 'best friend' rarely even phones and can't talk about this as she does not care.  Yes, I am hurt and angry.  I don't even know how to get past that.  A friend in need is a friend indeed? --  I thought she was like family, but no, is all about herself.

 

Anyhow glad people are reaching out and talking and pls. can I join you all?

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  • 3 weeks later...

Hi Warrior we seem to be on a lot of the same threads lately (kindred spirits I suppose). Yes it’s so tough to live alone, well other than my son but I try and shield him from this as much as I can. I wasn’t too successful in this last wave as I basically lost it. It can be very very lonely. Sometimes I do enjoy being home alone though when I just want my “safe space”. I love to cuddle up on the couch when my house is super clean, close the blinds, light some candles and watch movies.

 

This journey has been beyond lonely. My life has gotten very very small. I barely have friends left. But On the positive side it has shown me who the “real” friends and family are, those who love you unconditionally no matter what, and I think in reality, that is truly a blessing that has come from this. When I was a very little girl I remember my grandfather telling me you would be lucky to count your friends on one hand once you reach old age, and how true that came to be! It’s all about quality and not quantity. I think despite how absolutely terrifying and hellacious this journey has been, there have been good things that have come of all of this too. Amongst them, realizing what true friendship and love actually looks like. Don’t waste time fretting about the rest.

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Hi Warrior we seem to be on a lot of the same threads lately (kindred spirits I suppose). Yes it’s so tough to live alone, well other than my son but I try and shield him from this as much as I can. I wasn’t too successful in this last wave as I basically lost it. It can be very very lonely. Sometimes I do enjoy being home alone though when I just want my “safe space”. I love to cuddle up on the couch when my house is super clean, close the blinds, light some candles and watch movies.

 

This journey has been beyond lonely. My life has gotten very very small. I barely have friends left. But On the positive side it has shown me who the “real” friends and family are, those who love you unconditionally no matter what, and I think in reality, that is truly a blessing that has come from this. When I was a very little girl I remember my grandfather telling me you would be lucky to count your friends on one hand once you reach old age, and how true that came to be! It’s all about quality and not quantity. I think despite how absolutely terrifying and hellacious this journey has been, there have been good things that have come of all of this too. Amongst them, realizing what true friendship and love actually looks like. Don’t waste time fretting about the rest.

 

Yes, we are of like minds, I think. Funny that you say that because during my window last week, I was able to really clean and wash floors and it's the first time in over a year my house actually felt clean. Then today, it's so blinding hot out still where I live (southwest USA), that I have the blinds closed and I just want to watch a movie although my mind is going downhill and that's hard sometimes.

 

Yes, this is very very lonely indeed and when you are a social person by nature, such as myself, it is truly difficult. Not having a spouse or friends really or anyone makes it super hard. I do have my dad and my mother's best friend who check on me and I know they are there if I need anything. Everyone else is just gone. It's okay. It'll give me a chance to clean slate my life once this is over...whenever that is! Sounds like you are doing a little better from a few days ago. I admire your trying to find the silver linings. I like to do that, too.  :)

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Nick, thanks for thread.

Yes all alone no NO friends.  Long story of a sleep disorder putting me out of synch, then could not work, sister is a narcissist, who does not reply.

 

So mayb emake some real actual friends here??  Tho a real in flesh friend would make all athe difference.

 

So tired i write more later... been bad days

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