going through horrible taper and with lots questions

this is my first post. im still very new in the world of benzo. pls excuse me if what im saying does not make any sense.

 

i consider myself having a pretty easy going personality. prior to my panic attack episodes, i never had any anxiety issues and life had been fairly smooth.

everything changed the night of 12/20/2019. i experienced multiple panic attacks that sent me to ER. I had no idea what they were and thought i was about to die from heart attacks. After ER confirmed it was not heart attack, i visited multiple generals, psychologist and psychiatrist, had multiple blood test done, and was diagnosed with Panic disorder.  every stop i go i was prescribed with anti-anxiety and anti-depression meds....  ativan, lexipro, zolof, trazodone, ativan, cymbalta, buspar, propranolol... 

following the direction of my psychiatrist, i began taking 0.5mg x 3 ativan, 10mg x 3 proranolol, morning 25 zoloft, and evening 50mg trazodone for the next two weeks. it was debilitating for those two weeks. i watched both my mental and physical health deteriorating with no relief on sight, other than getting more and more depending on the ativan. it was at that point i decided to remove or reduce my meds against my doc's advice.  at week 3, it took me a week to remove the afternoon 0.5 ativan. one month in, the morning ativan, however it was not so easy. took me more than 1 month of tapering to remove, with pretty intense WD symptoms. this is where i am at, week 9, taking only 0.5mg ativan at night. and this is where all my question come in...

 

through out the whole process, my psych doc always assured me the dosage of ativan im taking is so small and i should be able to stop with minimum discomfort, at most taper over two weeks. She is more focused on getting me stablized on one of the SSRI or SNRI, while continue taking the "low" dose ativan. i realized pretty quickly this is furthest from the truth.  I explained to her all the symptoms i had after discontinued the day time ativans. she believes its the my underlying condition not fully recovered yet.

 

how can doc be so naive on benzo? Im somewhat angry why i was put on this med without being informed all the side effect this can cause.

am i experiencing the symptoms of the tapers or is it really the my underlying condition? will it be worse if i remove ativan compltetely? i do experience clearer mind, "windows of good periods", the less the ativan im taking.

im having hard time stabilizing. im having bad anxiety, heart conditions and shaking from 1:30-7:30 pm. it's always pretty consistant at this time frame. is this interdose withdrawals?

It's been a pretty tough two weeks. first i caught a flu, then my pharmacy changed generic ativan company. Im only able to get lorazepam made by Major pharmaceuticals.

is it common to go through bad symptoms and sleepless nights just by switching one generic brand to another?

is it ok to power through flu and continue to taper?

lots questsions, anything helps.

thanks everyone.

 

**Disclaimer: Have to say I'm not a doctor so this is just my opinion and information only.  Follow at your own risk.

 

Jeez, I'd say it's the 4 drug combo they put you on all at once.  In my opinion it looks like you did the right thing by stopping the zoloft and trazadone before the ativan and then slowly try to get yourself off the ativan.  Keep listening to what your body's telling you is my suggestion and keep slowly taking away the ativan.  You might split your remaining 0.5mg dose into 2 or 3 times a day instead of just at night to have a more consistent level in your system and then you might experience less symptoms during the middle part of your day that way.  If you can, keep taking 2 or 3 doses throughout the day and lower those amounts to 0.  If you're splitting your pills it can be difficult but you can do it by weight or ask for a liquid prescription of ativan.  There are people here who can suggest the best method to do this actually.  You can ask about it on this sub-forum: http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?board=56.0.

 

It could be the generic switching but I'd suggest to just keep going if you think you can tolerate it.  It's hard to know and you've got the flu and you were on those other drugs...  It would just be best to try to get off sooner than to worry about the formulation at this point in my opinion.  You're kind of trying to beat the clock too because you're 9 weeks on and that's relatively short compared to many so try not to stay on for much longer if you can avoid it because your body builds up a tolerance and it gets harder to get off later.

 

Wrt the flu, just try to take care of yourself the best you can and stay hydrated and rest rest rest.  Put your taper on hold if you need to but if you think you can tolerate it, then keep going while you have the flu.  Feeling crappy from the flu might actually distract some of the w/d symptoms.

 

Bottom line is try to get off as soon as you can while not making things too uncomfortable or too complicated.  You don't want to drag this out but you also want to be able to get off successfully so listen to your body and do what you can.  All the best to you.

Wow great questions.

 

I just got flu think in January and was horrible setback for me.  On top of all the withdrawal stuff very physically weakened, freezing, shaking, sweats, all very scary.

 

If you think you can power thru, that is good.  I upped a bit and took lyrica 2 nights  because I did think I was going to die.

 

Drs. no help, I'm alone, I sympathize with you.

Drs. don't know how to stabilize you is the thing, well, I mean me.  IF I knew how to stabilize, even it were taking 10 meds, I would do it at this point.  I got very sick 2 1/4 years ago and that is why I say this.  You are new to this so agree== try to get off as much as you can.  Wonder if a natural dr. could help you.

@[Se...]

 

@BarbaraAve:  Im only two month in this struggle and already feel like being crushed.  i can't fathom how much discomfort and courage you need to have to face all these challenges. Im very thankful benzobuddies provides us the platform to vent, get advice and comfort. healing is on the way.

@Seltzerer: thanks for the great advice. i will try to power through the flu. i can already feel it's getting harder and harder to reduce. it's just my confidence is shattered and sometime will have doubt if i will ever be the same....

 

@BarbaraAve:  Im only two month in this struggle and already feel like being crushed.  i can't fathom how much discomfort and courage you need to have to face all these challenges. Im very thankful benzobuddies provides us the platform to vent, get advice and comfort. healing is on the way.

 

The w/d can lead to worsening confidence and increasing doubt and fear.  That's part of the evil and insidiousness of this drug. You can push through though. You've got a great attitude and I wish you the best with getting off.

is interdose withdrawals real?

anxiety, irritability, aches... consistently begins around 130 and last til 730 for me daily. Is this due to the short acting 0.5 night time ativan?  is this common experience, even for short term use? 

will this get better as you taper down more? or will it just never stabilize due to the missing day time dosage?

 

thanks all

Here's a discussion on it from a benzo advocacy organization.

 

http://w-bad.org/interdose/

 

It typically doesn't get better the lower you get but it can and it can if you hold your dose for awhile.

 

Something that may help with these symptoms is to split your dose and take it more often throughout the day.

Since tapering on Friday, I  have a really hard time from 4pm on. Feel body aches, like flu but I know it's not. Panic attacks, anxiety, running to the bathroom heart pounding/racing.

Terrified inside. Insomnia kicked in and didn't sleep 2 nights in a row which made me go to er for a shot of benzos so strong I could sleep! I was delirious!I hope this will stabilize too for both of us. Take care!

 

is interdose withdrawals real?

anxiety, irritability, aches... consistently begins around 130 and last til 730 for me daily. Is this due to the short acting 0.5 night time ativan?  is this common experience, even for short term use? 

will this get better as you taper down more? or will it just never stabilize due to the missing day time dosage?

 

thanks all

@[Se...]

 

@Mindful Momma:  How long and how frequent you were taking Clon? How is you taper schedule like? best luck and prayers to you!

Hi Fisher K,

 

I've been taking Clonazapam for 11 years every day. The dosage has been up and down based on each inpatient stay where they have to get my panic at bay with higher benzo. Highest has been 4 mg but only for a couple weeks. Otherwise I've been tapering off 1 mg for 6 months. Down to .5. Right now I am so panicky  At night it's so tough to get to sleep and  literally afraid of the bed because I know I will lay down trembling for hours with no sleep. I just hope I dont have to go to er like last night because I went days without being able to sleep, too panicky! Thank you and prayers you

 

 

@Seltzerer:  thanks for the info. its so scary tolerance can develop  so quickly on benzo

 

@Mindful Momma:  How long and how frequent you were taking Clon? How is you taper schedule like? best luck and prayers to you!

Yes, if yu miss enough sleep yu get really desperate.  No sleep is really bad for the body, obvioiusly.  Kind of wondering if I have done more harm than good tryin to get off.    i am stubborn but after this long...  sigh...