WHY so much Negativity all the time?

WHY so much Negativity all the time?

i have it too. it's w/d.

Oh, I am not negative.  I'm just tired of hearing all the negativity.  I mean I understand the hell we are all going through and totally understand the need to vent.......but it is draining.  We need to look at the good side while we are in these storms and have gratitude even if we have to work at it.

 

   

Because this site is filled with hurt disappointed negative souls that need assurance or advice to reassure their not alone, most people that truly heal LEAVE the site and move on with their lives, well of course minus a few whom are just individuals that healed happy and have kind souls and take happiness in helping others reach the positive success they have achieved, some think their MDs or another Ashton but for the most part we’re all 🥜 lol. But I love the community, love reading the gossip or debates on what works with whom. But from personal experience least 60 percent here are very kind genuine people who if I ever met in real life I would be honoured to introduce them as friend.

We need to look at the good side while we are in these storms and have gratitude even if we have to work at it.

 

I find this statement really off-putting.  People go through the worst experiences in trying to get off benzos and they have the ability to share that here with others who have been through it and can understand and support them despite how negative or ugly it may be.  They do not need anyone telling them they need to "look at the good side" or "have gratitude" or to "work at it".  You're welcome to create your own space here and be as positive as you want but don't come around here if what people share offends you and please never tell anyone or ever presume to know what someone needs when they're going through this hell.

Hi Hopeforrecovery,

 

I've always been a positive person, so when I was going through withdrawal, I didn't recognize myself.  This process takes who we were, who we've always been and makes us strangers to ourselves and our loved ones.  The negativity you read here is a bi-product of withdrawal, and yes it can be distressing to read, but it's essential that people be allowed to express what they're feeling, to receive the validation they cannot get in real life. 

 

When I was at my worst, I couldn't even sit in front of the computer let alone interact with anyone, but being able to see that others were suffering as I was saved me.  I was so afraid and alone and even though it was disheartening to read the negative posts, they helped me know I wasn't making this stuff up, that what I was feeling was real even if no one in my life understood. 

 

I want you to know that since I healed from this nightmare, my great attitude has returned, and I'm hopeful that all of the great folks on this site will get back to who they were when they're healed, but in the meantime, this is a safe place for everyone to express their pain.

 

I love the fact that you're doing your best to stay positive, it's such an important part of this process, a positive attitude and distracting yourself from the symptoms are wonderful tools, keep up the good work. 

 

Heretohelp

 

WHY so much Negativity all the time?

 

Benzo withdrawal and recovery can be one of the most emotionally and physically agonizing experiences anyone can go through – it can literally destroy lives.

 

If that’s not your experience, you are very fortunate, and one way you could help reduce other folks’ negativity is to encourage them and offer them hope.

 

Here is a board that may be of interest to you:

 

  Accentuate the Positive!

Oh, I am not negative.  I'm just tired of hearing all the negativity.  I mean I understand the hell we are all going through and totally understand the need to vent.......but it is draining.  We need to look at the good side while we are in these storms and have gratitude even if we have to work at it

 

I've found Benzo withdrawal one of the hardest and loneliest things to go through. I'm guilty of being negative at times like most people. People on here are the only ones who really understand what it's like. Your family can sympathise but they don't understand withdrawal etc. That's why people vent on here, especially if you're on your own, it's tough. I'm also trying to deal with panic attacks that have returned after a few years. I don't know if this isn't suppressed stuff resurfacing but again, they're unpleasant to experience.

 

Here's some positives from me. I'm almost at the end of my long taper. I've had some hiccups along the way but I'm getting there. I'm feeling more positive in myself. I recently ran almost 10k, the longest I have ever run. I was ok afterwards. I'm training to do a 10k race in a few months. I won't be the fastest that's for sure, but it will be a massive achievement for me to run and cross that finish line.

WHY so much Negativity all the time?

 

Personally speaking there has been not a single positive for me either by consuming benzodiazepines or withdrawing from them, I can of course talk about the wonderful people I have met online as a result but apart from that there are zero positives.  I do not feel any gratitude for having my life destroyed by these drugs.

 

Others may feel differently.

No more pills.....I’ve always wanted to start trying to get into running but truthfully I’m lazy by nature, heavier set (245 lbs at 6,1) and I smoke so breath heavy....any tips or ideas to get me started in 🏃‍♀️ running?

Hey all, I agree with all of what you all said.  I am going through a living hell also.  I don't feel positive either.  But I'm working at it day by day with each new horrific symptom and yet, there have been many in here who have reached out to me to help and encourage me and others.  I've seen it and it's wonderful.  Right now I have a severe migraine, jaw pain, nausea, pressure in my head and high heart rate.  And yes, I am scared.  I went to see the doctor yesterday and it was so distressing my BP skyrocketed for hours.  Thought I was going to have a stroke and could not sleep last night out of terrible fear.  I won't go into the details, but I am working hard and trying not to notice every sxs, even when I'm in pain, even if I might have a stroke basically bcuz it only makes me feel worse. 

 

  That's all I'm talking about.  Mindfulness, thinking positive thoughts even if we have to INVENT them.  Yes, I comprehend exactly the horrific FEAR that takes over in us as we experience these terrible symptoms.  And yes, we need to be encouraged in here ..........ABSOLUTELY!  But we also have to work hard at trying to distract ourselves with positive things and thinking even when we are hurting.  That's all I was trying to say.

 

  Apologies if I came across as harsh, not my intention at all.

Would you ever go into a cancer or TBI forum and ask "why so much negativity"?

Hey all, I agree with all of what you all said.  I am going through a living hell also.  I don't feel positive either.  But I'm working at it day by day with each new horrific symptom and yet, there have been many in here who have reached out to me to help and encourage me and others.  I've seen it and it's wonderful.  Right now I have a severe migraine, jaw pain, nausea, pressure in my head and high heart rate.  And yes, I am scared.  I went to see the doctor yesterday and it was so distressing my BP skyrocketed for hours.  Thought I was going to have a stroke and could not sleep last night out of terrible fear.  I won't go into the details, but I am working hard and trying not to notice every sxs, even when I'm in pain, even if I might have a stroke basically bcuz it only makes me feel worse. 

 

  That's all I'm talking about.  Mindfulness, thinking positive thoughts even if we have to INVENT them.  Yes, I comprehend exactly the horrific FEAR that takes over in us as we experience these terrible symptoms.  And yes, we need to be encouraged in here ..........ABSOLUTELY!  But we also have to work hard at trying to distract ourselves with positive things and thinking even when we are hurting.  That's all I was trying to say.

 

  Apologies if I came across as harsh, not my intention at all.

 

Thanks and I understand.  I am responding to your language and wording, Hopeforrecovery.  "We" don't "have to" do anything when it comes to getting through w/d.  Each person will determine this for themselves.  The rest of us are here to empathize and support.  Mindfulness, encouragement, working hard, and positive thinking are all fantastic and helpful for recovery most would agree.  The real power here, I believe, is a non judgmental space for anyone to post what they're going through to get the help they need including freely sharing their negative experiences. 

 

I'm sorry to hear about the migraine and bp issues.  It's understandable you'd be worried about a stroke and I hope they calm down very soon for you.  Please take it easy.

My daughter had breast cancer at 41...had to have surgery.  We (FAMILY) all prayed over her and cursed that cancer.  She agreed in prayer.  She has tried to be very positive about it, even went to therapy to help her deal with it and know what they taught her?  They taught her to think about positive things and mindfulness and pray and meditation which is what she did.  She is now cancer free after several surgeries.

 

  My oldest sister die of cancer.  But throughout she did the same thing and worked hard at being positive and helping others who were going through the same thing.  That's all I am talking about.  Why can't you see this?

 

  I apologized, but I guess I must be BEATEN to a PULP first before some of you are satisfied.

My daughter had breast cancer at 41...had to have surgery.  We (FAMILY) all prayed over her and cursed that cancer.  She agreed in prayer.  She has tried to be very positive about it, even went to therapy to help her deal with it and know what they taught her?  They taught her to think about positive things and mindfulness and pray and meditation which is what she did.  She is now cancer free after several surgeries.

 

  My oldest sister die of cancer.  But throughout she did the same thing and worked hard at being positive and helping others who were going through the same thing.  That's all I am talking about.  Why can't you see this?

 

  I apologized, but I guess I must be BEATEN to a PULP first before some of you are satisfied.

 

I can see it.  That's wonderful for your daughter and your family.  I agree with you that positivity is great for healing.  I'm not sure you can see what I'm saying.  That's all.  I'm not trying to beat you to a pulp and I apologize for making you feel that way.

No more pills.....I’ve always wanted to start trying to get into running but truthfully I’m lazy by nature, heavier set (245 lbs at 6,1) and I smoke so breath heavy....any tips or ideas to get me started in 🏃‍♀️ running?

 

Do you have a local Parkrun to where you live? Try that. You're never last as there's always a Tailwalker. If you can't Jog, walk it. People do who are getting back to or trying to get fit for the first time. Parkrun is free for everyone and takes place every Saturday at 9am. I've made lots of new friends and it's helped my mental health.  Have a look at the Parkrun website 

No more pills.....I’ve always wanted to start trying to get into running but truthfully I’m lazy by nature, heavier set (245 lbs at 6,1) and I smoke so breath heavy....any tips or ideas to get me started in 🏃‍♀️ running?

 

I'm a former marathon runner.  First off, good shoes make all the difference.  You also need to replace shoes every six months if you are exercising for long periods religiously.  Start by walking, then walking with brisk walking intervals, then walk briskly, then walk briskly with little jogging intervals, then jog with little running intervals, then run with little jogging intervals, then run with little sprinting intervals, then you will run so effortlessly.  Walk awhile after your jog/run to cool down.  I did a bit of stretching before, but mostly after to cool down.  Also incorporated calisthenics in my routine with some light weights.  Treadmills help too, obviously.  If anything hurts, don't push it.  You already know about the smoking, so I won't comment upon that.  Obviously, if you have any serious medical issues, you should discuss with your doctor.  It's important that you enjoy whatever exercise you do, however, otherwise one probably won't stick to it.  I loved running. 

Because this is the most awful and loneliest thing most of us has ever been through, and I for one have been through some bad sh**.  Sometimes "being positive" is impossible and it's BS. 

NMSafe,

 

 

    Seems impossible, but I still work at it.  Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Mindfulness and Meditation.  I am so bad off right now I cannot even exercise .........AT ALL.  The pain in my head is extreme.....and I cannot take medication for it.  Severe Nausea.  But I keep thinking about when I'm off this medicine and begin to heal.  It won't be for years unfortunately, but I can dream about it and hope for it.

NMSafe,

 

 

    Seems impossible, but I still work at it.  Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Mindfulness and Meditation.  I am so bad off right now I cannot even exercise .........AT ALL.  The pain in my head is extreme.....and I cannot take medication for it.  Severe Nausea.  But I keep thinking about when I'm off this medicine and begin to heal.  It won't be for years unfortunately, but I can dream about it and hope for it.

 

100%. Even on my worst days, I tried my best to be grateful. I have done CBT, meditation, mindfulness, but when it's the worst? Commiserating seems to to help.  I'm currently in a more "up" phase, thankfully, because our daughter and her family are moving across the country for a year.  I'm trying my best not to drown in my misery, but a few weeks ago it seems like I was barely making it hour by hour and minute by minute with some outrageously strong symptoms.  Debilitating mental stuff. 

Also simply (or not so simply) because of what is going on in our brains, making it nearly impossible to feel hope or positivity (I LOAAATHE the whole "positive thinking" will change everything for the better for many reasons). I have a scientific mind, and I almost always have a driving need to know WHY. It's not always possible.  http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=44373.0

Hey all, I agree with all of what you all said.  I am going through a living hell also.  I don't feel positive either.  But I'm working at it day by day with each new horrific symptom and yet, there have been many in here who have reached out to me to help and encourage me and others.  I've seen it and it's wonderful.  Right now I have a severe migraine, jaw pain, nausea, pressure in my head and high heart rate.  And yes, I am scared.  I went to see the doctor yesterday and it was so distressing my BP skyrocketed for hours.  Thought I was going to have a stroke and could not sleep last night out of terrible fear.  I won't go into the details, but I am working hard and trying not to notice every sxs, even when I'm in pain, even if I might have a stroke basically bcuz it only makes me feel worse. 

 

  That's all I'm talking about.  Mindfulness, thinking positive thoughts even if we have to INVENT them.  Yes, I comprehend exactly the horrific FEAR that takes over in us as we experience these terrible symptoms.  And yes, we need to be encouraged in here ..........ABSOLUTELY!  But we also have to work hard at trying to distract ourselves with positive things and thinking even when we are hurting.  That's all I was trying to say.

 

  Apologies if I came across as harsh, not my intention at all.

 

I appreciate what you are saying but mindfulness and positive thinking were of no use to me whatsoever during the first few years of withdrawal, I was so cognitively impaired, I could not construct thoughts in my mind, I had to find my own way to cope with a horrific withdrawal. I therefore would avoid all discussions about mindfulness and positive thinking.  Even now at almost 6 year I continue to have mood swings, as if a switch flicks in my brain, so one day I will be very positive, the next day I will be the opposite, this is not under my control and all I can do is try to cope with these different states of mind as best I can. 

I can relate to that as well.  When I went COLD TURKEY from Adivan.........I went through the same thing......I was so crippled, I could not even get anyone to talk or encourage me at all.  I could not even sit at the computer.  I lost 35 lbs in one month.  I'm all shriveled up and wrinkled now and I was so youthful before.  So I've been there where my husband was sobbing and scared and so was I.  There was no positive thinking then. 

 

  I'm just talking about when you can to think positive and think of good things .......when you can.  I am in severe pain today, but I can sit up and type for now and that's a good thing.  I wish the pain would stop but it's getting worse as I sit here.  Yet, I will continue to concentrate on anything I can think of that is good and pure and lovely.  I am determined to train my mind to think on good things instead of how I am feeling for now anyway.

 

  I'm sure it will get worse for me as I taper ...then I'll know even more how hard it is.  I'll most likely shut down.......that's kind of what I do. 

 

  But as long as I can think positive, I intend to and pray and meditate.  Even if I cannot speak it, I'll think it then.

Re "negativity", nobody chooses depression/utter despair.  Why would they?  It's awful.  My empathy to all suffering. 

Yes, Totally agree.