Author Topic: How to adapt to your new self/lifestyle.  (Read 1368 times)

[Buddie]

Re: How to adapt to your new self/lifestyle.
« Reply #20 on: August 19, 2019, 12:30:15 am »
for now though, i just soak up the sunshine, do chores around the house, try to get a shower everyday, brush and waterpik every night, take all meds at scheduled times, make sure i mix the 10 or 14 day supply liquid meds on schedule, try to keep a grocery list of things i'm running out of...

on good days, today was a window for me, i painted outside. it was awesome to do something i loved and was once professional at...even though i can't paint portraits yet, i'll get there. for now, i'm exploring abstract and watercolor'ish melting and blended colors type non-picture paintings. i can feel the parts of my old brain wanting to come back, but not there yet. taking it slow.

i listen to audiobooks now. it's my substitute for "therapy". the therapists i saw broke my trust and taught me badly anyways. now i pick and chose what i want to learn or listen to...and it's much better i think.

...to heal my trauma and anxiety (which caused me to take the first medication & "self medication")...

   because my withdrawal brain can't focus on the written page long enough to read a book, and because my eyesight is poor, and because i can relax and absorb the info when i'm just listening to someone's voice....

i listen to audiobooks on trauma, complex ptsd, ptsd, narcissistic abuse, dealing with childhood and adult abuse, how to rethink (everything), how to become aware of one's physical and mental body cues/symptoms and use them to change behavior, dietary and supplemental tools to effect positive healing change in the body and mind, alternative and holistic healing practices, meditation/mindfulness, how to regain self-sesteem, how to forgive, finding new ways to support oneself/career changes, disability and caregiving, the way our bodies work, brain plasticity, supplements and foods and drug interactions, reintegration into society after isolation, securing healthcare/providers on limited or no income, naturopathic and ayurvedic etc healing methods...etc!

 my first real self-HELPFUL audiobook was:
https://www.amazon.com/Unfu-Yourself-Your-Head-into-ebook/dp/B071F7C5NQ/ref=pd_sim_351_2/146-5893554-1405956?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=B071F7C5NQ&pd_rd_r=5fdd62d6-7cd2-41dd-b8e6-311ef8c2d695&pd_rd_w=ho0ar&pd_rd_wg=Kyon4&pf_rd_p=90485860-83e9-4fd9-b838-b28a9b7fda30&pf_rd_r=GZT7PZMQFN5Z5Q455EPK&psc=1&refRID=GZT7PZMQFN5Z5Q455EPK 

1. "Unfu*k Yourself: Get Out of Your Head and into Your Life (Unfu*k Yourself series)" Kindle Edition by Gary John Bishop  :thumbsup:

my take on this audiobook: first of all, the author is also the narrator, and i LOVED his thick Scottish accent and his very frank to the point no BS or beatin around the bush style of speaking. it did not feel like a "book" being read. it felt like a bloke in a pub, or a really down to earth old soul, just telling me stuff. telling me things that i guess i knew in my heart but wouldn't or couldn't get to my conscious level of thinking. anyways, the things he explained, well, all i can say is my house is getting clean for the first time. like..ever.  i mean my actual home. i have been so unmotivated, or when i would get moments of motivation to clean, i would quickly get so overwhelmed and manic and confused that i'd give up midway between several tasks and nothing got done. so self- defeating. but for some reason, after listening to this guy speak to me, i just got up and started doing stuff. i started riding a bike again. i let go of a bunch of stuff that was weighing me down, mentally/emotionally and then physically. i started to eat better. this audiobook was so good i listened to it 2x. i wish he would narrate more books...it went by so fast!

as for reintegration...there's a great thread on the BB forum about this if you put reintegration in the search box...

i have no friends outside of Hubbs and i occassionally feel longing for some of the old ones i had, but the fact is they abandoned me. period. i don't need to go back to people who won't stick around when things get tough. so i'm just gonna have to make new friends. and that takes time...lots of time. i need to focus on bettering myself and my character flaws now...then making friends will come easy later down the road.

until then...i've made some nice aquaintances here.  :mybuddy: and maybe they will turn into real life friends later, who knows? but for me, i don't plan on putting myself out there until i'm more confident and strong. right now i'm too vulnerable and it's too easy for me to absorb other people's negativity, so i stay a loner for now. which works for me cause i need to paint. painting doesn't happen with socializing going on, for me anyways...
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: How to adapt to your new self/lifestyle.
« Reply #21 on: August 26, 2019, 11:17:46 am »
I am in the same situation now. What I'm trying to do, after years of being alone, is to go out often to every possibile situation of "social life", even if it is my old aunt or my neighbour. I accept to stay even if I don't speak at all or don't enjoy company. I want to arrive to have the courage to face all social situation possibles. It's not easy but It seems I'm less shy lately. 😁
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: How to adapt to your new self/lifestyle.
« Reply #22 on: August 26, 2019, 12:12:43 pm »
This thread incites me to ask a suggestion related to "social life" to you kind guys.
I ended wd six months ago. I feel good generally, but I have setbacks often. Now it's a week that I sleep almost nothing.
I met a woman before last week, I felt very good, I like her, and  probably it's reciprocal. Anyway she wrote me this morning. But I am not in condition to invite her out again. Urghhhh!
Consider I broke with my girlfriend because of benzo, 3 years and a half ago. Since then I didn't see any woman at all.
About this new woman, considering that telling her the whole truth could be a bad idea, what I could say her? What should I do? To wait, to tell I don't feel good, putting her on hold.. I don't know really..
Now let's imagine we are on a date website 😁
It's so important for me to begin to live again, you know, but probably I am not in the condition still.
Help! (I love you guys so much, anyway).
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: How to adapt to your new self/lifestyle.
« Reply #23 on: August 27, 2019, 07:23:20 am »
This thread incites me to ask a suggestion related to "social life" to you kind guys.
I ended wd six months ago. I feel good generally, but I have setbacks often. Now it's a week that I sleep almost nothing.
I met a woman before last week, I felt very good, I like her, and  probably it's reciprocal. Anyway she wrote me this morning. But I am not in condition to invite her out again. Urghhhh!
Consider I broke with my girlfriend because of benzo, 3 years and a half ago. Since then I didn't see any woman at all.
About this new woman, considering that telling her the whole truth could be a bad idea, what I could say her? What should I do? To wait, to tell I don't feel good, putting her on hold.. I don't know really..
Now let's imagine we are on a date website 😁
It's so important for me to begin to live again, you know, but probably I am not in the condition still.
Help! (I love you guys so much, anyway).


[...],

I think you should invite her out and be open with her and tell her that you're recovering from a medication you took in the past. I'm on a dating app and met a guy and told him and he was super interested, watching YouTube videos and everything. We're not together due to total lack of chemistry but not because of the wd thing. If she likes you and she's a nice girl, she won't mind. If she does mind then she's not worth it. Many guys are dating and they have real issues that should turn a woman away, not this. This is a very difficult problem which you're fighting and winning, and it was never your fault.
« Last Edit: August 27, 2019, 07:37:39 am by [Buddie] »
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: How to adapt to your new self/lifestyle.
« Reply #24 on: August 27, 2019, 10:01:43 am »
[...], thank you for your answer!
It looks like telling the truth could be the best thing, but I am not still sure about that. None really believes to the story of benzo wd when sympthoms take a long time. This benzo story is for me something so personal and critical that I can discuss it only on this forum and with my family.
In general I am a man who wants to tell the truth. I didn't lie or cheat in my relationships before benzo. But in this case people get scared, simply cannot understand.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: How to adapt to your new self/lifestyle.
« Reply #25 on: August 27, 2019, 10:13:48 am »
[...], thank you for your answer!
It looks like telling the truth could be the best thing, but I am not still sure about that. None really believes to the story of benzo wd when sympthoms take a long time. This benzo story is for me something so personal and critical that I can discuss it only on this forum and with my family.
In general I am a man who wants to tell the truth. I didn't lie or cheat in my relationships before benzo. But in this case people get scared, simply cannot understand.

[...] it's not like we've killed someone. It's a disease. Pharmacologically induced. You can tell her you are recovering from the ill effects that you suffered over three years coming off a medication that you always took as prescribed but was hell to come off of. Trust me, if she really likes you and is an empathetic person, she'll want to understand. If she doesn't, she's not your girl. There are great people on YouTube explaining this hell. If she happens to want to learn once you tell her, you can send her a link of a video by neighbor Bob or anyone of your preference. If she's going to run away as soon as you tell her, you better tell her ASAP. She's not the only girl out there. And there aren't so many nice guys available.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: How to adapt to your new self/lifestyle.
« Reply #26 on: August 27, 2019, 01:06:24 pm »
Hi [...],

If you're worried about oversharing but want to be honest, maybe you could just tell her that you have been in poor health for a while, and that you're doing better but want to take things slowly as you continue to recover. You can always share more details when you know her better. Good luck, and congrats on getting back out into the world!

[...]
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: How to adapt to your new self/lifestyle.
« Reply #27 on: August 27, 2019, 01:24:28 pm »
Hi [...],

If you're worried about oversharing but want to be honest, maybe you could just tell her that you have been in poor health for a while, and that you're doing better but want to take things slowly as you continue to recover. You can always share more details when you know her better. Good luck, and congrats on getting back out into the world!

[...]

That sounds like a great idea  :thumbsup:
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: How to adapt to your new self/lifestyle.
« Reply #28 on: August 27, 2019, 03:18:36 pm »
[...], thank you for your answer!
It looks like telling the truth could be the best thing, but I am not still sure about that. None really believes to the story of benzo wd when sympthoms take a long time. This benzo story is for me something so personal and critical that I can discuss it only on this forum and with my family.
In general I am a man who wants to tell the truth. I didn't lie or cheat in my relationships before benzo. But in this case people get scared, simply cannot understand.

[...] it's not like we've killed someone. It's a disease. Pharmacologically induced. You can tell her you are recovering from the ill effects that you suffered over three years coming off a medication that you always took as prescribed but was hell to come off of. Trust me, if she really likes you and is an empathetic person, she'll want to understand. If she doesn't, she's not your girl. There are great people on YouTube explaining this hell. If she happens to want to learn once you tell her, you can send her a link of a video by neighbor Bob or anyone of your preference. If she's going to run away as soon as you tell her, you better tell her ASAP. She's not the only girl out there. And there aren't so many nice guys available.


Yes probably I'have still a sense of guilt, but it has not reason to exist I know... Anyway she cannot speak english so eventually I could send her only the italian version of ashton manual :) I don't know
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: How to adapt to your new self/lifestyle.
« Reply #29 on: August 27, 2019, 03:20:36 pm »
Hi [...],

If you're worried about oversharing but want to be honest, maybe you could just tell her that you have been in poor health for a while, and that you're doing better but want to take things slowly as you continue to recover. You can always share more details when you know her better. Good luck, and congrats on getting back out into the world!

[...]

Yes maybe I'll follow this strategy   ;D
Thanks!
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.