Author Topic: How to adapt to your new self/lifestyle.  (Read 1582 times)

[Buddie]

Re: How to adapt to your new self/lifestyle.
« Reply #10 on: March 14, 2019, 06:05:22 am »
Hey Nick and everybody...This subject is one that is under represented on this site.  It is tough to address or talk about since it is not a physical symptom ,a precise tapering schedule or a supplement.  It is so difficult to describe in concrete terms.  Heather Ashton speaks to this subject of emotional and psychological trauma due to benzo withdrawal. She doesn't have answers but great observations of the devastating effects.  This consequence of this benzo beast scares me the most.  I am watching my life melt away while I wait in isolation for symptoms to recede enough to live again.  How do I repair the broken relationships and re-enter my life?  The anxiety produced through this loss of self increases my symptoms ten fold.

I would like to see a major thread addressing this emotional trauma.  I think this loss of self is 75% of the healing that needs to occur.  We need to look at this now...no matter where you are at.  I am a few months out and see that I am losing everything.  This doesn't have to be.  There is a lot of knowledgeable and insightful people on this site.  Who can help with this???

I thoroughly agree. 
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[Buddie]

Re: How to adapt to your new self/lifestyle.
« Reply #11 on: March 14, 2019, 12:01:03 pm »
For me joining a health club got me talking to new people. Particularly, in the dry sauna. You can meet all sorts of people in there of various ages and even do business deals with some. They all thought I was complete batshit last summer but they see the progress I've made and I have new friends now. It is stressful and annoying though to talk to new people. Especially when they text you all the time but it is better than complete isolation. We can't do this alone.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: How to adapt to your new self/lifestyle.
« Reply #12 on: June 15, 2019, 08:34:00 pm »
Thanks for this thread guys. I agree, this has been one of the hardest struggles for me. A complete loss of sense of self, social life, job, friendships and any romantic relationships. It has been hard to feel confident enough to talk to new people or make new friends because Iím so scared to say Iím not working, why.. etc. I think itís my ego I need to let go of, accept where I am and give myself some credit for going through the hardest thing Iíve ever done in my life and just let all of social anxiety and overwhelming thoughts of what other people think of me go (easier said than done obviously, this is a work in progress). I do agree with [...], I joined a yoga studio about a year ago and Iíve met some really nice people. Even if we donít hang out outside of the studio, itís nice to socialize with other people, we may grab a cup of tea or something in the cafe, and just having other people in the general vicinity has been really helpful (I live alone so itís just nice to see other human being lol). Another lesson I have learned about yoga is that many people practicing yoga are on a journey of healing from something and I have found it to be a very accepting community. I also found a local zen center that offers free guided mediation classes and free lunch afterwards. Again it feels as though there are many people in the zen community working through various processes of healing and Iíve found it to be another accepting community where no one seems to care what you do for work, how much money you make, if you donít drink alcohol etc. you can also volunteer your time there working in the community garden or prepping food in the kitchen for the lunches offered. I find it helps to be around other people, even if we arenít talking much. Most communities (at least in US) have some sort of zen communities nearby. Iíve also been volunteering at soup kitchens preparing and serving food to the less fortunate. When Iím feeling crappy it helps me to do something for someone else and get out of my own head and help someone else who may be in much harder life circumstances than me (itís hard to imagine things harder than benzo withdrawal but there are. At least I have a roof over my head, a little savings to live off of temporarily, and family members who love me and would never let me be homeless).

Sorry, feel like Iím ranting a bit , but this thread really spoke to me. Iím mourning the old me and the person i once was and the active and vibrant social life I once had. But I am confident I will get it back, and yes it probably wonít be the same as my ďold lifeĒ but who knows? Maybe it will be better! I think we will all be so much more self aware after this, we wonít take good mental and physical health for granted, we will have had time to reflect on who our true friends are, what we want out of the relationships in our lives and weíll be stronger than ever.  If we can conquer this, we can conquer anything!
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: How to adapt to your new self/lifestyle.
« Reply #13 on: June 15, 2019, 10:25:21 pm »
I prefer talking to strangers. They have no idea just how confused I am.  :D
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: How to adapt to your new self/lifestyle.
« Reply #14 on: June 16, 2019, 12:48:28 am »
I am not afraid to meet my old friends, but it's quite uncomfortable to go outside, because i feel like i look tired, and sick. Also i can't enjoy socializing that much anymore, because my social skills have been damaged. I don't have much social anxiety, but i feel incomplete after being with friends. Mostly i feel unloved, and a retard, without a gf. I wasted my time on getting messed up, and spending all my money on parties, without meeting new girls. That haunts me everyday. A man cannot just constantly suppress his love, he will enter madness, or become an alcoholic.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: How to adapt to your new self/lifestyle.
« Reply #15 on: June 16, 2019, 12:53:47 am »
I prefer talking to strangers. They have no idea just how confused I am.  :D
Same!
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: How to adapt to your new self/lifestyle.
« Reply #16 on: June 16, 2019, 12:57:54 am »
[...],  Glad ya picked the thread up.  I posted on this thread when I was 3 months out from a c/t.  There was no way I could have connected with people.  This ability was 'gone' with acute.  I am 6 months out and I can connect to others...finally!  I am picking up the pieces of my life, one at a time.  I lost a lot while in tolerance, then acute w/d, so my life was messy.  But, everyday, it's coming back together because I can engage again.  [...], you are doing fantastic if you can be out there among people after 3 months off.  I love your volunteering even though ya feel like crap.  That's good stuff!  I don't have a zen community where I live but I created a room just for meditation and yoga.  I meet with Deepak chopra everyday to do my healing work.  Keep up the fight!
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: How to adapt to your new self/lifestyle.
« Reply #17 on: June 17, 2019, 02:36:09 pm »
[...],  Glad ya picked the thread up.  I posted on this thread when I was 3 months out from a c/t.  There was no way I could have connected with people.  This ability was 'gone' with acute.  I am 6 months out and I can connect to others...finally!  I am picking up the pieces of my life, one at a time.  I lost a lot while in tolerance, then acute w/d, so my life was messy.  But, everyday, it's coming back together because I can engage again.  [...], you are doing fantastic if you can be out there among people after 3 months off.  I love your volunteering even though ya feel like crap.  That's good stuff!  I don't have a zen community where I live but I created a room just for meditation and yoga.  I meet with Deepak chopra everyday to do my healing work.  Keep up the fight!

@[...] thank you for the words of encouragement! I do have hard days but overall I do feel like Im doing well. Im trying my best to stay occupied and busy because when I'm not is when things get really bad. The idle mind is the devils playground as they say... My symptoms have mostly been mental instead of physical (for the most part). I didn't blog on here or keep a progress journal during my tapering, but in retrospect I think I was suffering way more throughout the taper period than post jump. The taper was the worst 8 months of my life. I think Im also just feeling so grateful that I finally conquered the beast and that poison is out of my body so I know things will only get better moving forward. I get really sad when I think of how many of my young years of life have been wasted on the benzo haze. Hind sight Ö

How are you doing in your healing journey [...]? I downloaded the Power of Know by Deepak Chopra and have been trying to listen to it, Im not sure my brain is ready to comprehend the depth of his messages yet, but Im trying. Im also listening to the Happiness Advantage which talks about mindset and the power of a positive mind, and its helping. If we believe we are healing we will heal!

Anyone else suffering with loneliness? Has life just changed with technology where we are less connected as a society? Or is it just me feeling this way? Im so craving human connection and friendship and I feel like I always have been. I think the benzos masked my loneliness for many years and now that Im benzo free perhaps Im just feeling all emotions so much more acutely. But the loneliness is a killer for sure.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: How to adapt to your new self/lifestyle.
« Reply #18 on: June 17, 2019, 06:02:00 pm »
I prefer talking to strangers. They have no idea just how confused I am.  :D

I tell my husband this everyday.  I only go where I know ... nobody.

[...]
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: How to adapt to your new self/lifestyle.
« Reply #19 on: August 19, 2019, 12:13:00 am »
For me joining a health club got me talking to new people. Particularly, in the dry sauna. You can meet all sorts of people in there of various ages and even do business deals with some. They all thought I was complete batshit last summer but they see the progress I've made and I have new friends now. It is stressful and annoying though to talk to new people. Especially when they text you all the time but it is better than complete isolation. We can't do this alone.

when i'm better, i would LOVE to go to a gym! especially to swim and maybe sauna/sweat if i can take the heat.

Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.