Obsessed with getting sleep 😴

I just want to stop obsessing over not sleeping well. I have always been obsessive about sleep which is why I’m in the mess I’m in now. I tell myself I won’t die with lack of sleep and that I’ll survive the day with very little sleep but I still obsess all day everyday. I feel terrible that I keep my husband up all night freaking out about it. I go to bed way too late because I’m terrified I won’t sleep. I think I have ptsd from a breakdown I had years ago when I went 5 days with 0 sleep. Any advice or incouragement would really help me during this time. I hate being like this. My husband can go off of very little sleep and not obsess over it like I do. 😔

Oh and the night sweats are making it even worse with sleeep. 

Yeah, sleep anxiety is what got a lot of us prescribed Benzos to begin with! You are NOT alone with this issue. Read through this site a bit more and you will find folks with plenty of good advice and different (natural) things to try in order to settle yourself down at night.

It's hard to know how much of your issue is benzo-withdrawal vs. classic primary insomnia. Primary insomnia is often fueled by our own negative thoughts and obsession about sleep. There are a number of exercises you can do to gradually train the mind to focus less on sleep, or at least have more rational thoughts about it, but it takes time and practice. Cognitive restructing, cognitive defusion, and designated worrying time are three such techniques. Ideally, a Psych with training in CBT for insomnia is something you should look into if you don't think this is purely just physical withdrawal.

You were not on your benzo for very long, but it every night for 4 weeks was probably a bit too long. Going cold-turkey didn't help things either, but what is done is done. Once withdrawal symptoms set in, sleep can be expected to be difficult for a while. Obsessing about sleep is very common because we have been conditioned all of our life that a good night's sleep is essential to our health and well-being. Also, anxiety tends to ramp up during withdrawal and sleep/health obsession is a common expression of it.

I think that most of us develop an aversion to our beds during withdrawal-induced insomnia. You can try to find another temporary sleeping arrangement, but a better approach would be to view your bed as a place of rest where you don't have to do anything or deal with anything, even if sleep does not find you. You should  know that even on nights were you are certain that you are getting no sleep at all, small amounts of light sleep are setting in without you being aware of them. That is often why we get through the day better than we would have though possible without sleep.

The real elephant in the room is your sleep problem that led to the taking of the benzo in the first place. Natural remedies should be explored, but these will probably not be effective until after your brain chemistry settles down and regains balance following the benzo use and cold-turkey. I think that sometimes experiencing an extended period of bad insomnia brought on by a withdrawal can actually help you deal with normal insomnia in the future. At least you would have learned that you really can still function with much less sleep than you thought possible and that can help lessen the anxiety.

I used to obsess over my (lousy) sleep, and it resulted in me starting benzos.  During my withdrawal, I learned to stop obsessing over my sleep.  I no longer get angry when I wake up at 3 or 4 am (which is pretty much every night).  I no longer fret about not getting 8 hours of sleep (which never happens).  7 hours is a miracle, 4 or 5 is pretty much my average and I function just fine. 

You'll have to unlearn some beliefs about sleep.  It takes time, but it's possible.  I found something to do when I woke up which distracted me from getting angry/sad about being awake at 3 am.  Eventually, the emotion faded.  I still wake up at 3 or 4 many nights.  It's no biggie.  It's just who I am and I've come to accept it.

I just want to stop obsessing over not sleeping well. I have always been obsessive about sleep which is why I’m in the mess I’m in now. I tell myself I won’t die with lack of sleep and that I’ll survive the day with very little sleep but I still obsess all day everyday. I feel terrible that I keep my husband up all night freaking out about it. I go to bed way too late because I’m terrified I won’t sleep. I think I have ptsd from a breakdown I had years ago when I went 5 days with 0 sleep. Any advice or incouragement would really help me during this time. I hate being like this. My husband can go off of very little sleep and not obsess over it like I do. 😔

 

 

Oh and the night sweats are making it even worse with sleeep. 

I was exactly where you are now not that long ago.  I used to freak out and wake up my entire house for months when I was not sleeping well.  I would punch the pillow, toss and turn and even swear out loud.  It helped nothing and only ensured that I would get little, if any sleep.  It took me about six months to realize that chasing sleep only causes it to elude you.  Obsessing about sleep only makes it worse.  Acceptance and SURRENDER were/are key.  I finally was able to accept and surrender to my WD insomnia and then it slow got better.  I kept telling myself lack of sleep will not kill me and I worked hard to not give a rat's butt if I slept or not.  It certainly didn't fix things right away, but over time, they slowly improved. 

I had terrible sleep anxiety and thought about sleep every waking second to the point where I could barely focus or concentrate on anything else.  It created a vicious cycle of not sleeping much at all for months and months.  When I started to get 4 or 5 hours every night I thought I was completely healed!  Now I get 6-10 hours pretty much every single night.  My sleep has slowly been improving even at 30 months off.

I thought WD and lack of sleep gave me PTSD too, but it wasn't true.  All my symptoms slowly faded with time and my sleep slowly returned.  I wasn't broken and you are not broken either.  If it's any consolation, I went at least 10 - 12 times with 3 nights in a row of no perceived (zero) sleep and 2 times it was 4 nights in a row.  It does suck, but it won't kill you.  It will even out over time.  Ask your husband how he handles the lack of sleep without obsessing over it.

Thank you everyone for your comments, it really means a lot to me. Even though I have support from my family I feel so alone in this. Thank goodness for Benzo Buddies!

ThEwAy2 my husband says there isn’t much he can do about it so he just doesn’t think about it. Gaaah I hope one day I am more like him. Im just such a grouch with little sleep and I feel so bad for my husband and kids.