Just FALLING APART!

Well My Muscles ache, lower back, abdomen, my legs ache, my head fills light headed alot anymore and brain fog, now my forehead is twitching so yeah all signs that any sleep I get is doing nothing but making my body shut down more

 

You say you cant get brain damage from a bunch of lack of sleep, well I probably would be the first then the way I keep feeling

Feelings have nothing to do with reality.  Walk by faith and not by how you feel.  If you were in a car accident and still had pain from injuries, that doesn't mean they are not healing!  The same is true for Benzo withdrawal healing.

 

It am pretty certain you are not out of withdrawal and everything you are complaining about is a withdrawal symptom.  (see list below)

 

THESE ARE JUST SOME OF THE MANY REPORTED SIGNS AND SYMPTOMS OF BENZODIAZEPINE WITHDRAWAL: You may or may not experience these symptoms.

MENTAL/COGNITIVE/BEHAVIORAL SIGNS.

 

    Aggressive Behavior

    Agitation/Irritability/Short Tempered/Rage Outbursts

    Agoraphobia

    Anhedonia

    Anxiety/Panic/Terror Attacks/Development of Various Fears and Phobias

    Apathy

    Cognitive Impairment/Fog

    Confusion

    Crying

    Depression

    Depersonalization

    Derealization

    Dysphoria

    Emotional Lability

    Feeling numb or like a “zombie on autopilot”/Feeling over-sedated

    Hallucinations

    Hearing Voices

    Impaired Judgment

    Intrusive thoughts/Excessive negative thinking and feelings of doom

    Irrational Thoughts and Behavior

    Loss of Creativity

    Mania

    Memory & Concentration Issues

    Monophobia

    Mood Swings

    Neurocognitive problems

    Obsessive compulsive or other “odd” behavior

    Paranoia

    Personality Changes

    Reckless Behavior

    Self-Harming Thoughts and Behavior

    Stress Intolerance

    Suicidal Ideation

PHYSICAL SIGNS

 

    Adrenaline Rushes

    Akathisia/Restlessness

    Allergies & Sensitivities increasing or developing

    Appetite changes

    Aura

    Blood Pressure Issues, fluctuations

    Cardiac Symptoms – Bradycardia (slow heart rate), Tachycardia (rapid heart rate), Heart Palpitations, Pounding heart

    Clenching jaw, especially during sleep (TMJ)

    Chills

    Increased susceptibility to illness, stress on the immune system

    Diminished Motor Skills – Clumsiness, Coordination Problems, Difficulty walking, Dropping things, Falling down

    Dizziness/Vertigo/Balance Issues (General vestibular disturbances)

    Drooling

    Dysautonomia Symptoms

    Dysphagia (swallowing difficulty)

    Earache

    Exhaustion

    Fainting

    Fasciculations (benign)

    Fatigue/Lethargy/Weakness

    Flu-Like Symptoms

    Frequent Urination

    Gastrointestinal Symptoms

    Grinding Teeth / TMJ problms

    Hair Loss

    Headaches

    Hearing loss or changes

    Hormonal Issues

    Hyperacusis (sensitivity to sound frequency)

    Inner Vibrating or Buzzing

    Intolerance to cold and heat

    Itching/Skin Rashes/Hives

    Joint Pain (And other joint issues)

    Lightheaded

    Loss of Coordination

    Malaise

    Menstrual Issues

    Migraine with or without aura

    Motion sickness susceptibility

    Muscle Symptoms – Clenching, Cramping, Loss of muscle tone, Over-or under-active muscle reflexes, Pain, Spasms, Squeezing, Stiffness, Tension, Twitching

    Nerve Pain

    Paresthesia – Tingling, tickling, prickling, numbness, burning of skin

    Perceptual disturbance (feeling of being on a boat, feelings of unreality, deja vu, etc.)

    Peripheral Neuropathy

    Photophobia

    Phonophobia

    Respiratory – Shortness of breath, Can’t get deep breath, Labored breathing, Over-breathing

    Sensitivity to light and sound

    Sensitivity to smells, including naturally occurring smells or chemicals such as fragrance

    Sensitivity to temperature, weather and pressure changes

    Shaking/Rigors/Tremors

    Sleep Issues – Excessive sleeping, Insomnia, Myoclonic jerks, Sleep paralysis, No dreaming, Vivid dreaming, Nightmares

    Slurred Speech

    Sweats

    Tachycardia between doses or in the morning, or generalized

    Tight Throat/Ball-in-throat sensation

    Tinnitus (Ringing or pulsatile effects in ears)

    Tremors

    Vision Issues – blurred vision, seeing spots, grainy visions, after-images, sensitivities

    Weight Loss

    Withdrawal symptoms that will intensify between doses or near dosing times

 

Source:  w-bad.org

 

I think the most asked question in withdrawal is, “How long is this going to last?” Because of the persisting symptoms, it is inevitable that one will desperately want to know how much longer the suffering will last. So it’s near-impossible to not ask this question. One week of symptoms is a week too long.

 

If you find that thoughts of duration are preoccupying your mind, don’t be hard on yourself. Accept that it is normal to want to know. But also remind yourself that this is a question no one can answer and the more you obsess about it, the more frustrated and upset you will become. A watched pot seems never to boil. The more you focus on duration, the more you will lose patience. And patience is key to coping well.

 

So, as you navigate your way through another day of withdrawal, see if you can make peace with the process, and dig deep down for more patience. Don’t project too far ahead. For now, it is about getting through the day, trusting that tomorrow will take care of itself.

 

Trust that no matter how long this process is taking, healing is happening and you are headed for recovery. The time will come when you will be able to put this experience behind you and move on.

 

I know I say this a lot but it is oh so important.  I am just asking you to please remember that the best approach to withdrawal is to recognize that no matter how much you resist and struggle against the process, nothing will change other than that there will be a possible increase in your stress levels and resulting intensification of some symptoms. It makes sense to not resist the symptoms and to accept them as a necessary path to and part of your recovery journey.

 

You must keep reminding yourself that what is happening is normal and that like the many people before you, the symptoms will eventually disappear and you will recover. It just does not make sense to be constantly struggling against what is happening (your nervous system healing). It is unrealistic and it compounds matters, causing immense stress, which in turn can make the symptoms even more intense.

 

Accepting the presence of the symptoms doesn’t necessarily mean you are in a zen-like state, smiling happily and affirming that you are healing! It just means that you have realized there is nothing you can do but wait for the healing to be completed. And that no amount of resistance will change the fact that this is a “time” issue and that patience is key.

 

So, keep holding on… keep going… and be as accepting and as patient as you can be. One day this nightmare will be over and you will be able to move on. Keep ploughing ahead.

 

When people have recovered, they always say how content they are, how grateful they feel and how even the simplest things bring them joy. They also say that having been able to cope with withdrawal has made them profoundly appreciate how strong and courageous they are and that they can’t imagine anything in life ever having the ability to affect them as much as withdrawal did. Nothing will ever faze them. This has also been my experience.

 

I know it may be near-impossible for you to see any good coming out of your situation at this time, but one day you will feel differently. I don’t know what your gifts will be, but I do believe there will be some. I know that today, all you may be thinking about is coping with the symptoms and getting through the day, but this will change as you continue to heal. Remember, these symptoms are going to go one day, and go for good. You will be delighted that you have recovered, and you will say the same as those who made it to the other side.

 

I’ve always said I wouldn’t swap anything for the feelings of gratitude and the “preciousness” of life which I now enjoy. No matter how intense things are for you today, please trust that your time is coming. You will be able to sit back, reflect and smile gently to yourself when you think of all you have overcome and how strong you truly are.

 

While you wait, please never lose sight of the fact that everything that is happening now is leading you to recovery. All you have to do is hold on, allow the process to unfold, and take good care of yourself in the meantime. You are going to make it to the other side.

 

--Baylissa Frederick

Been off ativan 14 months yet I feel this horrible after that time, its like Im in month one week one.....its should be much better off by now, not feeling 10 times worse...the feelings I have now should be in the first few months! Doubt its still WD

Been off ativan 14 months yet I feel this horrible after that time, its like Im in month one week one.....its should be much better off by now, not feeling 10 times worse...the feelings I have now should be in the first few months! Doubt its still WD

 

Hi Mark.  Reading your post, and others I've read, that it may just be easier making the crossover to valium (as I'd read about online & in a very good book; now, however, still in this & doing worse) and then jumping off the valium.  But, by now, I'm in it for 8-1/2 months & am at about 1/8 mg. twice/daily. I'm not going to do a crossover now.  - Mark, I don't see your signature line (dose & taper-related information).  FYI only: it's in members' Control Panel, signature line; that's where it's added & saved & can be updated.  This way it appears in all posts made by that member, so others' will have better understanding in order to reply.

 

I've been in an active dry-cut ativan taper myself (pls. see signature line, if interested).  I'm curious, b/c I don't see your signature line, so have no idea how long you were on, dosages, cutting-over what length of time, etc.  You might have more responses if you had this information.  In case you're unaware how to, you go to your Control Panel and you'll see a line for "Signature" add the information there & submit. 

 

I didn't have a benzo-cooperative doctor.  The doctor who started me on the ativan (for pain control) informed me he wouldn't be writing any more rxs once his group practice was taken over by a larger group practice.  The only reason I didn't go into cold turkey is b/c he'd overprescribed, so I had surplus.  Now, it's getting low & I still don't feel ready to jump, but it does occur to me that it's possible, I may have to go through PAWS, too, so just do it.