Author Topic: Rant about if it's me being mentally ill or the DRUGS  (Read 2119 times)

[Buddie]

Re: Rant about if it's me being mentally ill or the DRUGS
« Reply #10 on: July 27, 2010, 01:16:31 am »
hi [...],

i think what is most important for you to focus on right now is a healthy taper for you and to realize you are going to have symptoms that will make you think you are a crazy, mentally ill person.  the fact that you had one panic attack indicates that you are probably NORMAL.  one panic attack does not a GAD make!   :pokey:

i also think some of your anxiety may actually decrease a bit as you taper because you're nervous about tapering to begin with.

please try to hold off on making any diagnosis for yourself until you are at least 6 months free and clear of these drugs.  if you stay the course on this, eventually your brain will readjust and you will find the balance you have been looking for.

leslie
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Rant about if it's me being mentally ill or the DRUGS
« Reply #11 on: July 30, 2010, 02:21:33 am »
Hi [...],

Personally, I think it's great that you are able to "see" your feelings so clearly in spite of some of the symptoms you are experiencing.  You are refusing to accept any labels put on you by someone else and that is truly a major step not only for your recovery but in shaping the course of the rest of your life.  You are drawing on that inner strength that is a part of all of us which usually begins with anger at our present situation.

I don't see your post as a rant as much as a legitimate expression of outrage which, under the circumstances could be long overdue.  Well done! :thumbsup:

All of us on this and other forums are on the same journey and I have every confidence that we will all get through it.

One of your fellow travellers,

[...]


Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Rant about if it's me being mentally ill or the DRUGS
« Reply #12 on: August 25, 2010, 12:15:56 am »
Hi everyone,

so my memory and thinking about things is so fast paced and anxious all the time I completely forgot I created this thread at the end of July...I just re read the whole thing and am so grateful for the replies it got.  So thanks to each of you for your thoughts and opinions.  I am..currently in the midst again of a down period of anxiety and depression covering my view of everything.  It arrived just in time for the new semester and as my complex relationship moved back into my house as a room mate.  So I feel pretty bad right now, and because of that it sends me into the thinking of "god, maybe the docs are right and I need to just get on the damn prozac, or lexapro or paxil or whatever the hell it is they keep shoving on me for my GAD and/or mood disorders."

  When all days feels mostly hopeless except for a window of "ok" here and there when I keep myself busy, it's hard to stay positive that's it's the benzos fault.  I've been nauseous since Sunday night on and off, but if it were Valium's fault why wasn't it affecting me all summer and prior?  I've had ups and downs during the summer but nothing as bad as my sick "anxiety/depressed" state that I fall into like i'm in now.  Like I was saying on the taper thread, it's almost like I have tolerance that is set off when 2 or more stressors occur at one time that affect me on some deeper psychological subconscious level.   Back when I was a teenager I didn't have this issue.  So perhaps, it IS still the benzos fault, but my tolerance to them only occurs when there's too much stress at one time??   If I am able to get off all benzos perhaps I will go back to being able to handle all the stress at once like I used to without doing anything but having a nice cry sometimes.  I used to enjoy my crying.  It felt good, it calmed me down.  Now crying is just like an apparent side effect of having bad anxiety and it revvs me up and I know it's going to be worse so I try not to cry. 

Right now my goal is to definitely try and not updose like what happened last year.  Last year at this time I ended up having to updose valium from 10 to 15 mg.   I don't want to go from 15 to 20 this year.  ugh.  I would trade for most bad things in the world to be free from this physiological and psychological distress!!!


thanks again everyone for your words, I completely forgot about this thread, I'd like to revive it with any other uplifting things that make me feel that i don't have a mood or anxiety disorder.

love,
~Kal
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Rant about if it's me being mentally ill or the DRUGS
« Reply #13 on: September 14, 2010, 09:24:15 am »
I can´t write any uplifting things, only I do know how horrible it feels to have a label. I was diagnosed with Emotional Instable Personality Disorder 25 years ago. Up until 10 years ago I didnt even want to KNOW what it was, I was so frightened, then I did start reading about it and the sad thing is I (and meanwhile all of my relatives) believe it. It is a like constantly carrying a heavy back pack on your shoulders. I do have emotional instability, and everytime I do, "wham" I go back to remembering "ah, yes, its your EIPD), which starts the whole cycle of suffering from a label, etc. etc. When I did a fast withdrawal from Benzo´s I had so called rage, which I read can be benzo rage, but when I tried to explain to my son it is from withdrawal he only said "I have always been like that" (not true) and it depresses me being stigmatized to top it all off. I wish I could erase this label out of my mind and the minds of all that know.

Elke
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.