Finding this hard to believe it could be a withdrawal symptom

Hello everyone,

 

I have posted about this before but it's really starting to bother me since it's my only symptom and it has been going on for 2 weeks.  It is very hard to describe but I will try my best.

 

About 2 weeks ago after I had this episode which felt like a seizure where my mind felt like it was being electrocuted and a bunch of thoughts kept coming into my mind (ruminations?) This was exactly 2 weeks after jumping.  The next day it felt like my mind was resetting or something every 10 seconds and I had to kept bring myself back to the present moment.  This really freaked me out.  The next day I had an MRI done with dye (unfortunately) because they wanted to check for a pituitary tumor (even before benzos).  Came back clear.  Later on that day I freaked out and ended up going to the hospital where the doctor baker acted me.  I spent 3 days in the psych ward where this symptom seemed to have disappeared or wasn't as bad.  When I got out last Sunday this symptom has gotten progressively worse. 

 

It's hard to describe but it feels as though my mind is going blank every 5-10 seconds.  I have to constantly keep bringing myself into the present moment.  It's like my mind is skipping and not picking up what my eyes are seeing. Kind of like I am doing half of the things with awareness and half on autopilot and this goes on all day long.  My mind is detaching.  I will be walking up the stares and have no awareness of it when I get to the top (like my mind is elsewhere)

 

My concern is that after that weird episode before it all started something in my brain was severely damaged.  I don't have DP/DR.  The only time it briefly goes away is when I am writing something or reading something. 

 

I know I am only off for a short amount of time but this doesn't seem like a typical withdrawal symptom.  This is currently my only symptom which scares me even more.  I am sleeping fine.

 

Does anyone have any idea what this could be?

You are very early into wd. This is understandably a very frightening sx but if you didn't have this before benzos and your mri is clear it is very likely withdrawal.

Thanks, Southern Star

 

It's just really concerning that I can't really find anyone else that can directly relate to this symptom.  If it was DP/DR, anxiety, depression or any of the other mental symptoms I could accept it and try and move on but it feels like I had a stroke.

You have not had a stroke I can hopefully reassure you of that, it would have shown up on the MRI. I had a stroke due to wd and it showed up on the MRI as they all do. BWD gives us sxs that are really scary and mimic all sorts of other conditions and alo mess up our thinking giving us irrational fears, due to the brain trying to find balance, if this is your only sx be thankful, just rest and don't push yourself, as i said, it's still very early days for you. Just hang in there, congratulations on being benzo free.

Hello everyone,

 

I have posted about this before but it's really starting to bother me since it's my only symptom and it has been going on for 2 weeks.  It is very hard to describe but I will try my best.

 

About 2 weeks ago after I had this episode which felt like a seizure where my mind felt like it was being electrocuted and a bunch of thoughts kept coming into my mind (ruminations?) This was exactly 2 weeks after jumping.  The next day it felt like my mind was resetting or something every 10 seconds and I had to kept bring myself back to the present moment.  This really freaked me out.  The next day I had an MRI done with dye (unfortunately) because they wanted to check for a pituitary tumor (even before benzos).  Came back clear.  Later on that day I freaked out and ended up going to the hospital where the doctor baker acted me.  I spent 3 days in the psych ward where this symptom seemed to have disappeared or wasn't as bad.  When I got out last Sunday this symptom has gotten progressively worse. 

 

It's hard to describe but it feels as though my mind is going blank every 5-10 seconds.  I have to constantly keep bringing myself into the present moment.  It's like my mind is skipping and not picking up what my eyes are seeing. Kind of like I am doing half of the things with awareness and half on autopilot and this goes on all day long.  My mind is detaching.  I will be walking up the stares and have no awareness of it when I get to the top (like my mind is elsewhere)

 

My concern is that after that weird episode before it all started something in my brain was severely damaged.  I don't have DP/DR.  The only time it briefly goes away is when I am writing something or reading something. 

 

I know I am only off for a short amount of time but this doesn't seem like a typical withdrawal symptom.  This is currently my only symptom which scares me even more.  I am sleeping fine.

 

Does anyone have any idea what this could be?

 

Hi Kornyboyo1917,

 

I noticed you mentioned that the only time this symptom goes away is when you're reading or writing something, this is a key observation.  What it tells me is that distraction helps, as distraction helped me when I was symptomatic, it's probably the best medicine I can prescribe for this process.  Try not to focus on your symptoms, I know, an impossible request, but distracting yourself from them is so important. 

 

If you've had the medical tests which rule out possible health issues, trust that this is another hideous withdrawal symptom and will go away as you heal.

 

Heretohelp

 

Thanks for all the help guys.  It started to lift as of 3 days ago so I know it's not permanent.  Withdrawal is very unpredictable.  In the future, I can reassure anyone who has this symptom!

Withdrawal creates Temporary, reversible symptoms.

 

See list below:

 

THESE ARE JUST SOME OF THE MANY REPORTED SIGNS AND SYMPTOMS INDICATING YOU OR SOMEONE YOU CARE ABOUT MAY BE HAVING PROBLEMS WITH A BENZODIAZEPINE PRESCRIPTION:

MENTAL/COGNITIVE/BEHAVIORAL SIGNS.  You may or may not experience these symptoms.

 

    Aggressive Behavior

    Agitation/Irritability/Short Tempered/Rage Outbursts

    Agoraphobia

    Anhedonia

    Anxiety/Panic/Terror Attacks/Development of Various Fears and Phobias

    Apathy

    Cognitive Impairment/Fog

    Confusion

    Crying

    Depression

    Depersonalization

    Derealization

    Dysphoria

    Emotional Lability

    Feeling numb or like a “zombie on autopilot”/Feeling over-sedated

    Hallucinations

    Hearing Voices

    Impaired Judgment

    Intrusive thoughts/Excessive negative thinking and feelings of doom

    Irrational Thoughts and Behavior

    Loss of Creativity

    Mania

    Memory & Concentration Issues

    Monophobia

    Mood Swings

    Neurocognitive problems

    Obsessive compulsive or other “odd” behavior

    Paranoia

    Personality Changes

    Reckless Behavior

    Self-Harming Thoughts and Behavior

    Stress Intolerance

    Suicidal Ideation

 

PHYSICAL SIGNS

 

    Adrenaline Rushes

    Akathisia/Restlessness

    Allergies & Sensitivities increasing or developing

    Appetite changes

    Aura

    Blood Pressure Issues, fluctuations

    Cardiac Symptoms – Bradycardia (slow heart rate), Tachycardia (rapid heart rate), Heart Palpitations, Pounding heart

    Clenching jaw, especially during sleep (TMJ)

    Chills

    Increased susceptibility to illness, stress on the immune system

    Diminished Motor Skills – Clumsiness, Coordination Problems, Difficulty walking, Dropping things, Falling down

    Dizziness/Vertigo/Balance Issues (General vestibular disturbances)

    Drooling

    Dysautonomia Symptoms

    Dysphagia (swallowing difficulty)

    Earache

    Exhaustion

    Fainting

    Fasciculations (benign)

    Fatigue/Lethargy/Weakness

    Flu-Like Symptoms

    Frequent Urination

    Gastrointestinal Symptoms

    Grinding Teeth / TMJ problms

    Hair Loss

    Headaches

    Hearing loss or changes

    Hormonal Issues

    Hyperacusis (sensitivity to sound frequency)

    Inner Vibrating or Buzzing

    Intolerance to cold and heat

    Itching/Skin Rashes/Hives

    Joint Pain (And other joint issues)

    Lightheaded

    Loss of Coordination

    Malaise

    Menstrual Issues

    Migraine with or without aura

    Motion sickness susceptibility

    Muscle Symptoms – Clenching, Cramping, Loss of muscle tone, Over-or under-active muscle reflexes, Pain, Spasms, Squeezing, Stiffness, Tension, Twitching

    Nerve Pain

    Paresthesia – Tingling, tickling, prickling, numbness, burning of skin

    Perceptual disturbance (feeling of being on a boat, feelings of unreality, deja vu, etc.)

    Peripheral Neuropathy

    Photophobia

    Phonophobia

    Respiratory – Shortness of breath, Can’t get deep breath, Labored breathing, Over-breathing

    Sensitivity to light and sound

    Sensitivity to smells, including naturally occurring smells or chemicals such as fragrance

    Sensitivity to temperature, weather and pressure changes

    Shaking/Rigors/Tremors

    Sleep Issues – Excessive sleeping, Insomnia, Myoclonic jerks, Sleep paralysis, No dreaming, Vivid dreaming, Nightmares

    Slurred Speech

    Sweats

    Tachycardia between doses or in the morning, or generalized

    Tight Throat/Ball-in-throat sensation

    Tinnitus (Ringing or pulsatile effects in ears)

    Tremors

    Vision Issues – blurred vision, seeing spots, grainy visions, after-images, sensitivities

    Weight Loss

    Withdrawal symptoms that will intensify between doses or near dosing times

 

Source:  w-bad.org

I understand. Its as if your life is a film roll and somebody edited the film roll and took one frame out of the film roll and your perception skips ahead without you noticing that moment passing by. It is benzo wd and will pass sooner rather then later. Good luck!

Hi Windwalker,

 

Yes, that is exactly how it was.  I haven't had it the past couple of days so that's a good sign.  Unfortunately, I have been hit with the fear today where it feels like I have been chased by a bear.

I understand your fear issue. Fear was my worst symptom most the time. It peaked in the dark of night. I had fear where I thought I was going to die any second then be doomed to hell and there was nothing I could do about it. I also had fearful hallucinations at night of evil creatures. It was immediate fear that came out of no where. Terror is a much better word to describe it. It was a nightmare. My fear has passed as will yours. I was also on Kpin and ativan at much higher doses then you. So hopefully your nightmare will pass faster then mine has. Good luck!