(*NOTE: Not benzo-related) STILL THE SAME! THERE IS NO HOPE

1mg of Ativan 13 motnhs off and some nights I sleep and feel tired, past 3 days I sleep 6-7 hours and wake up feeling drugged and light headed like I got NONE! Maybe I didnt maybe I was half awke because way I been feeling past 3 days is AWFUL!

 

Really 13 months off a Measly 1mg of ativan and it feels like day 1 for me

 

There is Hope for Some (That God actually gives a shit about) and People like Me that He would rather have as entertainment Suffering Purposes

 

Hope for your sakes God Loves you all, only way you'll get thru it, He pisses on me at every turn

 

 

Edit: Modified misleading title because member’s insomnia is *not* related to benzos

Here is the way I look at it, all of us on this forum are going thru hell and im sure that some are going thru more than others. I cant speak to why that is.

 

But in the grand scheme of things, for the most part, there are people in the world that have had it much worse. Now we are actually faced with a hard journey and some of us (me)  are not used to dealing with difficulty outside our daily routine and our normal lives.  This sucks. never thought I would be dealing with this.

 

I have a friend that came over the other day and we talked about his kid that was born with downs syndrome and then had leukemia.  Now that is a hard life.

 

 

I am not diminishing your suffering but I dont think God has singled you out. He made you in his image and I'm sure that you fit into his plan as we all do - dont know what that plan is but I have been trying to learn more about God's plan and be prepared for whatever happens.

 

I'm sorry you are having such a hard time and I hope you heal soon.  I'm trying not give up. Hope you dont either.

only other thing I can think I have is CFS: Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Supposidly I sleep but feel horrible anyways all the time some days much worse then others.....

 

And if I have that sadly there is no cure, but what else is new for me

Mark - did you have insomnia before the Benzo? If so the Benzo Withdrawal or using benzos wouldn’t have cured the underlying sleep problem.

yep had it before, so I figured it would not fix the issue, Ill have this shit till I die, yet people like Aloha and the Defunct TheWay said I would heal, Figured I wouldnt

Correct.  If someone has acne which they cover with foundation cream for a while, and then stop using the foundation, what should they expect to see?

 

Benzos don't cure anything and, although I absolutely am very sorry you're having this longstanding sleep issue, I also happen to think it's very wrong when members go about misrepresenting the truth.  You're misleading your peers which is why others may have given you inaccurate advice.  Plus, you're also possibly scaring a lot of newbies needlessly when, in actuality, by the looks of things you escaped the withdrawal with barely a scratch.  It appears God does love you after all.

 

 

 

Well 5 days ago I was up 40 hours, then I slept 8....Next 2 nights somehow I slept 6 hours each, the next night I couldnt sleep and was up about 40 hours yet again, last night I got maybe 5 hours of sleep......I been off My Ativan Fully for 2 weeks now, is this on and off random sleeping and staying awake forever signs that maybe my brain is trying to heal itself?

 

I just kinda need to know, I think the poor sleep is probably from the ativan tolerance but the whole reason I got on the stuff 2 years ago was because I had a hard time getting to sleep, so for the getting to sleep part I don't know if thats withdrawl or not because that was the whole reason I got on the stuff in the first place

 

Also Can Poor sleep day after day after day start a very bad cycle where your more anxious and keep sleeping poor night after night or no sleep at all? BEcause basically your so over tired and it rams up the anxiousness? Until at least you finally have 1 good sleep to reset yourself?

If insomnia is the only issue and you had before - god for sure loves you. 

yep had it before, so I figured it would not fix the issue, Ill have this shit till I die, yet people like Aloha and the Defunct TheWay said I would heal, Figured I wouldnt

 

I was hoping that a little positive thinking would help get you through this and maybe even rewire your brain a bit to aid in healing, but I guess that you are not receptive to it. Can't help you buddy. Can only feel bad for you.

Mark,

 

Don’t forget to tell everyone that you have an awful cough and you took NyQuil for a long time. This is a very discouraging post for people that don’t know the whole story.

Well Guess What I am TRULY DYING NOW! I Probably do Have SFI becauzse now past 3 days while you think I sleep I Dont the tiredness over the past 3 days has accumulated so much its not funny, feel fatigued and dizzy, even when you think I sleep! If this keeps Up Ill be dead really soon

 

Also past 3 days with the horrible sleeps I been VERY ANGRY

Mark, you sure are taking a long time to die. Kind of like when I was a kid playing cops and robbers and pretended to get shot. I acted pretty melodramatic myself.

Mark - you need to get to the root of your insomnia, insomnia mostly presents as symptom of something larger not as a primary condintion. The condition could be something like anxiety or depression or something else. If you had insomnia prior to the Benzo you will still have it now. Withdrawal will not cure it.  You will not die from insomnia although it might feel really bad. The body will sleep. You took Ativan for insomnia and now you’re not taking it so of course it will come back

first off aloha Salberry is right, Insomnia STAYS if it was pre benzo like me so all yoru talk of WD and cures is FALSE! THere is no WD, Im back to pre benzo Insomnia

 

Secondly I been off ativan 13 long months, why now is it so bad I cannot take it anymore! I always have bad sleeps but why now 13 long months  out is it the worst its ever been?!

 

Makes no sense

Mark, you sure are taking a long time to die. Kind of like when I was a kid playing cops and robbers and pretended to get shot. I acted pretty melodramatic myself.

 

Wanna know why Im suffering and taking a long time to die Aloha?! Read My Sig, that Sig Explains it all...If God Hates you hes gunna make you suffer all to hell! Plain and simple logic

 

Your Better are you not?! Then God Really ******* Must LOVE YOU! Count yourself lucky...look at all these people that suffer forever with cancers or other diseases, this is obviously my long drawn out death scentince

 

Edit: Profanity removed

It is true that Benzos do NOT cure any preexisting condition.  They are a band aid at best for all conditions.

 

However, going through withdrawal and healing helps some people deal with their preexisting conditions.

 

I had insomnia before Benzos and now I don't worry about sleep anymore.  I get at least 7 hours pretty much every single night.  My off nights of 3, 4 or 5 hours of sleep are down to one every two or three months!  2 years ago, I used to get 2 or 3 a week!

 

Did healing from Benzos cure my insomnia....ABSOLUTELY NOT!

 

Did I learn how to stop caring if I slept or not and that went a long way toward getting my sleep back?  ABSOLUTELY.

 

Did I learn other coping and distraction skills...YES

 

Did I learn I don't have SFI and lack of sleep will not kill me...YES

 

Am I on a keto diet that not only helps with weight, but provides lots of energy and good sleep...YES

 

Do I show gratitude and thankfulness for each day...YES

 

Am I positive almost all of the time...YES

 

It is true that Benzos do NOT cure any preexisting condition.  They are a band aid at best for all conditions.

 

However, going through withdrawal and healing helps some people deal with their preexisting conditions.

 

I had insomnia before Benzos and now I don't worry about sleep anymore.  I get at least 7 hours pretty much every single night.  My off nights of 3, 4 or 5 hours of sleep are down to one every two or three months!  2 years ago, I used to get 2 or 3 a week!

 

Did healing from Benzos cure my insomnia....ABSOLUTELY NOT!

 

Did I learn how to stop caring if I slept or not and that went a long way toward getting my sleep back?  ABSOLUTELY.

 

Did I learn other coping and distraction skills...YES

 

Did I learn I don't have SFI and lack of sleep will not kill me...YES

 

Am I on a keto diet that not only helps with weight, but provides lots of energy and good sleep...YES

 

Do I show gratitude and thankfulness for each day...YES

 

Am I positive almost all of the time...YES

 

your back? thought you quit

Mark, you sure are taking a long time to die. Kind of like when I was a kid playing cops and robbers and pretended to get shot. I acted pretty melodramatic myself.

 

Wanna know why Im suffering and taking a long time to die Aloha?! Read My Sig, that Sig Explains it all...If God Hates you hes gunna make you suffer all to hell! Plain and simple logic

 

Your Better are you not?! Then God Really ******* Must LOVE YOU! Count yourself lucky...look at all these people that suffer forever with cancers or other diseases, this is obviously my long drawn out death scentince

 

In violation of forum rules against profanity. I hope that the moderator is monitoring.

 

 

Edit: profanity removed

Mark, you sure are taking a long time to die. Kind of like when I was a kid playing cops and robbers and pretended to get shot. I acted pretty melodramatic myself.

 

Wanna know why Im suffering and taking a long time to die Aloha?! Read My Sig, that Sig Explains it all...If God Hates you hes gunna make you suffer all to hell! Plain and simple logic

 

Your Better are you not?! Then God Really ******* Must LOVE YOU! Count yourself lucky...look at all these people that suffer forever with cancers or other diseases, this is obviously my long drawn out death scentince

 

In violation of forum rules against profanity. I hope that the moderator is monitoring.

 

whoop de freakin doo, if I get banned Ill just make a new account..so what

 

Edit: Profanity removed

It is true that Benzos do NOT cure any preexisting condition.  They are a band aid at best for all conditions.

 

However, going through withdrawal and healing helps some people deal with their preexisting conditions.

 

I had insomnia before Benzos and now I don't worry about sleep anymore.  I get at least 7 hours pretty much every single night.  My off nights of 3, 4 or 5 hours of sleep are down to one every two or three months!  2 years ago, I used to get 2 or 3 a week!

 

Did healing from Benzos cure my insomnia....ABSOLUTELY NOT!

 

Did I learn how to stop caring if I slept or not and that went a long way toward getting my sleep back?  ABSOLUTELY.

 

Did I learn other coping and distraction skills...YES

 

Did I learn I don't have SFI and lack of sleep will not kill me...YES

 

Am I on a keto diet that not only helps with weight, but provides lots of energy and good sleep...YES

 

Do I show gratitude and thankfulness for each day...YES

 

Am I positive almost all of the time...YES

 

glad you came back

Mark, you sure are taking a long time to die. Kind of like when I was a kid playing cops and robbers and pretended to get shot. I acted pretty melodramatic myself.

 

This is a pretty ******* retarded post. The man is in the forks of hell and you compare it to your childish game? I had troubles falling asleep before but benzos raised everything to a different level of insanity. You really feel like you're dying. If you think you provide any support with this dismissive attitude, you're wrong. Learn from ThEwAy.

Welcome back ThEwAy!

Mark,

Take a deep breath and calm down. Hyperventilating doesn't stop you from dying. Actually nothing does if it's in the books for you ... or for me, or for anybody. If you believe it is God's will, you should accept it. You don't have a choice. But while you're alive, you have to act as if you want to live. Anger and fear will only exhaust you more. As ThEwAy said, learn to ignore it in small steps. Acceptance is the key. Better learn to live with insomnia than to die from it.

 

 

Edit: profanity removed

For anyone not aware of the history at play here, pls dont jump to conclusions too fast...

Thats all...

 

Mark M, reads to me like you are suffering much.  I hope you get a break soon.

OK everyone, please stop the bickering, profanity and other nonsense now.

 

For anyone not aware of the history at play here, pls dont jump to conclusions too fast...

Thats all...

 

As Cantfly mentioned, there is far more to this thread than meets the eye, so please don’t all start taking sides when you only have part of the story.

 

Mark, you have already stated that you had terrible insomnia before you ever took Ativan, so please stop initiating threads that scare folks into believing they’ll never heal. No one on BB ever told you that stopping benzos would cure your pre-existing conditions, so kindly stop running around in circles on this.

 

While everyone here understands that you are suffering, BenzoBuddies is not set up to help you with either the Sporadic Fatal Insomnia that you claim to have, or Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, when they’re unrelated to your benzo experiences.

 

If you start another scary thread like this in the benzo support areas, it will be moved to somewhere for off-topic discussions, if appropriate.

 

If you feel that God in fact does not care about you, then perhaps you can have an honest discussion about it on the Faith Board (and that is not meant to be a joke). However, that proclamation does not belong in your signature.

 

Please update your sig to include your actual benzo history – and I would strongly suggest that you specify that your insomnia, SFI and CFS, as well as the sinus disease, all pre-date your Ativan experience, so that folks understand the exact context of your complaints before they reply.

 

Thank you.

Mark,

 

Please be positive and try to stop thinking or saying "I can't believe that I will sleep again."

Cynicism and skepticism have filled our lives.  We need to get out of the habit of questioning and doubting the possibility of things...

It's not whether God will help, but whether we believe it will happen

Focus on those that recovered and got their sleep back

No one can keep you in your current situation, except you!

Understand the root word of responsibility is response.  You may not be able to control anything happening to you from withdrawal, but you can control your RESPONSE to it.

In your response, lies true healing and recovery!

No one can keep you down, but you!

You are not a victim, you CAN get past this by dealing with your thoughts, actions and reactions.

You WILL overcome and get some livable sleep back, it may not be perfect or the amount you want and it might not be "refreshing" at first, but it can come back to the point where you can enjoy life again. 

Ask yourself (and be honest) what you are doing to improve your personal health and lifestyle?

Are there things you can do that would help your overall health and promote your sleep?

Please don't look to more drugs as the solution.  You are not sleeping how you would like to from lack of a Benzo in your body.

I wondered if anyone literally could die from insomnia.  According to this article, this horrible condition can be diagnosed by sleep study results and PET scan results.

 

https://rarediseases.info.nih.gov/diseases/6429/fatal-familial-insomnia