Just a quick message of hope

I am 13 months recovered from a short term ativan usage.  I have seemingly recovered but will always remember what that little pill did to me.  It's unbelievable the power of these drugs.  I had no idea.  I was a 4 year recovered alcoholic.  This may be why my body down regulated so quickly?  Just a guess, but after 4 weeks, I was having issues.  I did taper fairly quickly but if I had to do it over, I would have taken a little more time.  The first week off was not so bad.  The second week is when it all hit me.  Same as the taper but stronger.  This continued for about a month or two.  Then, slowly I noticed the symptoms were bad for a week and not so bad for a week.  This continued through the month 3 with widening gaps.  Almost like clockwork oddly.  By the end of the 4th month, I felt somewhat normal.  Not perfect but so much better.  I considered myself healed at 12 months.  I feel better than before I started taking these pills because of what I have been through.  I know I can cope with some pretty serious panic attacks without any drugs.  I haven't had any lately but know it is always a possibility.  I look at myself as thankful.  I, like so many, have made it through with help from this site.  No one else helped, that's for sure.  I try and visit the site regularly as I would like to give hope to those going through this.  I read people's post about how terrible they feel and the fear they are experiencing.  I get it!!  I think we all here understand that horrible feeling but I think this is just a normal part of the healing process.  Hang On.  It will get better.  There is no other options but to just get through it.  Minute by minute sometimes.  I remember writing my first post.  I couldn't spell.  I am an executive with a college education and I couldn't type a post without looking up how to spell simple words.  I get it.  But I want to share how I feel right now with those hurting so desperately.  It gets better.  I feel normal again.  It's just the withdrawal symptoms making you feel that way.  Please hang on one more day.

who knew - Thanks for the optimistic post.  Interesting your windows/waves were week to week like clockwork.  Four months seems so do-able.  Funny how perspective on time-line for healing changes as we go along.  But just to know it does end eventually...

 

Thanks for coming back to give us hope. 

Hey. I am nearing 10 months off Klonopin. I have not had the benefits of experiencing long windows through this experience, just a few short ones here or there.

 

Can I ask if you suffered depression and intrusive thoughts because of your benzo use? They are my worst symptom and never seem to improve.

I worried the depression would last forever. Just part of the process. I think everyone feels that way during this journey. I feel very optimistic now. The chemical dread is gone. I still look around the corner sometimes thinking it might come back but not yet. I try and enjoy every day I don’t feel that way again and keep my stress levels low. It’s just life.

Thank you for this post.

I am in my 11th month and honestly feeling WAY better than I did, say, 6 months ago.  I know I've made huge improvements.

Can you describe how you felt toward the "end"?  Did you wonder "is this as good as I'll get?"

Also, did you get HORRIBLE fatigue where you felt like you would just fall over if you didn't lie down?

(I happen to be experiencing this today for only the 2nd time through this whole journey - but it's BAD - like I can barely keep my eyes open)

I don't get on this forum much anymore but had to get on today because of this symptom.

Did the "obsession" of thinking about your symptoms just slowly fade more and more week by week?

 

Things for me that haven't come back yet:

1.  Ability to nap

2.  Watching tv shows I used to love like Forensic Files/48 hours, etc.

3.  Social Media - I get anxious when I open Facebook or try to check my e-mails and I don't know why

 

Did you have any of those symptoms?

 

Thanks SO MUCH for coming back and sharing.  On really good days I can actually see myself writing a success story some day not so far away (like maybe in 2 or 3 months).  But right now it's hard to even log on because it's still triggering a little - which is why I just come straight to success stories to see if anyone else posted one.  I was so grateful to see yours today.  I am also a short term user (about 2 months - for insomnia).

 

HUGS

Hard to say when I felt normal again.  It's kinda like when you hurt your ribs.  It hurts like crazy for months and then all of a sudden you just notice it's gone.  You don't remember the day, but it's not hurting anymore.  I try to deal with one day at a time and try to look for things to be thankful for.  I learned this in AA and it is a good coping mechanism.  I think the thing to get from the boards is that things will get better in time.  It is a comfort to know.  That's why I come back occasionally because I had a hard time believing it when I was going through the symptoms.

Thanks for sharing your story whoknew and congratulations on your success.

I am tapering slower now and it's gotten hard but I do think it will get better.

who knew - I've just begun the road to healing and know I have a way to go, but even at this point can look back and see lots of progress.  Like anything else with healing, there are no cut and dried markers.  Just a slow and steady improvement.

 

boombox - sorry to hear you're still suffering with those two symptoms so far out.  Guess we never know when things will get better.  Only know they will eventually.  While some sx seem to be healing, some are riding the wave in and out, and others just keep tenaciously hanging on.  But you just hang on tighter, my friend.

 

Congrats and thanks for writing your success story.  Hopefully things will just keep betting better for you from here on out.  I'm still 3.5 months out from low dose fast taper from Clonopin and going through a tough time.  But your story makes me think it will get better.

Thank you for sharing.  It feels good to be healing.  Not sure if I am all the way there (today I'm feeling flu like symptoms and still confused as to whether I am actually sick or it's benzo related) but I feel WAY better than during my taper.

 

xo

 

WW

I am 13 months recovered from a short term ativan usage.  I have seemingly recovered but will always remember what that little pill did to me.  It's unbelievable the power of these drugs.  I had no idea.  I was a 4 year recovered alcoholic.  This may be why my body down regulated so quickly?  Just a guess, but after 4 weeks, I was having issues.  I did taper fairly quickly but if I had to do it over, I would have taken a little more time.  The first week off was not so bad.  The second week is when it all hit me.  Same as the taper but stronger.  This continued for about a month or two.  Then, slowly I noticed the symptoms were bad for a week and not so bad for a week.  This continued through the month 3 with widening gaps.  Almost like clockwork oddly.  By the end of the 4th month, I felt somewhat normal.  Not perfect but so much better.  I considered myself healed at 12 months.  I feel better than before I started taking these pills because of what I have been through.  I know I can cope with some pretty serious panic attacks without any drugs.  I haven't had any lately but know it is always a possibility.  I look at myself as thankful.  I, like so many, have made it through with help from this site.  No one else helped, that's for sure.  I try and visit the site regularly as I would like to give hope to those going through this.  I read people's post about how terrible they feel and the fear they are experiencing.  I get it!!  I think we all here understand that horrible feeling but I think this is just a normal part of the healing process.  Hang On.  It will get better.  There is no other options but to just get through it.  Minute by minute sometimes.  I remember writing my first post.  I couldn't spell.  I am an executive with a college education and I couldn't type a post without looking up how to spell simple words.  I get it.  But I want to share how I feel right now with those hurting so desperately.  It gets better.  I feel normal again.  It's just the withdrawal symptoms making you feel that way.  Please hang on one more day.

 

Thank you for sharing your healing. How are you feeling now?