Summermeadow's Freedom from 5mg of Klonopin

Hello Buddies,

 

It’s been nearly 6 years Benzo Free and I am more certain than ever that I am going to get well. I am 59 years old, married with no children. I am hopeful and full of life. I still have windows and waves.  I travel with my husband, my marriage is stronger than it’s ever been, I am healthier than I’ve been in years, and I have more non- drug ways to manage PTSD and Anxiety than I could have ever dreamed. It’s been a magical journey of discovery and hope. How did I get so lucky to be on this journey? And to be on this journey with all of you?

 

I went to see a Psychiatrist in 2004 for help with some life issues, anxiety and PTSD after I had been seeing therapists and social workers for many years before.  I had been taking benzodiazepines, anti-depressants, beta blockers, drinking alcohol, etc. for a long time to help manage anxiety and PTSD. I also had an eating disorder in the past. I was prescribed Klonopin by him after trying several other psychiatric drugs, and at first it was a big relief. (Which I had taken throughout the years in smaller doses for motion sickness, sleep, menstral cramps etc.) I did not have to work too hard to keep my anxiety under control once the dose got high enough. Once the original issues had been resolved, I asked my psychiatrist about quitting Klonopin or tapering free after 3 years seeing him. He said he "I would not recommend it at this time". I asked again at year 4 and he gave me the same reply. At year 5 we discussed why I was feeling so tired and my health was deteriorating and he said it was due to the stress in my life. So I said I wanted to take a break to see if that helps me feel better. Again, he said, "I would not recommend it at this time." I wanted to get free from psychiatric drugs and he was unable to help me. So, I left him and I started on this path to recovery. I had taken 5mgs of Klonopin (equivalent to 100mg of Valium) for 5 years, and 3mgs of Lunsesta for 2 of the 5 years.

 

That evening, I searched the internet for information about Klonopin and was shocked at what I learned. I had no idea I could be dependent upon Klonopin. I kept searching the Internet and buying books on the subject. Through my research, I came up with a plan to slow taper. (I found,” Your Drug May Be Your Problem” by Peter Breggin MD,” Benzo Wise” by Baylisa Fredrick-now Baylissa.com and the updated book named “Recovery and Renewal”, “The Benzo Book”, uk.org, The Ashton Manual, BenzoBuddies, “Anatomy of an Epidemic”, “The Accidental Addict” etc.) I then went to my internist (family doctor) and a different psychiatrist and asked if they would support me in getting off of Klonopin.  I ended up working with my Internist.  It took several visits for him to say “yes” to support me tapering from Klonopin. He knew it was a risk to work with someone on such a high dose. I knew that too. He has been there for me during the entire 4 years of tapering and beyond. He is a kind and compassionate doctor.  He is so happy I am Benzo Free! I am Benzo Free! It’s Benzo long since I’ve been Benzo Free. Side Effects may include happy feelings & positive thought along with an impulse to giggle for no reason. WARNING: May be contagious.

 

I had been tapering for 10 months before I joined BenzoBuddies. I was looking for support and to be supportive. I had found the road to be very lonely. I had the support of my family, friends, husband, physical therapist, Ph.D. therapist, etc.  Yet, there is nothing more satisfying than being among those that are going through or have been through the same thing, supporting each other. BenzoBuddies continues to be a big part of my recovery, along with some other groups I’ve had the pleasure to be a part of.

 

My symptoms were very severe. Yours may not be as intense and may not take as long to recover from. I had delusions, hallucinations, I was catatonic for 4 months, home bound, and bed bound for a long time. I also had spiritual battles and spiritual awakenings.  I made it through this journey learning and growing all along the way. I don’t say this to impress you, I say this to impress upon you that you are strong enough to persevere this challenge and any other challenge that may come your way.  I’ve made many new friends and you are among them. I hope you find calm in your day!

 

Love,

Summer

 

I'm so HAPPY you wrote this!!! I remember when we werent so well back in the day. The words "We werent so well" is a understatement but why scare people. I was a total mess as were you. And here we both are writing success stories. Who would of ever thought that would happen? Not me for dam sure if you asked me at our low point.

 

You gave me a lot of  support and laughs during my journey to recovery....and i cant ever thank you enough for your support and kindness to me. It gives me great joy to read your Success Story....your deserve the best in life. You've earned it!! Your a total Warrior!!

 

 

 

 

Hi KRock,

 

I agree! Who knew we would be writing Success Stories. Those were some difficult challenging days. You made me laugh too. You were so funny. We were over the rainbow getting well from Benzos.

 

 

I remember you joking about being on a cardboard surfboard. I laughed so hard. It was great to be on this journey with you. I can't ever thank you enough either for being there for me. I liked keeping track of how you were doing. You've done so well. And I am proud of you, I appreciate you and I wish you only the best.

 

 

Love,

 

Summer

 

 

Thank you for your inspiring success story.  It really helps me to keep fighting!

 

If you don't mind would you provide some of your coping skills for anxiety?

Thanks so much for sharing your story!  Congratulations to you!

summer, thank you for writing your success story , So much appreciated for those of us still in the trenches!

 

Well done! Have a happy med free life! 

MiYu

Thank you Summermeadow for posting this story.  It's really uplifting and I'm happy you are doing so well!

Congratulations!

I am confused.  You are six years free, have windows and waves and are just having a good feeling that you are gonna get well someday?  I am trying to read where you are healed.  My benzo brain is real bad.....could you explain for me?

Hello Buddies,

 

It's so nice hearing from all of you Kornyboyo1917, Seltsever, MiYu, Look2Soul, HI1989. Thank you so much for congratulating me. It's been a long road filled with lots of learning. I am so happy to see so many of you moving forward so well. I know it isn't easy.

 

Kornyboyo1917, some of my anxiety coping skills are about coloring, listening to relaxation CDs, meditation and visualization, exercise and taking time to rest.

 

HI1989, I am far enough along to know I am going to be well. I am hopeful and my windows are really filled with happy and healthy times. I use to be bed ridden and home bound, now I travel and do lots of natural health habits that have improved my health dramatically. I know it can be confusing to have someone write that they are still having windows and waves and write a Success Story. You just have to be far enough along to be hopeful and know you are going to be well again.

 

I wish you all the best in your journey and wish you lots of learning and some fun times too.

 

Love,

Summer

I am hopeful and full of life. I still have windows and waves.  I travel with my husband, my marriage is stronger than it’s ever been, I am healthier than I’ve been in years, and I have more non- drug ways to manage PTSD and Anxiety than I could have ever dreamed. It’s been a magical journey of discovery and hope. How did I get so lucky to be on this journey?

 

What a magical story! Summermeadow, all I see here is incredible healing, hope, beauty and strength. What a success and inspiration you are...

 

HUGE congratulations and respect to you. I wish you continued deep healing...and many more years of adventures and love. I think you sense it - you're going to be on a whole new level even you can't imagine after all of this is over... Just beautiful. Many thanks.

 

Love,

Lara

Hey Summer!

 

I am so glad to read your success story! How inspirational! What a warrior and true survivor...

 

Thanks for sharing...wishing you full healing 

 

 

Summermeadow,

 

Congratulations on your long journey to recovery.    I am 5 years out too now, and am 60.  You very accurately described the giddiness, joy and happiness that awaits all the Buddies when they get to the other side.  I came back after healing trying just to get that point across to all our suffering Buddies.  Life is soooo sweet when this nightmare is over.  It's so difficult to believe when folks are so miserable, but it's the truth.  Thanks for sharing and have a wonderful new beginning.

Side Effects may include happy feelings & positive thought along with an impulse to giggle for no reason. WARNING: May be contagious.

 

 

 

((((Summer))))

 

I just love what you wrote! 

 

Summer, I know how tough things were for you for such a long time. You deserve to laugh, giggle and fill your day with positive thoughts. Your journey wasn't easy but you did it!! 

 

Thanks so much for stopping here and leaving this message of hope. You are so close to being totally free of all the effects of benzo withdrawal.

 

Your life seems full, keep filling it with the things that make you happy and content.  I wish you all the best in your new benzo free life.

 

PG  :smitten:

 

 

Summer thanks for sharing your journey. I found it very uplifting and it has given me more hope. We all need that in here.

 

Hi Buddies,

 

It is heartwarming to hear from all of you. Rubylove, Bella Amis, McIlm, Pianogirl, and Nitengale. You are my inspiration to keep going as well. There is so much to do to repair, rebuild and have fun along the way.

 

I am so happy all of you are making it one day at a time through all of this. Keep looking for the calm in your day or even the fun and learning in your day.

 

Rubylove (Lara): you have an amazing way with words. You are so creative. Thanks for the congratulations and encouragememt.

 

Bella Amis: Thanks for saying I'm a warrior and survivor. And for wishing me full recovery. I really appreciate it. It means a lot to me.  What a Success Story you wrote. Way to go! And thanks for all you do on the BenzoBuddie Team. It means a lot to me and others as well. I know, because I was on the Team too in the past. Thanks again.

 

McILm: How nice of you to come back to BB to let others know they will get well and to keep going. You are an inspiration and to be commended for taking the time to help. Make sure you take time to exercise and take care of yourself too, as you help others.

 

Pianogirl: Wow! There's no one like you! You are the best. Thanks for still being here at BB. I know how hard and rewarding it is. Thanks for all you do and all of who you are. I'm happy you liked the humor. Thanks for such a fun and thoughtful reply. Giggle for no reason.

 

Nightengale: What kindness to say how uplifting my Success Story was. I was going for that. It can be a uplifting and full of hope along the way. You are helping all of us too.

 

Thanks to all of you for lifting my day and being a part of my journey. I love all of you and wish you only the best.

 

Quote: "Be patient and tough; some day this pain will be useful to you" by Ovid

 

I hope you find some calm in your day,

 

Love,

Summer

 

 

Bump...

Thanks for bumping this Morreweg, and Summer, it was such a joy and relief to see you pop into the forum to help someone in need.  You were here and when I was way back when and I always respected your struggle, you stamina and your determination to be free from your pain. 

 

I'm so happy to read your success story, you're a wonderful person who deserves the best life has to offer and I have no doubt you're living it to the fullest.

 

Pamster 

Following.

 

Summer, your attitude and strength are an inspiration to me. I wish you all the beauty and magic that life can hold. (I do picture you dancing in a meadow somewhere!)

 

Love & gratitude,

Wildflower

 

(I commented as 'Rubylove' before. Just wanted to keep track of any updates.)

 

 

Fantastic!  So happy for you Summer!

It has been many years for us but we didnt give up!  I remember many hours in the old live chat group that BB once had years ago.  This forum saved so many of us that were extremely sick at that time.  Im glad that you came back and wrote how you are doing so much better.  This mean so much to those that are long term protracted.  <3

So happy for You!

Congratulations, Summermeadow!  I loved reading your wonderful story and will read it again and again.  You are an inspiration.  Best of luck in the years ahead.

Flibberty