Why is my Depression Getting Worse?

I am now nine months off Klonopin. I feel like my depression is literally getting worse. I thought I was improving slowly through the fall but the past two weeks have been absolutely brutal. Why is this happening?

Many forms of healing, and particularly from benzodiazepines, are non-linear.

Thanks, Mon. I appreciate you replying to my posts. Right now, it feels like I'm back in the beginning of the process, which started in June when I went into a bad wave of depression.

 

It seems like trying the ginkgo protocol was a bad idea. I'm guessing I set myself back.

No problem bbb21, I know. I know that it’s fruatrating. It’s good that you do post, and I know it’s very scary and is disconcerting to feel like you have “reset.” The thing is, we don’t really know that a wave is a bad thing. It is possible something got changed a bit from the ginkgo, but just because it feels worse doesn’t even necessarily mean it’s a bad thing.

 

Nine months sounds like a lot, but for bzd withdrawal it really isn’t too long. You never know, you could be feeling all healed in a month or even three months.

 

If you feel like it is too much, taking time off may be something to consider. You seem like you are really efforting to hang in there continuing with work and all the regular responsibilities. I wouldn’t fault you if you needed time to recover and I know no one else would. Your wife may not like it, and I wouldn’t blame her for that, but if you feel like you are at your breaking point and can’t handle much more then maybe it is an option that wouldn’t turn out to be such a bad one. I don’t know, I am so sorry though that you are going through all of this.

 

Keep in mind, when you see a protracted member (like myself) that does not seal your fate. And many of us are not suffering the way we did in our early days. For me it is a lingering exhaustion, but I’m not in a constant tormented agony. It’s depressing that I’m not physically strong/well enough yet... but I feel that will even eventually turn around for me. So, I belive it really is the case that most do not become protracted... if it were there would be a much bigger push-back for the “swept under the rug” feeling I think most of us have. I don’t know if any of that is even helpful to hear, but you are still on the early side in terms of time.

Thanks, Mon. You said your mental torment disappeared. What was your mental torment like? How long did it take to disappear?