I CANT DO THIS!!!

I accidentally rapid tapered myself from 1mg K to .25 in a month, not knowing what was doing. I've reinstated and am still healing...

Everything I read is so discouraging!!

I don't understand how to cut the pills, how much to cut or for how long to hold

Liquid taper seems even more confusing to me...

All I can see is losing my job, trying to get ssdi and being housebound for years!

If I lose my insurance my psydoc said she will no longer see me.

I already still live with my mom, don't drive due to anxiety (even on the K) only have a part-time job because I'm useless and I'm 34...

I know I can't stay on it, but don't know how to get off of it either.

I most likely already messed stuff up with the rapid taper.

My bf is at his wits end and I think he wants to leave me.

I feel like it would just be nice to lie down in the snow and "fall asleep"

In another post you said you were feeling a bit better and were sleeping again after reinstating.

 

Stay on that dose for now.

 

It might take a few months to stabile but it is best not to try totaper again until your nervous system has recovered from the shock.

 

Once you are stable you can taper VERY slowly and hopefully you won’t have any significant problems if you taper based on what your body can handle.

 

It is not a race. You need to go as slowly as your body needs to.

 

I wish a I had known this.

 

The worst thing to do is to even think about tapering again atm from an unstable position.

 

One step at a time.

 

 

In another post you said you were feeling a bit better and were sleeping again after reinstating.

 

Stay on that dose for now.

 

It might take a few months to stabile but it is best not to try totaper again until your nervous system has recovered from the shock.

 

Once you are stable you can taper VERY slowly and hopefully you won’t have any significant problems if you taper based on what your body can handle.

 

It is not a race. You need to go as slowly as your body needs to.

 

I wish a I had known this.

 

The worst thing to do is to even think about tapering again atm from an unstable position.

 

One step at a time.

I was feeling better, then I crashed again...

 

Its so hard to take it one day at a time...

It’s all we can do.

 

For me it is literally one minute at a time.

It’s all we can do.

 

For me it is literally one minute at a time.

I hate the doctors that did this to us and theb deny our pain

Try this: http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=153201.23930

 

Scroll down to the big quoted post on encouraging g holding quotes.

 

Hopefully that will help you.

Try this: http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=153201.23930

 

Scroll down to the big quoted post on encouraging g holding quotes.

 

Hopefully that will help you.

Thank you

So sorry you are having such a rough time of it - K is really nasty business. I was foolish to detox 30 days. Wish I had given it a bit more time but I couldn't wait to get off it. I'd never go back on that wretched stuff, not ever. But almost daily, it's an effort just to decide in favor of staying with it. Has been a freaking nightmare. I try not to think beyond today -

So sorry you are having such a rough time of it - K is really nasty business. I was foolish to detox 30 days. Wish I had given it a bit more time but I couldn't wait to get off it. I'd never go back on that wretched stuff, not ever. But almost daily, it's an effort just to decide in favor of staying with it. Has been a freaking nightmare. I try not to think beyond today -

30day taper off of that much?!

 

I honestly don't even know if I can taper. The rapid I did off of 1mg is still affecting me

None of the tapers make sense to me. I don't know how people get the numbers!!!

Ivve watched liquid taper videos and those are even more confusing!

So sorry you are having such a rough time of it - K is really nasty business. I was foolish to detox 30 days. Wish I had given it a bit more time but I couldn't wait to get off it. I'd never go back on that wretched stuff, not ever. But almost daily, it's an effort just to decide in favor of staying with it. Has been a freaking nightmare. I try not to think beyond today -

30day taper off of that much?!

 

 

I honestly don't even know if I can taper. The rapid I did off of 1mg is still affecting me

None of the tapers make sense to me. I don't know how people get the numbers!!!

Ivve watched liquid taper videos and those are even more confusing!

 

My situation was at a point I felt the urgent need to get off it. But that's something everyone seems to come to at some point. It's best not to compare your situation with anyone else's, nor is it even meaningful since everyone is different, whose awareness consists of an immense number of variables that continually changes. Yes, I would guess it is confusing, but perhaps a physician that's well informed on Benzo w/d's can help you with a level of taper that's doable. Be gentle and patient with yourself and you will, no doubt, find your way through it.

So sorry you are having such a rough time of it - K is really nasty business. I was foolish to detox 30 days. Wish I had given it a bit more time but I couldn't wait to get off it. I'd never go back on that wretched stuff, not ever. But almost daily, it's an effort just to decide in favor of staying with it. Has been a freaking nightmare. I try not to think beyond today -

30day taper off of that much?!

 

I honestly don't even know if I can taper. The rapid I did off of 1mg is still affecting me

None of the tapers make sense to me. I don't know how people get the numbers!!!

Ivve watched liquid taper videos and those are even more confusing!

 

Try not to worry about how to taper atm.

 

First you need to get some stability on the dose you are on.

 

I made the huge mistake of coming off too quickly, reinstating and then starting to taper before Zi stablised. I have now been in a hell beyond describing for a year. I am pretty much bedbound and terrified of my own living space.

 

So.

 

1. Stabilise on the dose you are on. This might take a few months.

2. Once you are a little calmer you will be able to work out the tapering method and rate that you want to try.

3. When you start your taper go slowly. Listen to your body and hold as long as you need to for symptoms to settle.

 

Hopefully that way you won’t have to have an extremely disturbing and protracted withdrawal.

One thing I found that help’s me to not worry. I try to concentrate on what I am doing at the second That I am doing it, And not on what I will be doing 1 second from now.

 

Example: I talk to myself silently. If I am getting out of a chair from sitting down I say in my head or out loud as I am doing it, ( I am putting my right hand on the chair arm. Now I am standing up, Now I am walking to the kitchen putting my right foot first and stepping on the floor, now my right foot now my left foot is stepping in this spot, now my right hand is grabbing the door handle on the fridge, now I am pulling the door open).

 

Being fully aware of everything and movement I make throughout the day.

 

I do this all day and sounds funny but it works for me, keeps me distracted from thinking into the future and worrying about things.

Don2112,

 

I guess that's what they call mindfulness.  You are only focussing on what you are actually doing every minute rather than doing things without thinking about what you are doing, and having your thoughts on something else.  Not so easy to do.  Good for you.

Don2112,

 

I guess that's what they call mindfulness.  You are only focussing on what you are actually doing every minute rather than doing things without thinking about what you are doing, and having your thoughts on something else.  Not so easy to do.  Good for you.

I was great with mindfulness before I messed this up. Now I can't even meditate?!

 

Thank you all for your super kind words.

Thankfully I'm off work until jan25th.

So I have time to stabilize

 

Ajusta...thank you