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Benzo free after 44 years


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So, after 44 years of Valium dependency, I finished an ~ 1.5 year taper in October 2015.  I finally decided it was time to post this. Save occasional intermittent tinnitus, I'm totally fine. Have been for some time. No other withdrawal symptoms.

 

Some anxiety for which the Valium was initially prescribed seems to have returned. I began CBT therapy for that in August of 2017, and am doing well. Not sure why I waited so long to make this post, maybe I just wanted to feel pretty good overall or maybe I wanted to wait till tinnitus was nearly non-existent. From a strictly withdrawal-symptoms perspective, I could have posted a while ago. 

 

I hope this post serves as encouragement that, even after a long time on benzos, you can be totally free. But please, do not ever try to rush it. Take as long as you need; time is on your side.

 

I am eternally grateful to Benzobuddies, and the taper-mates I had along the way. I have just re-read some of the posts from early on. Amazing camaraderie and love. I wouldn't have made it without you.

 

Love,

 

Steve

 

 

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Congratulations Stevesny!  Thank you for coming back to post.  Happy you have your life back.  Did you suffer from insomnia and how did that resolve for you over time?  Thank you.
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What a success story after 44 years.  That is amazing, thank you so much for posting.  Slow is my middle name, only way I can keep tapering.  Good luck to you and thanks again!! Love, Mary ☮️💜🙏🎄🐕🐾
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Congratulations Stevesny!  Thank you for coming back to post.  Happy you have your life back.  Did you suffer from insomnia and how did that resolve for you over time?  Thank you.

 

Hi hopefulinpa!

 

I almost forgot how it felt to exchange notes with a fellow buddie.

 

I began my taper while going through tolerance withdrawal, and potentiating my Valium with alcohol just to get an hour or 2 sleep each night.

 

As a result of this, my doc put me on gabapentin and trazodone to prevent me from continuing this deadly combination, which I had not realized was deadly. (For anyone reading this, people *have* died. I was informed that Thomas Kinkade had recently died from this combination and from that day on, I never mixed again and considered myself lucky.)

 

This helped mildly, and throughout my taper I slept ok'ish. Insomnia on and off. Never got REALLY good sleep and never felt really rested.

 

Right now, writing this post is the first time I've realized I don't seem to have insomnia. And it has been quite a while. I am slowly tapering off those meds.

 

Looking back, I'd say that my sleep gradually improved over the course of weeks and months, and at some point after about 6 months, I stopped having what I'd label as insomnia.

 

There is a great book that I have used while having insomnia and which helped a great deal. "No More Sleepless Nights." Unlike other books, it is not dogmatic, realizes we are all different, and discusses different ways to get sleep.

 

I wish you all the best, and please free to PM me if you want more info.

 

Steve

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Hey, Steve, so nice to hear from you! And congratulations from one of your taper-buddies! Love 'ya,

 

Katz

 

Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy Katz!

 

So great to hear from you. No joke brought a tear to my eye.

 

Actually, one seemingly permanent "symptom" for me, if you wanna call it that, is becoming emotional at the drop of a hat. THIS is NOT said drop of a hat. It is wonderful hearing from you!

 

Love ya back,

 

Steve

 

 

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What a success story after 44 years.  That is amazing, thank you so much for posting.  Slow is my middle name, only way I can keep tapering.  Good luck to you and thanks again!! Love, Mary ☮️💜🙏🎄🐕🐾

 

Oh Mary,

 

Thank you so much, see you on this side as soon as you get here.

 

Love,

 

Steve

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Oh wow!  Steve I’m really happy for you.  Thank you so much for sharing your status.  What a journey!  Happy benzo free life!

 

So thank you so much seltzerer!

 

I truly appreciate that.

 

See you on this side of the taper!

 

Steve

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Congratulations, and thank you for coming back to post! I wish you all the best.

 

Thank you so much Lapis2.

 

I wish the very same for you!!!!

 

Steve

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Congratulations Steve!

 

Can I ask if you had a lot of muscle and pain problems?

 

Thank you so much, Ajusta. My main issues during my taper were insomnia, massive waves, and vertigo. I did have muscle problems, but not nearly as much, I think, as some, or debilitating.

 

Steve

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Hey Steve what a great accomplishment you've made!

I was a long time dependent as you were (40 years) and making my first steps into this new world of cleanness...

And even if I have some symptoms, I am not having that bad journey...

I thought and feared it was gong to be worse!

It was great to read your story. Thanks!!!!

 

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Congratulations Steve!

 

Can I ask if you had a lot of muscle and pain problems?

 

Thank you so much, Ajusta. My main issues during my taper were insomnia, massive waves, and vertigo. I did have muscle problems, but not nearly as much, I think, as some, or debilitating.

 

Steve

 

Hi Steve,

Can you please tell us a bit more about your vertigo and how it left? There are many of us who experience debilitating disequilibrium, as if we're on a boat all the time. Was your vertigo like this, or something else? How long did you have it, and did it fade away, or disappear quickly?

 

Congratulations again on making it to the "other side"!

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CONGRATULATIONS, Stevesny!!!  :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

 

I, too, have suffered from dizziness and vertigo (I do not get vertigo that much, if at all, thank God) since I started on benzos. Hoping to have some indication of when this will go away.

 

I didn't know that about Thomas Kinkade. It's good that you turned away from alcohol.

 

All the best to you, and thank you so much for coming back and telling your story!!! We so need to hear from people who have healed. May you have a lovely life!!!  :smitten:

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Hey Steve what a great accomplishment you've done!

I was a long time dependent as you were (40 years) and making my first steps into this new world of cleanness...

And even if I have some symptoms, I am not having that bad journey...

I thought and feared it was gong to be worse!

It was great to read your story. Thanks!!!!

 

Hey Rodolfo!

 

Thank you!

 

You too have made a great accomplishment! Some people seem skeptical that this can be done after so long on benzos.

 

But as we now know, it can.

 

Encouragement for others.

 

Be well and all the best,

 

Steve

 

 

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Congratulations Steve!

 

Can I ask if you had a lot of muscle and pain problems?

 

Thank you so much, Ajusta. My main issues during my taper were insomnia, massive waves, and vertigo. I did have muscle problems, but not nearly as much, I think, as some, or debilitating.

 

Steve

 

Hi Steve,

Can you please tell us a bit more about your vertigo and how it left? There are many of us who experience debilitating disequilibrium, as if we're on a boat all the time. Was your vertigo like this, or something else? How long did you have it, and did it fade away, or disappear quickly?

 

Congratulations again on making it to the "other side"!

 

Hi Lapis2,

 

Prior to my taper, vertigo was not something I ever experienced.

 

I experienced it all throughout my taper, at times intense, though not constantly. For me it was not debilitating. Some of my taper buddies and I called it the "sick-dizzies" due to the nausea.

 

Subsequent to my taper, it became milder and less frequent, eventually, like now, a sometimes light-headed feeling when I stand up.

 

Perhaps at this point it's related to the gabapentin or trazodone at this point, not sure.

 

I wish I could have been of more help.

 

It will get better over time, rest assured about that.

 

Love, Steve  :smitten:

 

 

 

 

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CONGRATULATIONS, Stevesny!!!  :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

 

I, too, have suffered from dizziness and vertigo (I do not get vertigo that much, if at all, thank God) since I started on benzos. Hoping to have some indication of when this will go away.

 

I didn't know that about Thomas Kinkade. It's good that you turned away from alcohol.

 

All the best to you, and thank you so much for coming back and telling your story!!! We so need to hear from people who have healed. May you have a lovely life!!!  :smitten:

 

Hey Terry!

 

Thank you so much!  ;D

 

As far as an indication as to when it will go away, we are all different.

 

In my case, I had on and off vertigo during my taper, at times intense, but not debilitating.

 

It has diminished gradually, but I still get a light headed feeling sometimes. It's ok. And perhaps it from gabapentin or trazodone. Who knows.

 

Maybe battle scars.

 

Please be well, Terry and again thank you!

 

Steve :smitten:

 

 

 

 

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Congratulations Steve!

 

Can I ask if you had a lot of muscle and pain problems?

 

Thank you so much, Ajusta. My main issues during my taper were insomnia, massive waves, and vertigo. I did have muscle problems, but not nearly as much, I think, as some, or debilitating.

 

Steve

 

Hi Steve,

Can you please tell us a bit more about your vertigo and how it left? There are many of us who experience debilitating disequilibrium, as if we're on a boat all the time. Was your vertigo like this, or something else? How long did you have it, and did it fade away, or disappear quickly?

 

Congratulations again on making it to the "other side"!

 

Hi Lapis2,

 

Prior to my taper, vertigo was not something I ever experienced.

 

I experienced it all throughout my taper, at times intense, though not constantly. For me it was not debilitating. Some of my taper buddies and I called it the "sick-dizzies" due to the nausea.

 

Subsequent to my taper, it became milder and less frequent, eventually, like now, a sometimes light-headed feeling when I stand up.

 

Perhaps at this point it's related to the gabapentin or trazodone at this point, not sure.

 

I wish I could have been of more help.

 

It will get better over time, rest assured about that.

 

Love, Steve  :smitten:

 

Hi Steve,

Thanks so much for your reply. I'm glad your vertigo wasn't too debilitating, as it can be really tough for some of us who suffer with it. I'm hardly functional because mine is quite intense. It's great news that yours went away, though. Thanks very much for the reassurance, as we can all do with a boatload of that!

 

As far as your light-headedness goes, I can say from experience that trazodone can certainly cause that. I was on it for a very short time, but had to stop due to orthostatic hypotension. My blood pressure was low to begin with, and that medication lowered it even more.  Quite dangerous, in my case.

 

Take good care, and I wish you all the best!

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Congrats on overcoming such a huge struggle. Thank you for coming back to write your story too. It means a lot to us that are still in the fight. It's always so awesome to hear about someone being benzo free after long term use because nobody deserves to spend the majority of their lives on these vile little pills. I've been on Valium for 4 years and it feels like 50, so I can't imagine being on it for decades. Enjoy your freedom, health, and happiness!
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Congratulations Steve!

 

Can I ask if you had a lot of muscle and pain problems?

 

Thank you so much, Ajusta. My main issues during my taper were insomnia, massive waves, and vertigo. I did have muscle problems, but not nearly as much, I think, as some, or debilitating.

 

Steve

 

Hi Steve,

Can you please tell us a bit more about your vertigo and how it left? There are many of us who experience debilitating disequilibrium, as if we're on a boat all the time. Was your vertigo like this, or something else? How long did you have it, and did it fade away, or disappear quickly?

 

Congratulations again on making it to the "other side"!

 

Hi Lapis2,

 

Prior to my taper, vertigo was not something I ever experienced.

 

I experienced it all throughout my taper, at times intense, though not constantly. For me it was not debilitating. Some of my taper buddies and I called it the "sick-dizzies" due to the nausea.

 

Subsequent to my taper, it became milder and less frequent, eventually, like now, a sometimes light-headed feeling when I stand up.

 

Perhaps at this point it's related to the gabapentin or trazodone at this point, not sure.

 

I wish I could have been of more help.

 

It will get better over time, rest assured about that.

 

Love, Steve  :smitten:

 

Hi Steve,

Thanks so much for your reply. I'm glad your vertigo wasn't too debilitating, as it can be really tough for some of us who suffer with it. I'm hardly functional because mine is quite intense. It's great news that yours went away, though. Thanks very much for the reassurance, as we can all do with a boatload of that!

 

As far as your light-headedness goes, I can say from experience that trazodone can certainly cause that. I was on it for a very short time, but had to stop due to orthostatic hypotension. My blood pressure was low to begin with, and that medication lowered it even more.  Quite dangerous, in my case.

 

Take good care, and I wish you all the best!

 

Hi Lapis2,

 

Thank you again, and I of course wish the very best for you, too.

 

Steve

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Congrats on overcoming such a huge struggle. Thank you for coming back to write your story too. It means a lot to us that are still in the fight. It's always so awesome to hear about someone being benzo free after long term use because nobody deserves to spend the majority of their lives on these vile little pills. I've been on Valium for 4 years and it feels like 50, so I can't imagine being on it for decades. Enjoy your freedom, health, and happiness!

 

Thank you very much, burfm.

 

Hope to see you here, on this side, posting your success story!

 

And...all the very best to you,

 

Steve

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