When people think you ‘just’ have anxiety...

My dad called tonight and I told him I finally had a bit of a better day today & was able to be upright. I pushed myself and went out for the evening shopping, washed my truck and out to a restaurant even though I felt like garbage. He said he’s thinks I’m just dealing with anxiety at this point. It upset me.

 

How do you explain that this isn’t just anxiety when so many of the symptoms are in fact anxiety symptoms? but not caused by your mind but because physical issues of the cns. How do you get this across in a way your loved ones can understand? It’s so awful to go through something this terrible and to not feel believed.

 

Can anyone relate?

YES!! Can totally relate. Can you send him Parker’s article on “What is happening to my brain?”  I think I will send it to my Dad too. Thanks.

Yes absolutely, waiting12.  I see it when they turn away or change the subject or characterize it more simply by comparing it to a time they had really bad (not chemically induced) anxiety.  To me, it is anxiety it's just about 100 times worse than any pre-benzo anxiety I've ever had and I don't have the ability to quickly return to a more calm state of mind.  I'm forced to stay in the really high anxiety for a lot longer than normal.

 

I think it's helpful to share stories from others who have gone through it from a reputable source.  Here are some stories you can share:

 

http://w-bad.org/videos/

http://w-bad.org/yourstoryinwriting/

Yes absolutely, waiting12.  I see it when they turn away or change the subject or characterize it more simply by comparing it to a time they had really bad (not chemically induced) anxiety.  To me, it is anxiety it's just about 100 times worse than any pre-benzo anxiety I've ever had and I don't have the ability to quickly return to a more calm state of mind.  I'm forced to stay in the really high anxiety for a lot longer than normal.

 

I think it's helpful to share stories from others who have gone through it from a reputable source.  Here are some stories you can share:

 

http://w-bad.org/videos/

http://w-bad.org/yourstoryinwriting/

 

Great responses so far. I agree, if you explain it in physiological terms, people tend to understand a bit better. For whatever reason, people take physical issues much more seriously than "mental" issues (I guess because they can "see" something wrong). The distinction between mental and physical health is false, though. Poor mental health is the result of nervous system dysfunction, and your nervous system is indisputably a physical system. In this case the nervous system is in hyperdrive for months on end for many people.

 

I'd also like to second seltzerer's suggestion of sending people videos of people talking about their experiences. W-BAD (World Benzodiazepine Awareness Day) and The Benzodiazepine Information Coalition have great youtube channels:

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nxy1GMMbNe4&t=

 

These videos can be pretty cathartic to watch

No one knows about my withdrawal but my doctors, my husband, and my children. I didn’t want the burden of explaining myself to people outside the home. Keeps the stress down. 😊

I just had this again with two friends, two different conversations, they both shrugged and said, i get anxiety too, really bad, and kinda suggested that im not even as bad as they are with it...

 

im just speechless sometimes, no one gets this. i realized though i was focusing in on my anxious symptoms, which just sounds like meh, normal anxiety to folks. i didnt go on about the toxic death poison feelings....but even when i do, people just dont get it. i try to explain the intense agoraphobia and people say, yeah i have problems in crowds too. i explain the dizzy nauseous vertigo world spinning over my head all the time feelings and people say, yeah i hate that i have that all that alot.

 

its like since when anyone describes anxiety, they explain it like its really bad, which i know it is, but i think i used to talk about it like the worst thing ever, so now that its really really awful with withdrawal, its like we're crying wolf. they just dont understand that this is an entirely deeper level of suffering, but when we describe it, its like how everyone describes just plain ole anxiety.

Yes, exactly. Thank you all for the responses.

I absolutely HATE it when friends claim to have insomnia. In know that they have not even come close to experiencing the sci-fi-horror-relentless-soul-destroying HELL that some of us here have endured night after night.

 

What makes me sad is that people probably think of us as malingerers, when, in fact, we are the strongest people on this planet.

 

Most of my friends wouldn't last a minute with the symptoms I have...they'd be pulling their hair out. They get angry if they are laid up for a WEEK with a cold!

 

We all deserve medals and compassion and total respect.

 

Great read! Bottom line untill you go through this no one could ever understand...i wouldn't have...may your next day be better!

I totally relate to this. I’ve tried explaining this to friends and they respond with “well yeah I get anxiety too”, and I think “nooo you don’t”, I mean not like this. I had anxiety prior to benzos, I know what regular anxiety feels like, it does not make me unable to sit up all day due to extreme dizziness, it does not make my breathing laboured for days on end without a break, and it does not just appear for no reason when I’m sitting calmly at home with nothing to make me nervous. This is vastly different from run of the mill anxiety, our whole body’s and nervous system is out of balance here.

Anxiety sucks, seems to just get worse when you focus on it, and only disappears when you push past it for a long time.

Yes it’s so hard to be like umm no, not just anxiety. I’ve been dealing with waves and days of this creepy, intense ‘fear’. I’ve never experienced anything like it & it’s awful. I just feel scared to death for no reason. Sometimes intrusive thoughts try to attach to it other times just nothing but an overwhelming feeling for no reason.  I remember what feeling nervous was like... this is not that. It’s horrible. I hope it passes soon! I’ve been riding it for like a month now. Did you guys find this gets less intense or does it just pass one day? I’m so frustrated with this.

This is the most frustrating part of the whole thing for me.  There are no words to describe what we are experiencing.  To explain it falls short of anything near what is really going on.  It is truly unexplanable and it leaves one feeling insane and isolated.  The advice is meant well but usually quite maddening.  If I was told again that I was depressed and needed to go to 12 step meetings to get out and work through my issues by doctors and family, I was really going to break down.  The fact that I was trying to work and parent was about all I could fake my way through.  It was the most difficult and trying time of my life--I did not think I was going to make it at times but I am glad I did.  It does get better.

I think the most refreshing thing I could experience, preferably from someone who has truly listened to what I have been going through, would be to say something like, "I'm sorry that you are suffering. What can I do to help you?" I suspect I will never hear this, though. All I've gotten so far are prayer offerings as they nervously exit the conversation and walk away. In a way I can't say I blame them. I'm not quite sure how I would react If I were in their shoes. It's unfortunate that we seem to live in a culture where avoidance of unpleasant truths appears to be the norm.

no one gets the toxic death feel like dying every moment thing.

they dont get the revved up overstimulated sensation, that unable to cope with freakin anything feeling as youre hyper sensitized.

and as someone pointed out, the insomina is just far beyond anything most people have experienced. most are totally up in arms for one night of not sleeping - i havent slept in over a year, sometimes a few nights in a row with 0 sleep, or countless nights with no more than 2-4 hours.

 

and the phobic feelings, the agoraphobia in restaurants or the drs office or at work, anywhere, that coming out of your skin about to freak out feeling, ugh, i can never totally explain these things.

 

we're all going to come out of this situation, the gods willing, and we'll go forth in life, and just about no one around us will ever truly know what we went through, it certainly is a noble struggle in that regard.

 

but its frustrating as hell for sure, most people not only dont get it, but they dismiss it as nothing and move right along.

 

we're all going to come out of this situation, the gods willing, and we'll go forth in life, and just about no one around us will ever truly know what we went through, it certainly is a noble struggle in that regard.

 

This is so frustrating, nobody will ever know the beast we have fought daily for months/years.  If our loved ones knew what it is we are battling their respect for us would be HUGE! However there is no way they could know so I guess this is another factor of withdrawal we must accept.  I have developed so much self respect through this process though, due to my strength and resilience, something that everybody here should have.