13 months

So ive been on BB for a while now. And a frequent poster in the post withdrawal section lately. Maybe im on here too much lol. I really have nothing else to do though. I read almost everyones post. I kind of suck at responding to others though, so i apologize if youve got a simplistic reply from me. Anyway, spending so much time on here has made me realize a number of people are getting better. I'm happy for them of course, but am wondering why I dont see any progress. I guess its cus I messed around with other psych drugs and supplements. Cant be sure though. It's really tough. I want to post and say im "50 percent" healed. But I'm 0 percent. After 13 months of fighting I'm stuck at 0. I can't help but crying. I've cried every day this week. Its not easy to make me cry. I mean, I'm a guy. But I've turned into a baby. Its kind of emberrasing. I think im crying because i dont think I'll recover. I used to think I'll recover. But I stopped believing it sometime last month. Im quite sad about this. I hope my mind will change. Gotta see some progress though.

When I am in waves I always feel I am at the worst. 

It is hard for me to remember what windows feel like.  Even I intentionally try hard to remember the good times .

Hello crescentelite,

 

I am sorry that you are having such a hard time. We have all been through the same thing.

 

Remember that everyone is on their own schedule for healing.

 

You will heal; it will just take time. Some people take longer than others. That is just the way it is.

 

PM me if you would like to talk some more.

 

Take care.